#I don’t think I’ll do the every letter it looks too busy

[alternatesouppe]

:D figured out Apollo’s graffiti font! Still thinking about the horns and the back color. The horns are either on only vowels, every letter in Apollo justice’s name, or on every letter

I might do a little editing on design but now I’ve got 2/4 Apollo designs figured out! Still need to design his bike and his graffiti collection ^^;

[missberrycake]

So, I know we all love the headcanon that Eddie moved in with Wayne when he was a teen or a pre-teen, be it because one or both parents died, chucked him out, are in prison, etc. But! I’ve been thinking about another option.

What if Wayne has been looking after Eddie since he was a toddler?

It all comes as a bit of a shock to Wayne who, in his early forties, had pretty much assumed he’d missed the boat on the whole ‘kids’ thing. And yet, here he is, taking in his baby nephew when his brother turns up on his doorstep one day.

When it starts, it’s only supposed to be for a short while. His brother’s wife is newly out of the picture (it’s a crying shame, Wayne had liked her, she’d stayed a gentle soul throughout) and he just needs some time to get himself sorted, right? But then a week turns into a month, turns into two months, turns into half a year and Wayne? Well, he gets attached to the kid, so sue him. 

Because little Eddie is a rambunctious boy. He’s full of gummy smiles and bubbling laughter and Wayne runs himself in circles trying to stop him from toddling into sharp corners and sockets and yards of rope. The two of them are well suited, it seems, and Wayne takes to settling Eddie on his knee in the evenings and going through the races for the next day in the paper.

Eddie chooses a winner more than once. 

Every day, when Wayne comes to pick him up from Julia’s two trailers over (he’s still got to work, something his brother hadn’t considered before he left, or maybe he didn’t care), Eddie greets him with his arms out, already chatting away with the handful of phrases that he knows. 

The boy’s hair is soft and his cheeks smooth and if Wayne gets a little sentimental when he tucks him into bed at night, then nobody else needs to know, do they?

He’s a sweet boy. He deserves someone to care for him. 

So when his brother turns up again with vague mutterings about there being some work for him down in Florida, Wayne’s chest aches. 

“What’s your plan for the littl'un?” he asks.

“Ed? Whad’ya mean?”

“I mean, have you got a place to stay lined up? Who’s gonna look after him while you’re working?”

“I’ll figure somethin’ out.”

He shrugs and Wayne feels something close to panic bubbling in his veins. When he suggests that perhaps his brother should travel ahead, get himself settled first before sending for Eddie, he doesn’t expect him to agree so readily. He can’t say he’s much surprised though. 

The entire exchange doesn’t take more than ten minutes and his brother doesn’t ask after Eddie once, doesn’t show any desire to see him, doesn’t even step inside the trailer—not one jot of fatherly affection shines through. 

It only occurs to Wayne that evening that perhaps this was the outcome his brother wanted. But, hell, it’s fine with him��he’ll let him think he’s winning. Wayne knows who’s got the real prize here. 

He doesn’t mention the visit to Eddie, the kid doesn’t need to know, too busy digging holes and collecting bugs. 

Just like he expected, his brother never sends for the boy. They get letters for the first few years, poorly wrapped and ill-thought through trinkets for the kid’s birthday and Christmas, but it’s not long until they fall by the wayside too. 

Once Eddie’s older, they have a conversation about it. Have to, really, when Eddie comes home from preschool and is full to the brim of questions, because apparently Peter Gillespie says that everyone has to have a mom and a dad, “and I know I have a mom because you’ve told me about her and I said that she’s not around and Mrs. Lang told Peter to be quiet but then I thought about it, but I don’t know, ‘cause you’re my dad, right? I know I don’t call you dad, but that’s what you are, isn’t it? Because what else would you be and Peter says I have to have one.”

It floors Wayne for a moment, but he recovers quickly. He leads Eddie to the couch where he sets him on his lap. For the next while the two of them look through all the pictures that Wayne can find of Eddie’s mom and Wayne’s brother. Wayne makes sure to hold him close and tells him it doesn’t matter that he’s ‘just’ his uncle, that he loves him as much as he would a kid of his own, that he’ll always be around to take care of him. And Eddie takes it all in his stride, in the way only children can. 

“So I can’t call you dad?” he asks.

Wayne lets out a long breath, rubs at his jaw. 

“It’s not that you can’t, kiddo, it’s just that I ain’t.“ 

Because it feels a little like stealing. What would happen, if one day his brother came back and found his kid calling Wayne ‘Dad’. If the boot were on the other foot, Wayne would be angry as all heck. And there was still time, wasn’t there? For his brother to see the error of his ways? Who was Wayne to keep all of that from Eddie? 

“Okay,” Eddie says quietly. “Uncle Wayne is still good.”

“Oh, it’s still good, is it?” Wayne crows and squeezes Eddie tight. “I’m sure glad I meet your high standards, your majesty.”

Eddie just giggles at that. He always giggles when Wayne puts on his voices. 

“And what would the esteemed gentleman like for dinner tonight, huh? The options are spaghetti hoops, spaghetti hoops, or - now let me think. Oh! Spaghetti hoops.”

The nail in the coffin comes one day in the summer of 1978, just before Eddie’s twelfth birthday. It’s been over eight years since his brother dropped him off in search of better things and sure, there have been some days where Wayne has been tearing his hair out, but through all of it he knows he made the right decision that day in the doorway of the trailer. He wouldn’t change Eddie for the world, and he knows by now that there are some out there that would, who would only see the difficult or the different in him, but isn’t that what being a parent is? Loving your kid no matter what? Seeing the good in them and helping them see it themselves?

When his brother slams the door shut on some car so shiny that Wayne wonders if it’s fresh out of the packet, he knows they’re in for some trouble. 

“Nice car, man,” Eddie whistles from where he’d been lounging on the plastic chairs out the front of the trailer. Clearly the sight of something so drenched in luxury in their neighbourhood makes it so that he just can’t help himself.

Wayne’s brother grunts in that way that he always did when they were younger, like he’d gotten away with something. 

Wayne just watches, then, as his brother nods at the book in Eddie’s hands. “A reader, are you?” he says, a joke in his voice. “What’s this? Always knew there were brains in the family somewhere.”

“It’s ‘Lord of the Rings’,” Eddie replies, uncertain. His gaze flicks to Wayne, who nods. Funny, that the kid was quiet now, he’d been ranting and raving to Wayne about that goddamn book every spare second of the week. “It’s got orcs and wizards and elves in and stuff.”

“Fairytales?” his brother scoffs. It grates on Wayne like a physical thing. “What you been doing to the boy, Wayne? Here.” He turns back to Eddie. “You know me, kid?”

Eddie shakes his head.

“I’m your old man! So you like cars, do you? Want to go for a spin in her?”

“You don’t have to Eddie. Not if you don’t want,” Wayne pipes up then. He knows his boy well enough that he can see the internal war going on behind his eyes. And, hell, it is a nice car. Eddie bites his lip and stares at Wayne, eyes wide, asking permission.

“‘Course he wants to.” And his brother is already walking back to the driver’s side door. He winks at Eddie. “Gotta lot of catching up to do, ain’t we?”

“Hold this for me?” Eddie asks and hands Wayne his book before jogging away.

There’s a sinking feeling in his stomach when Wayne watches the dust trail behind the car as it leaves the trailer park. He sits out on the porch all afternoon, eyes flashing towards the road every few minutes. It isn’t until almost dusk that it careens into the park once more. 

The passenger door slams violently and Eddie stomps towards him.

“He’s not my dad,” he splutters as he pushes his face against Wayne’s shoulder. Wayne can feel where his cheeks are hot and flushed.

Cradling the back of Eddie’s head with one hand, he mutters gently, “Yeah, son, I know.”

And how had he ever thought that man could be Eddie’s father? No, Eddie may still call him ‘Uncle Wayne’, but they’ve gone well beyond that and both of them know it.

Directing Eddie back inside the trailer, Wayne sends a small nod to his brother where the man is still lingering by his car door, looking faintly murderous. 

Let him try, he thinks. No one’s taking his boy from him now, come hell or high water.

[Yeah, I'm scouring the archives and trying to salvage as many headcanons as I can from my old deleted account, but let's just pretend this is brand new content.]

[chelseeebe]

everything has changed

you and steve were once the bestest of friends, cruelly torn apart when you’re forced to leave hawkins suddenly. fifteen years on, everything has changed and yet, nothing has changed.

i had this idea a while ago and then have recently become re-obsessed with the song so decided to give it a rewrite! it’s kinda giving seven x everything has changed and i love that. i have a sitcom level idea of a part two for this but i’m not sure it’ll ever come to fruition

18+. no smut but my blog is 18+ :) mostly just fluffy friends to lovers stuff hehe

‎♡‧₊˚

“you promise we’ll be friends forever?” steve asks, quirking his little eyebrows up. still so innocent, so unaware that the world was a cruel place.

“i promise!” you’d shrieked, toothy grin beaming over at him as you sat poised on the climbing frame. “we’ll write letters every week and in the summer you can come and visit!”

steve whooped with glee, the metal frame shaking from the force of his body, “okay! my mom has your mom’s number so i can call you,” grubby hands clinging onto yours.

you throw your arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug, wobbling atop of your tower. full of hope and your shared joy. oblivious to how the next 15 years would play out.

-

life hadn’t been so kind as to keep the two of you in contact. steve’s mom had tried to explain it to him, but his poor seven year old brain couldn’t quite grasp it.

it was only when he was older that he had realised what had happened.

you had been whisked away to california, your mother’s home state, far away from your dad. for your safety of course. his mother had warned him not to mention where you had gone to anyone, and he’d stuck by that.

and really, life had gotten in the way of thinking about you too much. basketball tryouts and getting girls into the back of his bmw had taken precedence over fading thoughts of freckly girls he once knew.

steve was at college now, admittedly tagging along with robin, but he was enjoying it. he played basketball, studied children’s education and had even scored himself a kinda stable girlfriend.

he’s sat in the library, book open and unread in front of him on the table as robin attempts to convince him to go out tonight.

“it’ll be fun! besides, i promised my roommate that i’d go.. y’know she’s having a hard time,” turning on the puppy dog eyes that more often than not, worked on him.

he groans, “i don’t know rob.. finals are coming up soon and i really need to get this down if i wanna graduate with you,” though he makes no effort to actually pick up the book, more interested in the coffee robin had used as a bargaining chip.

“steve,” almost warningly, “come for an hour,” nodding at him, as if to subliminally make him agree, “and then i’ll help you study all day tomorrow, okay?” tilting her head, bright green* eyes glistening at him.

“fine,” succumbing to her pleas, “but you owe me,” sending a glare across the table as he finally turns the page.

robin grins, happy she’d gotten her own way. again.

-

they walk arm in arm into the bar, squeezing through the crowd as they attempt to locate robin’s mysterious roommate.

steve sighs, whispering into robin’s ear, “why do i have to be here? just because your roommate is a lonely weirdo, doesn’t mean you have to drag me out too,” pouting like a petulant child.

she pinches his arm, causing him to yelp into her ear, “this is why i used to pray for the ceiling light to fall on your head in mrs click’s class,” pulling away from him as she spots whoever she’s looking for.

“wait.. what?” he calls out after her, weaving through the crowd to find her again.

she has her face buried into someone’s shoulder, blabbering about the busy bar and how good it was to get out.

robin pulls away, gesturing over to steve as this lucrative stranger meets his eye.

it’s you.

the little girl who had promised to be his best friend forever now stood before him, all grown up. he almost doesn’t believe it. in fact, he can’t. not until you speak, his name echoes around meaninglessly.

“what the fuck?” he gasps, still in utter shock.

“it’s really you? you’re.. oh my god, you’re steve of course you are,” wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug, the exact way you had fifteen years ago.

you even smell the same, a distinct sort of vanilla smell that takes his mind hurtling fifteen years into the past. he almost wants to throw up from the turbulence of it all.

“i can’t believe you’re here,” you gasp, still nuzzled into his shoulder, “this is so surreal,” now holding him at arms length, dissecting his face in the same way he was yours.

you looked the same and yet completely different. no more gappy smiles or sun bleached hair, very pretty. his seven year old self had thought so too, but your friendship had meant more.

“you two know each other?” robin perplexes, watching the scene unfold with zero context.

“we.. uh- yeah,” unsure of how much he can divulge, still under strict orders from his mom to never tell a soul where you’d gone.

“we were friends, i was born in hawkins so.. god, this is so weird,” you exasperate, letting go of his frame to talk to a bewildered robin.

“you’re from hawkins? you told me you were from california?” robins face twists in confusion.

“it’s a.. complicated story,” you look back at him, still trying to decipher if he was even real, “i moved away when i was young but we were like, best friends,” baring your teeth with your smile.

“well shit, i’ve got time,” robin laughs, sliding into the booth, she looks up at steve, “drinks on you.. you know, to celebrate,” wiggling her brows in that irritating way she did when she wanted something.

he dutifully obliges as you begin your story, he supposes that now you probably can.

your dad had moved out of hawkins a while ago, it wasn’t exactly a secret as to why you guys had just up and left so abruptly. steve had always hated him, made sure to glare daggers into his back when he and his mother would pass him in the street or in melvalds. he felt he owed you that.

plus steve was angry, angry that you’d had to leave him behind because of your dad. his tiny mind couldn’t comprehend that it was for the better, only understanding that it was your dad’s fault his best friend had been taken from him.

steve’s curious about california, how your life differed from hawkins. you play it off as nothing special but you smile differently when you speak of afternoons after school spent on the beach and learning to surf.

he makes some off-hand comment about making it out which causes your brows to furrow, “so did you,” tapping the table in front of him, “remember we would talk about college? living in a big house together?”

he chortles, almost choking on his beer, “yeah, with ten dogs and three cats,” shaking his head at the ridiculousness of it all.

“wow..” robin butts in, “so you did this with other girls before me?” faux-offence written all over her face.

you beam, looking between the two of them, “so are you guys dating?”

steve does choke this time, sputtering as the bitter liquid slides down the back of his throat.

“no!” they chime in unison.

“jesus christ, you think i’d date him?” robin falls into a fit of giggles, it didn’t hurt his ego anymore. robin had very particular tastes and that very much didn’t include men.

“thanks rob..” he snarls jokingly, “i uh, i have a girlfriend.. just not robin,” he’s not sure why he’s apprehensive to tell you. christ, he’d only re-known you for five fucking minutes.

“sorry, i just assumed..” shrinking into your seat, desperate to change the subject.

he’s modestly pleased that you don’t ask any more about his girlfriend, which in turn makes him feel a rotten sense of guilt.

“yeah well, to assume makes an ass out of you and me,” robin adds, giving you a poke to your ribs for good measure, “and he’s definitely not my type,” her nose shrivelling up in disgust.

you snigger, poking robin right back as she explodes into her myriad of reasons why she would never date steve. she kept a list.

there’s a sickening feeling of affinity, like all the years you hadn’t been together just ceased to exist, they no longer mattered.

especially when your eyes meet as robin prattles on, like you’re sharing an old joke.

he doesn’t like this, doesn’t fancy his odds of coming out of this unscathed but that doesn’t stop him from shifting his chair closer as the night goes on. nor does it stop him from walking you home, supporting a tipsy robin on his arm.

and it most certainly doesn’t effect him when you hug him goodnight, nestling your chin into his shoulder the way you used to.

fuck.

-

steve climbs down the steps into the strange smelling studio, he hadn’t even known this ever existed. there’s art littering the walls, the shelves, just about any surface that was available.

you’re at the back of the empty room, dabbing a paintbrush onto a canvas, completely unaware of his presence.

“hey.. robin said you’d be down here,” he speaks softly, so as to not startle you.

you still jump, clutching your chest as you spin on your heel, “jesus christ,” panting rather dramatically, “you scared the shit outta me,” shock turning into a wide smile.

“sorry,” he chuckles, weaving through the easels, trying his damn hardest not to touch or knock anything over, “what ya’ working on?” peering at the canvas.

it’s a beautiful scene, a lone swing set lies in the middle, surrounded by a peachy-pink sunset. it’s reminiscent of something he can’t quite place.

“oh just..” shrugging him off, “some stuff for my exhibition.. i dunno if i like it yet,” downplaying the glorious work of art in front of him. as if there were any need.

“what are you talking about? it’s so good,” still clinging onto his backpack strap.

you shake your head, taking the apron off of your body, tossing it onto the hook full of other dirtied aprons. “i can do better.. anyway, did you trek all the way down here for a reason or..?”

he lingers by the painting for a second longer before turning to face you, remembering his actual aim, “yes! are you joining us for dinner tonight? robin wants you to meet all of our friends,” he offers, though he’s aware it’s not much of a deal for you.

“uh.. who’s gonna be there?” you ask, quirking a brow. he’s aware that you’re not exactly a social butterfly.

“well, nancy, jonathan, vickie.. argyle, if jonathan can convince him to come out,” they were all nice enough, if he and robin liked you, they definitely would too.

“i dunno..” wrinkling your nose.

“come on,” he pleads, “it’ll be fun.. they’ll love you. nance’s been begging me to get you out.. please?”

you shake your head, as if weighing up your options, “okay.. fine, but dinner’s on you,” as you drop the pallet into the sink for someone else to deal with.

“great,” he beams, there’s something to be said about the fact he still hadn’t introduced katie to the rest of his friends yet.. but he doesn’t wanna think about that.

his hand comes to rest on what he thinks is a dry desk, waiting for you to finish up, only to find his hand now covered in goopy white paint, “oh shit,” he fusses, pulling your attention from the sink.

“oh fuck, i should’ve told you that was wet..” looking between his outstretched hand and his eyes, a giggle bubbling on your lips as he stomps over to the sink.

“oh is this funny to you, huh?” joining you at the basin.

you run the hot water for him, grabbing the bottle of soap ready to clean his hand, “well it’s a little funny,” lips twitching while he stands like a lemon.

as steve normally does, he acts before he thinks, pressing his paint-covered palm to your cheek, only registering what he had done when you shriek in response, splashing water everywhere.

“you asshole!” you gasp, brows furrowed as you conjure up something for revenge.

that’s when you grab the still paint-covered brush and smear it over his cheek and nose, staining his features a daring bright orange.

“oh it’s like that is it?” he grins, grabbing your wrist with his clean hand, threatening to mark you again. “you don’t wanna mess with me, i’ve got the upper hand,” sticking his tongue out slightly, unable to shake the way your eyes still glistened the same.

“if you want me to come to dinner, you’ll put your hand down.. call a truce,” bargaining with him.

he obliges, holding his hands up in surrender, “okay.. okay, you win,” unable to contain his laughter as he washes the paint from his palm.

you shoulder barge him as you come back to the sink, pulling your clean brushes from the water and leaving them to dry on the metal board.

“we’re gonna have to swing by my room,” you smile begrudgingly, shoving your stuff into your bag, watching as he dries his hand.

“okay,” his grin still lingering, “personally, i think you should just come to dinner like that.. it looks great,” enjoying the ribbing that came with being your friend.

you scoff, practically pushing him out of the studio, ensuring he couldn’t wreck havoc on anything else.

the pair of you glide down the hall, steve filling you in on the guests that would joining you for dinner when a voice calls his name from in front.

katie bounds up to him, smile fading the second she sees the new colour of his face, “why are you orange?” face screwed up as she rescinds her offer of a kiss. he’s slyly thankful that your adorned his face now.

“oh we.. i- i tripped, got paint everywhere,” he chuckles, feeling like a scolded child.

katie hums, “right.. that’s kinda weird,” her eyes flit over to you and the paint on your face, “you trip too?” a judgemental look flashing across her features.

“no,” shrinking into yourself, “steve.. tripped,” doubting your own words, like your measly paint fight needed to be kept secret. but maybe that’s just how he felt, is that wrong?

he can’t decide.

“hmph,” katie frowns, her attention turning back to steve, “go and clean up.. you look like a clown,” before speeding off down the hall, ponytail flouncing around as she goes.

he just rolls his eyes continuing out of the building as you scurry along behind, “she seems nice,” sarcasm dripping off your tongue.

“ignore her,” brushing the whole encounter off, “she’s just.. pissy because i’m busy tonight, don’t take it personally,” offering a short smile. he glances at his watch, grimacing at the time, “oh shit, we’re late,” grabbing your hand as he starts sprinting ahead.

“i can’t meet your friends like this!” you holler, bounding behind him.

“they won’t mind!” he screams into the wind, dodging other students with a skill only possessed by someone who chronically sleeps through their alarm.

they really don’t.

in fact, robin bursts into laughter as you walk into the diner, “i’m not even gonna ask,” tapping the plush cushion for you to slide in next to her, steve follows closely behind.

the two of you share a look, an inside joke that was just yours. he liked that, it made him feel strangely important. like he was worthy of sharing things with just you.

everyone is lovely, obviously. he had no doubt that they would be. argyle corners you about california, discovering that it is a rather large state and no, you won’t have bumped into each other.

steve doesn’t want the night to end, he’s selfish like that. so he does the sane thing to ensure you spend as much time together as possible, walking you and robin back through campus, still adorned with paint.

“thank you.. for making me go,” you smile coyly once you reach your door, robin had already disappeared off inside, leaving just the two of you.

“no worries.. i told you they’d love you,” shoving his hands into his pockets, mostly so he doesn’t do anything stupid.

you chuckle, reaching for the door handle, “i’ve really missed you, you know? it’s like it’s all hit me at once,” shrugging your shoulders as if that were just some nonchalant comment he would ever be able to forget.

“i missed you too,” he adds, truly meaning it.

sure, he’d found friendship again but nothing had ever felt quite like you. it was different, and even now after years and years of being in separate states, with no idea that the other was even still alive, it all felt normal.

like you could walk back into that park tomorrow, sit on the swings and just natter away about everything and nothing like you used to.

“goodnight, see you tomorrow?” you smile, sliding through the door, waiting just long enough for his reply.

“of course,” returning the smile.

he hums all the way home, a child-like joy overrunning his senses. he thinks about you when he dreams, of sharing crayons and candy. high-pitched giggles and an unfaltering feeling of love.

-

it had been weeks of hanging out now, sharing tales from your childhood, robin was still struggling to understand that you were also from hawkins. “you’re just.. it’s crazy, you’re nothing like the usual hawkins dwellers and the fact that you were friends with him? wow..” she had muttered with a swift jab to steve’s arm.

she had had the bright idea of a sleepover, they hadn’t really been able to since moving to chicago, out of respect for their roommates but now her roommate was you, what was stopping them?

“why don’t we push the beds together?” robin blurts out, like a lightbulb had just gone ding on the top of her head.

you nod excitably, going to heave your bed across the room. steve pushes the end of the bed frame, connecting it to robin’s as she stands there doing absolutely nothing to help.

“phew thanks robin, couldn’t have done that without all your help!” steve quips, throwing his best friend a snide smile.

“shut up dingus, my nails are still wet,” as if that made it okay.

you smile at the two of them, stood in your pyjamas that steve had definitely not been gawping at. he doesn’t mean to, he knows it’s not like that. he has a girlfriend for christ’s sake.

that’s what he’s been telling himself anyway.

“you’re in the middle,” robin declares, looking at you, rather than him, “put your cold feet on somebody else for once,” before climbing into her side of the bed.

you slide in next, cuddling up to robin as you do. steve’s next, fashioned in his excuse for pyjamas, namely a chicago university shirt and his boxers. it probably wouldn’t go down well if katie were to find out but he didn’t particularly care.

there’s a joke there, something about sharing a bed with a lesbian and his childhood best friend but he can’t be bothered to think about it.

not when you turn over to face him, all smiles and warm cheeks, he has to remind himself that robin is on the other side of you, mumbling something about not waking her up early.

“goodnight,” you grin, relaxing into the pillow you shared as the light flickers off.

“night,” he replies, pulling his eyes away from your shadowy features, deciding that staring at the fuzzy ceiling was better than being a freak.

you roll over slightly, head falling onto his shoulder making his breathing falter, sworn to this position until you up and moved. it’s a sacrifice he’s willing to make.

he shouldn’t be thinking like this, you’re friends, old friends to be exact. and he has a girlfriend.

-

except, he awakens in the morning, stiff shoulder and a cricked neck, taking a peek at the other side of the bed to find robin had forced you into him with her sprawling limbs.

you rouse not long after he does, blinking at the light and hurriedly moving your head from his dead arm.

“oh my god,” you remark, “i’m sorry.. was i on you all night?” wriggling around the small space you held.

steve exhales, lifting his arm in the air in an attempt to get some blood flowing back into the extremity, “yup.. it’s okay though,” quickly rolling over to face you, “sleep well?”

“well, apart from robin’s foot in my back.. yeah, pretty well,” chuckling into the pillow as you shy away. he wishes you wouldn’t.

“then it was worth the dead arm,” returning your abnormally bright smile, you were far too chipper for this time in the morning but he didn’t mind. made a difference from the usual grump robin was in, for sure.

“you should sleep over more often,” you smile.

he heart soars, god he’d love to. “oh yeah? like we used to?”

the crinkle by your eye returns, remembering times gone by, “yeah, just like that,” speaking softly, as if it wouldn’t take an industrial alarm to wake robin.

“you wanna go get breakfast?” he asks, before this devolves any further.

“absolutely.”

-

there’s a knock at the door, tommy doesn’t flinch, doesn’t even make a half assed effort to pretend to care so steve huffs and gets up to answer.

you’re stood on the other side, already smiling as you wait. it’s a welcome sight, without robin he’s been a little stir-crazy, not yet brave enough to venture to your room without her there.

maybe he’s afraid that something would happen, maybe he’s not. he’s not entirely convinced that he’d have the power to stop himself.

“i just came to give you a ticket.. for my exhibition, it’s on saturday so.. if you’re busy i totally get it,” you fret, offering out the ticket to him.

there’s an undetermined feeling in his stomach, looking down at the paper ticket in his pal, warmth rushing to his chest at the fact you’d even considered him.

steve steps out of the room, closing the door behind him, away from tommy and listening ears. tommy and katie were friends somewhat, mostly by association through his girlfriend carol. anyhow, he wasn’t keen on him telling some misconstrued story to carol and then reaping the punishment from that.

“wow..” still starstruck that you had asked him. “i’ll be there.. wouldn’t miss it,” sliding the ticket into his pocket, mostly so he would stop looking like a weirdo for staring at it.

“okay,” you nod, smile up to your ears, “it’s only small..” here you go again, downplaying your talent as if steve would ever care.

“stop it,” he warns, jokingly rolling his eyes, “hey, i’ll walk you back.. i needa get out of that fucking room,” gesturing for you to take the lead.

you chatter all the way across campus, talking about everything and nothing, he wants to ask if that painting of the swingset will be there but doesn’t. letting you blabber on about composition and the asshole gallery manager that wants you to set up at 6am.

its only when you reach your hall that you stop, turning to face him with a genuine smile that makes his heart thud.

“it’d really mean a lot if you came..”

he nods, stepping closer only just, “i will, i’ll be there,” assuring you as much as he could. he meant it, too. there’s really nothing he could think of that would make him not go.

he allows his gaze to slip to your lips, he lets himself do that even though he shouldn’t.

studying the curve, the slight gap between your bottom and top lip, the way they twitch with what he hopes is anticipation.

you’re both inching closer, neither of you acknowledging what’s about to happen. the air is thick, silent even. a knowing sense that you’re either about to ruin everything or become something more.

two doors down, a door swings open, a voice bellowing out, “i’ll catch up!” before a boy speeds out, glancing at the two of you briefly before disappearing.

you clear your throat, averting your gaze, studying the dirtied floor, “okay.. i’ll see you saturday,” coy smile as you unlock the door and potter off inside.

steve stands there, blinking at the wooden frame as if you’d somehow materialise from the other side.

he hightails it back to his room, in some sort of daze as he attempts to reconfigure himself. his relationship and his friendship with you. nothing made sense.

he’s not sure it ever will again.

fuck he wishes robin were here. of course she’s at some stupid family reunion when he needs her most. his next port of call would be you and well.. that didn’t seem particularly helpful.

he errs on calling robin, floating around his room with no purpose. at least tommy was no where to be seen, unsure if he could’ve handled his beady little eyes and snooping questions.

katie would be waiting on him, he always stayed over on thursdays, at least he used to. before you were back i. the picture. before you had completely consumed his mind with your stupid smile and stupid face. both a distant memory and an important part of his current life. it’s fucking dizzying.

it’s not really stupid, he thinks he’s stupid actually.

steve does what he does best and decides to ignore his brain, grabs his keys and storms out of his dorm. he’s grateful that katie’s house is on the opposite side of campus from your building. that way he couldn’t accidentally wind up there instead of where he’s supposed to be.

she welcomes him in, a pink, frilly house that steve had always detested a little bit. it smelt too strongly of vanilla and the other girls always side-eyed him, bitter and judgemental over something he couldn’t figure out.

it’s now that they’re sat on katie’s satin bedsheets that he realises that he really, really doesn’t want to be here.

nevertheless, he swallows it down. putting on false pretences as they fake-watch the shitty rom-com she’d turned on to fill the silence.

“so.. have you got your suit for saturday?” katie asks, playing with his limp hand.

“yeah,” resisting the urge to move his hand away, “sorry- saturday? i thought it was tomorrow?”

katie had asked- or more precisely begged him to escort her to this senior send off ceremony. some bullshit sorority ritual that made zero sense to him.

“uh.. no, always been saturday,” she’s still smiling, still trying, “steve, i told you weeks ago,” her frustrations seeping out of her pores, spilling over onto her features.

“you said friday,” so sure of himself, so sure that she was wrong. how would he forget that?

unless something, or perhaps someone was shrouding his mind.

“well, what plans are more important than your girlfriend’s senior send off?” she asks, all defensive.

he struggles to answer, there’s no way he can really spin it to make it sound less bad, strangled noises drift from his throat as the words fail to form.

“exactly,” katie pouts, crossing her arms over her chest, “you’ll just have to rearrange.”

steve doesn’t stay over, makes up some shoddy excuse about needing to study to get out of it. she’s not happy, obviously, but when is she?

he’s grateful that the campus is quiet as he stalks back to his dorm, thoughts swirling through his brain. everything is so confusing, his cushy little college life had been majorly disrupted and now all of the plans he had made had come crashing down.

there had been conversations about finding a house after graduation, moving in together randomly starting their life and yet, that couldn’t be further than what he wanted.

at least now.

-

steve finally gives up, turning to the only person he thinks will rationalise his thoughts, robin buckley. who has pulled her grandmother’s phone into the private dining room just for this conversation.

“we nearly kissed,” he spits out, eyeing the group of drunk students passing in the hallway. wouldn’t it be great if it somehow got back to katie through some nosy busybody.

“what? when? why didn’t you call me sooner?” she demands, “why didn’t you kiss? oh my god steve harrington, you’re so useless.”

“uh.. what do you mean why didn’t we kiss? remember my girlfriend? who’d chop my balls off if i ever cheated on her?”

“who cares? nobody likes her anyway,” robin roars right into his ear.

“i’m not gonna even acknowledge that.”

“okay, well, did you want to kiss her?”

steve pauses, perplexing the situation. he doesn’t need to really, of course he wanted to.

“..yeah.”

“well there you go!” she shrieks.

“it felt.. weird, i dunno, i think she wanted to too,” he curls the cord around his finger, “and now katie wants me to go to this senior send-off thing but there’s the exhibition.. i don’t know what to do,” his shoulders slumping.

“wait wait wait, what do you mean it felt weird?” dismissing his dilemma. you know, the thing he had actually called her about.

“well it felt right.”

the line goes silent but he can still hear her faint breathing down the line. she’s thinking, probably attempting to sweeten up her words. but eventually she sighs, “i think you know what to do.”

“but i don’t! rob i really don’t! why do you think i’m calling you at fucking one am?”

she clicks her tongue and steve can picture what smug look she has on her face, it was a signature feature of hers, especially when she’d been able to prove him wrong. “you do. i think you called me because you wanted me to tell you what you want to hear.. but i don’t even need to do that.”

he wails into the receiver, all he’d wanted was a clear cut answer from his best friend. a little advice and maybe some confirmation bias, was that too much to ask for?

“you’re no help,” he scowls, patting his now empty pockets in search of more coins, “i haven’t got any more change.. i’m gonna have to go,” sighing as he’s left on his own with his head once more.

“you’ll do the right thing, steve. i know you and i trust you,” before the line cuts out, the dial tone screams out.

he slams the piece of useless plastic back onto the holder. that wasn’t helpful, rather just some weird, reverse psychology lesson. he feels cheated, his first option of just flipping a coin would’ve been more helpful.

his feet drag along the carpet back to his room, swallowing the guilt and all of the other confusing emotions he seemed to have accumulated.

it’s funny that even though robin hadn’t exactly said anything specific, he’d known what she was talking about. it’s even funnier that as he climbs into bed, all he can think about is you.

-

steve hangs back, stood at the back while the speech finishes. he doesn’t know what he’s doing here, what he’s supposed to be looking at or talking to, incredibly out of place.

no one pays him any mind, too interested in whatever this balding man has to say.

you don’t spot him either, keeping your eyes trained to the art director. he can tell you’re nervous, picking indiscreetly at your hangnail, chewing on your cheek. you’d never liked, or been particularly good at public speaking, steve was your voice for many years. not that he minded.

there’s lots of chatter, people walking around the small space with their hands behind their back, putting on this facade that they were art snobs and not just weird middle-aged people looking for something to do on a saturday afternoon.

they all sort of disperse, ogling the paintings and such. leaving him stood in the middle of the room like a lemon, wondering if he should just go over to you or wait until this had all finished.

but you meet his eye momentarily, head snapping in his direction when you realise who it is. your lips slowly curve into a smile, ditching the conversation to weave through everyone to him.

“you came,” you state, like there was ever a chance of him not coming.

“i told you i would,” he’s not one to break a promise. ever.

“no i know but, robin mentioned something about your girlfriend, she didn’t know if you were.. forget it,” throwing your hands about, ridding the air of your words.

he’s not exactly surprised that you’d have doubts, not after your almost-kiss the other night. he hadn’t seen you since, too busy with the exhibit to sit and dwell on it, he bets.

steve shakes his head, “nah, i had something more important to do,” full of unbridled exhilaration, it’s like his body knew he had made the right choice.

you flush, avoiding his eyes as you usually do when you’re nervous or embarrassed. “well.. thank you,” shrugging him off. he so wish you wouldn’t.

he decides to just lay it all bare, tired of skirting around the truth and minimising his obviously very real feelings. “this isn’t the right time but,” smoothing down his wrinkled shirt, “i just wanted you to know that i’ve wanted to do this for weeks and.. shit,” he sighs, cupping your cheek and moving in before you can protest.

your lips connect, sending flames through his veins, you’re not expecting it judging by the lack of movement on your part, stood frozen even as he pulls away.

“sorry,” the first thing he says, watching your face as you stand shocked.

he was so sure that his feelings would be reciprocated, had pretty much convinced himself that you were destined to grow grey together but maybe he’d got it all wrong.

his cheeks burn as you just blink, time slows and he wishes that the floorboards would just collapse under him so he could disappear forever.

in lieu of a reply, you smash your faces together again, this time steve’s not quite expecting it, your noses bang against each others. but he doesn’t move, his smile growing against your lips.

there are a collection of muttered oohs from the crowd. it was rather a lot for a saturday morning.

“sorry,” you echo, biting down into your bottom lip, “not the wrong time at all,” your eyes shining through your spindly lashes.

steve bursts into laughter, drawing an even bigger crowd of eyes as he does so. his eyes dart around the vaguely stunned audience, “hey look, find me after.. i’ll be here,” gently pushing you off to go and do whatever the hell it is that artists do at these things.

you nod, all dazed and smiley, immediately falling into conversation about a painting.

-

he’s only dozing when the door creaks open, too encapsulated by sleep to bother to open his eyes. you’re dead to the world, snoring softly curled into his chest.

a quiet gasp rings out from the door and then just as expected, robin bounds over to your bed, poking his arm that was both underneath your shoulders and hanging off of the bed.

he peeks a look at his slightly deranged best friend, the lamp was just bright enough to showcase her enthusiastic grin, “you did it!” whispering far too loudly, “i knew you’d make the right choice,” buzzing around the room.

she damn near jumps in the air, clicking her heels together like some freak.

steve just closes his eyes again, falling back into sleep with a grin on his face and you between his arms.

[softestqueeen]

red roses and deadly promises

pairing: Zade Meadows x fem!reader

summary: When your stalker, Zade Meadows, has to do some business out of town, someone new makes an unwelcome appearance. How will Zade react when someone tries to steal you away from him?

warnings: 18+ MDNI!!!! stalking, cunnilingus, blow job, face fucking, attempted rape, dom/sub, pet names, death, murder, body parts, rough sex, knife play, dirty talking, aftercare, p in v sex, breeding, creampie, stabbing

wordcount: 10.658 (lol)

a/n: I think there is not enough haunting adeline fanfiction out there, so here you go! btw I don’t know what happened I only wanted to write about 7k words…. anyways enjoy <3

It had been going on for a while.

It started out with harmless flowers paired with deadly promises. Whenever you got home there would be a bouquet of fresh red roses waiting for you. Hanging from it: a note. It wasn’t always the same, but it always went along of the lines of You’re mine, if anyone ever touches you, they’ll die, you’re so beautiful, I love watching you, etc.

The first time you received a bouquet of red roses, the note read:

You’re so beautiful, I love watching you my little mouse. Can’t wait to play with you. Don’t even try to go to the police, it will change nothing. Love, Z

You were scared shitless. You didn’t know what to do. Even though the mysterious stalker told you not to go to the police it seemed like the most logical option. You didn’t want to ask your best friend, as to not worry her too much. She already didn’t like the fact that you moved into your grandmas old “haunted” house that was literally in the middle of nowhere, so the only logical thing for you was to wait. Wait what his – you assumed it was a man - next move was or if he maybe would even stop.

But actually, quite the opposite happened. The roses came more often, even inside of the house while you were there. Sometimes they were in the kitchen when you wanted to eat breakfast or in your bathroom, which could only be accessed through your bedroom or through the window, which is almost too small for a frown man to get through. You found them in rooms you normally wouldn’t go in. Your grandmother’s old study, in the attic, behind doors that were so dusty, you had to wear a mask before entering, scared you would inhale too much of it.

And still, you could be sure in almost every room in your house was a bouquet of red roses waiting for you.

After a few weeks you suddenly felt a shift. You weren’t as scared anymore but rather felt a weird sense of comfort anytime you got something from him. You knew he wouldn’t let anybody hurt you. He protected you like no one ever did and even protected you from himself. Alone the memory of that note made wetness pool in your panties.

I wish I could come to you little mouse. I live to protect you. No man will ever lay a hand on you, be sure of it. But protecting you also means protecting you from me. I wish I could come to you and ruin you, make you my slut and my good girl. I want to be the cat that fetches you and eats you alive, little mouse, seeing the life draining out of your eyes. Every time I, watch you undress, or watch you showering, rubbing yourself with soap, letting it glide over your skin… I’m always so fucking tempted to take you right then and there, especially when I catch you touching yourself. But I will have to wait. I don’t want to ruin your innocence. Yet. I’ll see you soon little mouse. Love, Z

It was the longest note you’ve ever received. You know you shouldn’t, but you’ve read it over and over. It was not just a note, it was a letter. A love letter, a deranged and sick love letter. But a love letter, nevertheless.

And if you were being honest with yourself, you could see yourself falling for him. You knew it was oh so wrong but that just made it oh so much more appealing. A forbidden love to your stalker who you thought may love you even more.

It had been a cold autumn day, and you were very much looking forward to cuddling up with a book under a blanket, drinking warm tea and enjoying the new season from the inside. Maybe even curl up in your grandmothers old rocking chair, that brought you so much comfort.

Entering your home, you indulged in the warmth and comfort of it. You went into the kitchen, expecting another bouquet of red roses with a note hanging from one of the stems. But nothing could have prepared you for what you actually saw.

Your kitchen had a long window that went along the whole length of it and had a beautiful view of the garden and the woods behind it, that seemed to go on forever. There were curtains, but you never used them, rather enjoying the warm sunlight and how it brightened up the room.

In this situation you weren’t sure if you were grateful for the full view of the garden. Because there was a tall figure standing in the woods, but still in a way that he knew you saw him. And he was looking directly at you.

Was that Z? Was that your stalker? Is that really the man who haunted not just your nightmares but also your wet dreams?

You couldn’t see much of him, only that he must be very tall. Probably even a foot taller than you. You had to admit, you were scared. Of course, you knew that there was a real person behind Z but seeing him was definitely something else. It wasn’t just a silly game anymore it was serious now.

You were frozen on the spot and didn’t dare move. You remained in the same spot, even when you noticed that he was now moving towards you.

Again, you didn’t move a muscle but rather concentrated on the details that came now into view. He creeped closer and closer, and you could now see that he was wearing a balaclava or a scarf that covered his nose and mouth. But his eyes told you all that you needed to know.

His eyes were beautiful, even though his right eye was adorned with a massive scar. The scar didn’t take away the beauty of him though, his eye almost white and the unscared one was a beautiful and rich blue.

He came to a stop in front of the window and looked into your eyes. For a moment you were just standing there, gazing into each others’ eyes. And in this moment, you completely forgot that you were looking at your stalker for the first time. You were so lost in the eyes of the stranger you seemed to know so well.

You’ve never felt this connection with someone, though you’ve also never been stalked. Was this a sick variant of Stockholm-Syndrome? Were you going insane? Because you definitely felt like it.

He broke the stillness of the scene and put his hand against the window, looking at you in a way that made your knees go weak. You took a hesitant step forward, planning on putting your hand to his.

He looked at you expectantly, still with his hand to the glass. You reached your hand out and covered his big hand with your smaller one. At the thought of what these hands are capable of, a shiver ran down your spine.

You both waited for the other to pull away, but both of your hands remained on the window. You looked into each others’ eyes, waiting for some truth to be revealed but it remained peacefully quiet.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and he pulled away. He took out a rose from his back pocket, attached to it one of his infamous notes. He put the rose on the windowsill on the outside of the window, sent you a wink with his blue eye and then turned around and walked away, not honouring you of another glance.

The moment he disappeared into the woods, you snapped out of it and ran into the back yard. You couldn’t see him anymore, still you ran until you felt like you were about to pass out, the adrenaline slowly leaving your system.

You went back to the house and took the rose with you, deciding that you would read the note while you were waiting for the tea water to boil. You put the kettle on the stove, a light tremor in your hand.

You put the singular rose in a glass of water before taking the note out of its envelope.

I can’t wait to see you in real life and not just through the cameras. I know you’ve installed some to catch me, but I have also placed some to catch you in my trap, little mouse. Till we see each other again Love, Z

He did WHAT now?? He placed cameras in your house?! You were conflicted. You knew you couldn’t really remove them (if you even found them) because you were sure he’d just place new ones. But in a way you also felt comforted and safe because you now knew he was always watching you and keeping you safe. Yes, you were aware of how weird that sounded but for you it felt so right.

Oh boy, what did you get yourself into?

After the window incident the letters and roses slowed down a bit. If you were being honest, you were a bit nervous. Did he lose interested now that he saw you? Did he not think you were pretty enough to be with someone as handsome as him? You didn’t know what to do. Even though the flowers and notes still came, it felt different.

‘Fuck. My. Life.’, Zade Meadows thought to himself. How was he supposed to get you out of his head now that he had seen you up close. You were the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen and now he knew he just had to have you. He didn’t care how long it took but he was going to get you and he would never let you go again. You drove him absolutely wild. The way you looked at him, the mix of fear, intrigue and slight arousal made it hard (no pun intended) for him not to break into your house and fuck you right then and there on the kitchen floor, against the counter and on a chair with you on his lap.

Unfortunately, things were not that easy. You were so young compared to him and seemed so innocent, looking at him like a dear in headlights. He had seen the worst things the world had to offer and also committed some of the worst crimes one could imagine. He didn’t want you to find out that he was such a monster. He wanted to be a good man for you, but he also knew that that was impossible due to his mission.

Yes, he wanted to rid the world from all the pigs that were walking around, and molesting kids left and right. In the beginning the reason for it was that he just wanted the world to be a better place and that no one had to go through the things he had to go through. But now he had a new reason that was way more important to him.

He wanted to make the world a better place for you. He knew that you would be a lot safer once all these horrible people have gotten what they deserved. And he also wanted the world to be a better place for your future children. Fuck, once he had you, he wanted to start a family with you. He knew how dangerous that was due to his profession but once all these assholes have been erased, no children would come to harm anymore. And if there were new ones, he would do the same thing to them. Whatever it took to keep you and your future children safe.

What was wrong with him, why was he thinking about starting a family with you? He had never felt that way about someone. Since he saw you at that book signing, he couldn’t get you out of his fucking mind. You were intelligent, clever, and witty. He read your books over and over before he decided that he needed more than your words.

After he saw you in that kitchen and knew that you saw him too, he had to take a step back. He was coming too close to the point of no return. He knew that there was a line he couldn’t cross yet, and he was literally about to step over it. He sent you less flowers and less notes, hoping that would ease his lust.

Spoiler: it didn’t.

He was completely clueless and out of control. He felt so helpless when it came to you, even though he also knew how much control he had over you. It was the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life: staying away from you.

The only thing he wanted to do was hold you, kiss you, fuck you, and completely ruining you. He would turn his little mouse into his perfect little slut. Into his good girl. He couldn’t wait.

Thank God, a few weeks later the letters and flowers went back to normal. He didn’t tell you in his letters – you started calling them letters because they have gotten way longer in the last few weeks – why he suddenly wrote you less, but you didn’t care now that it was back to normal.

There weren’t any other occurrences with him, and you got out of your house more. You finished a new book – ironically a mafia stalker romance novel – and were now giving signings here and there, mostly at local bookstores though. You loved interacting with your fans and to see them enjoy the books you’ve written.

You were signing books at a bookstore that was a bit further away from your town. You didn’t think much of it and were just excited about being able to talk to more of your fans. The bookshop was stuffed and the line for the book signing seemed endless. The fact that you loved to talk to your fans didn’t help that either.

After saying goodbye to yet another fan you looked up to greet the next person in line. Your mouth fell open in shock at the sight presented to you. There was your stalker, still with mask but at least he was there. You almost didn’t believe your eyes.

He mustered you with curious eyes, scanning your whole body before he looked into your eyes again. He put your (!) book on the table, one of his signature red roses used as a bookmark. You gulped before you opened the book at the marked page. You almost let out a laugh at the scene. It was the scene where the male main character confessed his love to the female main character. Afterwards followed a very unholy spicy scene. Was he suggesting something?

he took the book out of your hand, his fingers brushing yours. They were cold from what you could tell, and you had to keep yourself from taking his hands in yours and warming them. He flipped to the front page where you would normally place your signature.

But instead of an empty page there was a note.

You look so pretty, sitting there and signing your books. I’m watching you, always. No matter where you are no one will ever get to have you except from me. Thank God, there are almost no male fans of yours, I’d hate to get my hands dirty. Love, Z

He looked at you while you read the note, looking as relaced as ever while you were losing your shit. You didn’t know how to react or what to say. You didn’t have to wait long though, because he did the most unexpected thing you could have imagined.

“See you next time, little mouse.”, he whispered into your ear, having leaned slightly forward so you could feel his breath on your face. It’s a good thing you were sitting down right now, because you were sure that if you were standing your feet would have given in.

You had never heard his voice before, but now that you had you were addicted. It was deep, rich and he had said these few words with a little rasp that drove you insane. You had read about such voices in romance novels before, but you would have never deemed it possible to experience it.

You knew that this was a cliché, but he smelled so manly. His intoxicating scent a mix of tobacco, wood, and musk with a hint of leather. You knew this man was going to be the death of you.

He leaned back, took the book again and left the bookstore without looking back. The rose was still laying on the desk and you quickly put it into your bag before greeting the next fan. The rest of the signing went by in a blur because all you could think about was the voice of your mysterious stalker.

How were you supposed to keep on living a normal life knowing how his eyes looked, staring into yours, how his voice sounded like and how his breath fanned against your face so delicately. How were you supposed to life when all that you could think about was his smell and how much you would like it to cling to you and your bedsheets. After the book signing it was getting quieter again and you haven’t gotten something from him in a few days. You didn’t worry too much though, knowing he was probably strong enough to defend himself.

Upon hearing a knock on the door, you enter the hallway. You did not have to open the door, to see the package your stalker left you, as it lay on your side of the door. That was weird, he had never left you anything that was not roses. You could feel a shiver running down your spine at the thought of your stalker returning to you and entering your house without you noticing it.

As you hadn’t heard from your stalker in a few days, this was a highly anticipated package. You made a few steps towards the box and noticed a note on top of it. It read:

Well, if this isn’t my new doll. I’m definitely looking forward to playing with you, bunny. Don’t even try to hop away from me, you can’t get rid of me. I’ll see you around, but you won’t see me. Anonymous

Your blood ran cold as you realised what that message meant. You went to the kitchen, forgetting about the still unopened package. You opened one of your kitchen drawers, revealing a pile of about three dozen notes. They were all signed from your stalker with the same letter. Z

Your worst fear was now confirmed. You had a new stalker. The mysterious Anonymous did write about being excited for his ‘new doll’ and called you bunny, even though you knew Z always called you his little mouse.

You panicked. Where did Z go? Is he okay? Who is your new stalker? Who even is Z? What would happen next?

Suddenly you remembered the package that was still waiting for you to open it.

You went back to the door, nervous about what could be in it. You knelt down on the floor and slowly opened it. The box was quite big, but what lay inside wasn’t. A wave of nausea rolled over you at what lay in that box.

It was a pair of eyes.

Real, human eyes. They were beautiful, dark brown with specks of green in them, but this was not the right moment to think about these things. There was till blood on them, and their optic nerve was still hanging on them. It almost felt as if they were watching you.

You wanted to close the box again but found yourself being unable to do so. You were shocked by what you saw. Whose eyes where that?

But before you could close it, you saw another message.

Now that your lame excuse of a stalker is out of town, he sent this scumbag to do the job. But no one is worthy enough to look at you except for me. Don’t worry Zade is the next one on my list. Anonymous

You froze. Z stood for Zade? Your stalker name was Zade? You were shocked that you found it out like this. It was a beautiful name though and seemed to fit him quite well if your being honest.

Anyways, at the thought of him getting hurt, your blood ran cold. You cared more for him than you liked to admit and knowing you could do nothing to protect him made you feel useless.

Zade Meadows was currently in Washington, wrapping up some business and trying to get a few high politicians behind bars. He hated leaving you alone, but he couldn’t reveal himself to you completely yet and take you with him, so you had to stay home.

He didn’t tell you he was leaving but thought you would notice the lack of notes and roses. He couldn’t leave you completely alone though, so he sent one of his best men to look over you during his absence. René Bellucci. He made it clear that if René were to even think about you being anything more than a mission, he would take care of him himself.

The way the man gulped and nodded, Zade knew there was nothing to worry about. So, he commanded René to send him a daily report of what you were doing and if anything happened to you, he was to tell Zade immediately, no matter what time it was.

After he scared and instructed René he could attend his business trip in peace. But of course, it wouldn’t go like he planned. He was able to get all the congressmen and politicians he wanted behind bars for now, but before he could enjoy his victory, he wanted to check on you.

He took out the burner phone that was specifically for these updates and turned it on. But to his surprise there were no new notifications. The update should have come about an hour ago, so a delay was out of question.

His heartbeat picked up. He immediately called René to see what was going on, but he immediately got to his voice mail.

Something was very wrong.

He took out his secret laptop to check on the cameras he (not so) secretly installed in your house. He knew it was wrong, but so was everything he did when it came to you.

He opened the laptop and typed in the password to access the camera feed. And there you were.

He let out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding at seeing you safe and sound. But when he looked a bit closer, he could see how shaken you were. He immediately turned on the microphones and listened to what you were saying.

“This- This can’t be. Fuck, what am I supposed to do now? Where is he?”, he almost couldn’t hear you because you were whispering these things to yourself. His muscles were taut as he tried to find out what was wrong.

Zade currently watched you through the life feed, where he couldn’t see anything suspi- Wait, was that a package? He quickly went to the feed of your hall and zoomed in. The package was closed but it seemed like you already opened it, so he went to see what had happened in the minutes before.

He rewound the recording and saw you taking a note to the kitchen. You read it quietly to yourself, but it was still loud enough for Zade to hear it. His blood started boiling at what he heard. A new stalker? Definitely not. The celebrations for today where cancelled.

The recording kept on going and he saw you return to the package. You knelt down and opened it, revealing a pair of eyes? What the fuck? Again, he could hear your small voice reading the letter.

Oh oh.

That weren’t just any eyes. That were Renés eyes. Fuck.

How could that have happened? He should have known that such a beautiful woman wouldn’t be alone for long. Still, he always thought that he would stalk you and maybe in the long run reveal himself and claim you as his. But he wouldn’t have thought it possible that someone else was suddenly trying to take his place in such an extreme way.

Rage overcame him as he thought about this other man watching you and entering your house. He had to get to you. As fast as possible. Now.

He left his things behind, asking his assistant to pack them and take them with her when she went back the next day. He jumped in the car, roared the motor to life and drove like his life depended on it. And it did. You were his life and without you he had no reason to live.

Honestly, you were scared. You didn’t know what to do with the eyes, neither did you know what to do with the knowledge of having a new stalker.

Suddenly you heard something. It was an old house, so you often heard weird noises, but this noise didn’t come from nowhere. There was someone in your house. You were scared. You didn’t know what to do but wait for another indication of the intruder.

You heard a floorboard creaking, this time way closer to you. You took out a big kitchen knife, holding it with both hands and bracing yourself for what was to come.

You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, your heartbeat loud in your ear. You could have fainted from the suspense. You prayed that this was Z or Zade in your house and not this new guy.

Why were you such a stalker magnet?

You didn’t know what to do. You could hear the footsteps clearer now, knowing that that meant they were coming closer. You had closed the door behind you when you re-entered the kitchen, so you couldn’t see the person behind it. But maybe that was for the better.

Suddenly the footsteps stopped behind the door. It was silent except for your heavy breaths. You could see the doorknob turning and the door being opened. You looked at the intruder in disbelief, dropping the knife in shock.

Zade had never driven this fast and reckless in his life. The only thing that mattered to him right now was that you were safe. He didn’t know what was happening right now at your house, but he would soon find out.

The fact that he didn’t know what was happening stressed him even more. He couldn’t even call René, because he was dead. He almost forgot about that. Though he was glad that the man didn’t have any family waiting for him at home. To be honest, most of the people that worked for him didn’t belong anywhere else, and he was always glad he could give them a home.

But he had to concentrate on 1) getting as fast to you as possible 2) driving carefully so he didn’t injure someone else or even himself, though he would have tried to get you even if he had been shot in the chest 3) distracting himself from the images of you getting hurt by someone other than him, that were currently going through his mind.

He was pressing down on the gas pedal as hard as he could, not caring at the people honking at him. The only thing that mattered to him right now was you.

You were still standing frozen in place in the middle of the kitchen.

You were standing face to face with a man that was definitely not Zade. He was slightly smaller, both of his eyes were dark brown, reminding you of the eyes that lay just a few meters away still in the box, but the one thing that you noticed right away was the lack of scar.

Zade had a beautiful scar that ran over his eye, giving his look a dangerous edge. But this man did not look like that at all.

And that could only mean one thing. That was your new stalker. Well, it could also be a random man who wanted to rob you, but due to the circumstances you ruled that one out.

“Well, if that isn’t my new bunny.”, the mysterious man told you, revealing a significant part of his identity. And yup, that was definitely your new stalker.

You turned around and started running. You just ran deeper into the house, but you knew it so well by now that you could find your away around it blind. After a moment you heard a second pair of footsteps echoing through the house, meaning the man was now trying to catch you.

You had dreamed of this moment before, your stalker running after you, chasing you through the halls and rooms you knew so well. But you imagined Z chasing you. You felt like you could trust Z, but you couldn’t be sure of the man currently running after you.

Your mind was going even faster than your feet, trying to find a way out of the house and into freedom, but it seemed almost impossible to achieve.

You almost didn’t hear it over the volume of your thoughts, but the second pair of feet had stopped. You did now the same, catching your breath and trying to think of your next move. You were almost at the door and if you were lucky, you could just slip out, jump in the car, and drive as fast as you could. But of course, it wasn’t that easy.

You felt a pair of hands gripping your waist pulling you back and against a hard chest. Before a scream could escape you, a hand covered your mouth.

“Gotcha, bunny!”, you could hear him whispering in your ear. You let out a scared whimper that was immediately muffled by his hand.

He grabbed your waist a bit rougher, pulling you into a small closet, that had blinds on their door, making it possible to look out of it but impossible to see inside. You had an ugly idea where this was going.

“Your little boyfriend is probably already on his way here. It feels like it didn’t take him long to figure out that I killed his little henchman.”, he told you with a grin evident in his voice, before adding, “I sent you his eyes, bunny. I hoped you liked your present. Did you like it bunny?”

You only whimpered at his question, now feeling the barrel of a gun against you instead of the hand that was gripping your waist.

The thought of Z being on his way to you and possibly saving you made your heart skip a beat. But you couldn’t trust your heart right now because it could also be out of rhythm because of the gun that was currently pointed at you.

He pulled it away for a second and kicked you in the knee. The action made you unsteady for a second but that was enough to get a hold of both of your arms and tying them together with a rope. He put his hand over your lips again before you could hear the sound of a zipper.

He pressed his hips against your ass, and you could feel something hard pressing against you that was definitely not the gun.

He leaned down to your ear again, his breath brushing unpleasantly against your skin.

“Your little boyfriend is going to come in here any moment and you’re not going to make a single noise while I rape that little pussy of yours. I’m going to pump you full of my seed, so you’ll be stuck with me forever.”, he let out a dark chuckle before pressing against you again. You could feel that he freed his dick from his pants and was now humping against your ass, that was still dressed in the jeans you wore from the day.

Like he had predicted it you could suddenly hear tires squeaking against the road and a car halting abruptly. You heard the car door opening and closing and rapid footsteps coming closer and closer.

“Be quiet for me, bunny. Let him search for you while I mark you as mine.”, he warned you before you heard banging against the door.

“Little mouse? Can you hear me? Are you alright?”, you heard a muffled voice through the door before the banging continued.

“Not a single sound.”, the man behind you reminded you.

The banging continued before it abruptly stopped. What was happening? Did he leave you now that you needed him the most? You heard him walking away and open a car door. You heard it close again and thought he would leave you alone now. Alone to fend for yourself against a man that you had no chance against.

But suddenly you heard footsteps on the front porch again. Could it be possible that he opened the trunk to get something? And really, you could hear a kind of metallic banging before the door gave in and came crashing down.

You could see someone enter and when he turned to the closet you could see his face. It was Z. He came to save you.

Theres nothing you’d rather do than scream out and tell him where you are. He was so close, but because he could not look inside of the closet he was also so far away.

Since he came into view you had been holding your breath. You were starting to feel a little bit lightheaded, so you breathed in through your nose.

Zade stopped for a second and looked into your direction, being under the impression he heard someone breathing. He quickly turned away again, seeing nothing but the walk-in closet.

He went into the kitchen and calling out your name, but to no avail. He couldn’t find you.

You had to be home, he saw your car in the driveway and there were none of the shoes missing. He stepped on the package while he was in the hallway. Not that he was in the kitchen and saw the notes, picking them up and reading them again. He could feel the blood boiling under his skin, the urge to murder this mysterious man was growing by the second.

How fucking dare he?

He started running through the house, calling your name, frantically searching for any sign that you could be alive. He went back to the kitchen where he noticed something.

There was a knife on the floor. How did it get there. The drawer where you have taken the knife out of, was still half opened. Did the guy break into your house and you wanted to defend yourself? Now he was really fucking scared about what could have happened to you. He just hoped you were still alive. If not, his hands would be drenched with that scumbag’s blood by the end of the night.

You saw him re-enter the kitchen after he went around the house and screamed you name, sounding more desperate by the minute.  Your kidnapper was still humping against you and unbeknownst to you was thinking of a way to remove your trousers without making any noise or removing his hands from you.

You were panicking, tears streaming down your face, waiting for something to happen. After Z went into the kitchen, he went quiet, which made you even more nervous. What were you supposed to do? What would happen if he would leave? What would happen if he thought you were not here anymore?

Would you get raped by a stranger and because of that maybe even get abandoned by the man you grew to love? You could feel the frustration of never really getting to know him, even though he practically knew everything about you.

You could do nothing but wait, trapped in a closet with a gun held to your body.

Suddenly you could hear a drawer being closed and steps coming closer. Zade was now standing in your hallway again, looking around. He made a tempestive step to the closet before halting abruptly. He seemed to think for a second, though his expression remained unreadable.

He made another step forward, now standing directly in front of the door. If he listened closely, he could hear your laboured breathing.

He knew you were behind that door. The only problem was that he didn’t know if you were alone. You probably weren’t but he had to think about the possible outcomes.

If you were alone, you would probably recognize him and let him take you to a safe house where you were safe until he killed that bastard that threatened him.

But if you weren’t alone, he had to get you away so he could kill that asshole. That’s unfortunately not as easy as he thought though, because he was probably not that stupid. Of course, he wasn’t intelligent either because that man messed with what’s his. You.

He had to admit, he was scared. If that man was armed, he could risk hurting you. He could of course wait until his team arrived – that he called before he drove to your house like a maniac – but that could potentially be too late.

He decided on a plan: he would open the door, if you were standing directly in front of you, he would pull you out of there, throw you to the side and attack ‘A’. If you weren’t standing directly in front of it, he would pull out the other guy, lock you into the closet and then fight ‘A’.

He took a deep breath and opened the door. What happened after, went by like a flash.

He saw that you were standing there and yanked you out by your sweater, throwing you to the side as gentle as he could. He took his knife out – he forgot he also had a gun in another pocket – and stabbed the man in front of him in the stomach.

He didn’t see that he was holding a gun, so when Zade stabbed him, a shot went lose, making you scream.

Zade pulled out the knife and his opponent collapsed to the floor.

Snapping out of it, he left the small space to look after you. He didn’t know if you screamed out of shock or if the bullet hit you.

You were standing there, white as a sheet, looking at him in horror.

“Are you alright? Did the bullet hit you?”, he asked you so fast, you almost didn’t register the question.

“No- No, it didn’t hit me.” At your words, Zade let out a sigh of relief.

He went back to the closet, taking a closer look at the man. He didn’t seem to know him, but at the sight of his small dick that was exposed he wanted to do unspeakable things to him. Did that fucking asshole really try to rape you?

Zade had to take a few deep breaths to not kill him on the spot. He was going to have his fun with him later, but now there was something more important that he had to take care of. You.

You were still standing in the hallway, shocked at what happened. You were almost raped and kidnapped, you had seen Zade without a mask for the first time because he saved you from getting raped/kidnapped. You felt like you were about to throw up and pass out.

You heard someone calling your name and saw that it was Zade who was standing in front of you, while people who you had never seen before were suddenly inside of your house.

“Let’s go to the kitchen huh, little mouse?” You could only nod, still in a kind of haze from what happened just moments before. You didn’t know how Zade could be so collected after what happened.

He sat you on the kitchen counter before telling you to stay there for a second.

“Scream if you need anything. I’m just in the next room. I’m not leaving, little mouse.”, he told you before he left you alone with your thoughts.

Zade went to his team, instructing them on what to do with the unconscious man. He was going to take care of him later. Then he told them to clean up, leave and then find out who that bastard was. He knew they wouldn’t ask questions and he had never been this thankful for that. After they left, he went back into the kitchen.

The shock of your new stalker being dead and seeing Zade’s complete face for the first time slowly wore off. You felt a weird kind of relief at the two events, your heartbeat slowing down to somewhat normal again.

You looked into Zade’s eyes, realising that this is the first time you really saw him. Without a mask and without a filter it was just him. You could imagine him so easily, writing the letters, watching you, lusting over you. Did he even think about you that way or was it all jut a game for him? Playing this cat and mouse game with you?

You didn’t want to ask him directly though, fearing his answer. You were still sitting on the kitchen counter while he was pacing the kitchen. Neither of you said anything.

He came to a halt in front of you and stepped between your opening legs, grabbing your hands, and holding them behind your back. He was able to hold them with only one of his hands once they were behind you, so he wrapped his free hand around your throat, not pressing yet.

He just looked into your eyes for a moment, giving you the perfect opportunity to gaze into his. You saw the difference between his two eyes, but until now you never saw the mesmerizing beauty in them. His pupil was delated, and, in his eyes, you could see hunger, lust, but also the bloodlust that still lingered.

As you tried to lean forward, he tightened his hand around you neck, making it impossible for you to move. He leaned forward, almost giving you the relief, you earned for, your lips almost brushing.

“Tell me what you want, little mouse. Tell me and if you ask nicely, maybe I’ll give it to you.” You could feel every word against your lips, not even registering he waited for a reply. You direct your gaze back from his lips to his eyes.

You thought about it for a second. What did you want? Well, if was clear that you wanted him, but how? Just physically or do you want to be in a relationship with him? Both of you knew that there was a lot to talk about, but you settled on one answer for now.

“I want you to touch me. I want you to fuck me, to wreck me, to ruin me. I want you to make me yours, Zade.”, you have never said something that felt so right. At saying his name, you could feel a growl against your lips.

“Please, Zade.”, you whispered against his lips, before they finally met yours.

You’ve always imagined what it felt like to kiss him, now actually doing it felt surreal. He kissed with purpose, like he knew exactly what he wanted and how to get it. And it felt fucking amazing. You soon found the perfect rhythm. You ached to touch him, but he still held your hands.

You tried to pull your head away from him, but to no avail. He was having a tight grip on you and at feeling your resistance only gripped tighter and deepened the kiss, forcing his tongue into your mouth, earning a needy moan from you.

He pulls away to breath for a moment, thinking about his next move. Meanwhile, you had time to stammer out “Please let me touch you.”

He was looking at you, thinking about it for a moment. “Say it”, he told you, “Say my name.”

“Please Zade, let me touch you, let me feel you.”, you said before trying to lean forward again. He loosened his hold on you, letting you lean forward and start kissing his neck.

He let go of your hands and pressed himself against you, pressing his growing bulge against your clothed cunt. You let your hands roam his hard muscles and over his arms while you kept on kissing his neck. You could hear his breathing getting laboured and silent moans rolling over his lips here and there.

He quickly grew impatient with your teasing and took your face into his hands, indulging you into a passionate kiss again. Your lips moved against each other like they were made for each other, falling back into rhythm almost immediately.

But Zade knew the first time with you would definitely not happen on a kitchen counter, still he was too impatient to move the two of you to the bedroom, so he improvised.

He put his hands on your hips and picked you up like you were a bag of feathers. You quickly wrapped your hand around his neck, not breaking the kiss once during the move.

He pulled out one of the chairs and took a seat, before placing you on the kitchen table. He broke the kiss, pressing your torso down and spreading your legs so he was face to face with your pussy.

You were still wearing the clothes from before, a relaces off the shoulder jumper with a pair of mom jeans which accentuated your ass very nicely. Even though in Zade’s eyes you looked good in everything, he thought you looked even better with nothing on.

He was too impatient to properly undress you, so he reached into his suit jacket and pulled out the knife from earlier.

“Remember this, little mouse?”, he asked in an almost mocking way before standing up. You gasped at the sight of the knife that had just moments ago brought a man to his knees. He leaned over you and started to cut open your clothing, grazing the cold tip of the knife against your warm skin with every slit, making goosebumps rise all over your body and wetness pooling between your thighs.

The awareness of how easy it would be for him to slice through your skin was dizzying. And he knew exactly what he was doing to you. He carefully sliced open your jumper, before moving down your body to your jeans.

He opened your fly before starting to slice down right in the middle of it, looking almost scary while doing so. You could see how he got lost in the moment. After slicing down your front, he sliced down the legs of your jeans. Your clothing was falling to the side and only your underwear remained.

He looked at you like you were the first women he ever saw in his life. You didn’t wear anything special, hell your bra and panties didn’t even match the slightest, but you still looked like the finest five course meal to him.

He just stood there for a few moments admiring you. The curve of your breasts, the valley of your stomach, the way your thighs pressed together. He knew that from this day on he was the only one who’s going to see that perfect body of yours.

He put the knife on the table for a moment to grope your breasts with both hands, giving them a good squeeze. You let out a loud moan which only seemed to spur him more on. He squeezed harder, almost crossing the line between pain and pleasure. He massaged your breasts a bit more, before putting his hands on your waist and giving your still clothed boobs a few kisses. The feeling of his hot breath against you was definitely doing something to you.

He pulled down the cups of the bra, peppering soft kisses over your now naked breasts, even leaving a few hickeys here and there. He pulled away and straightened up, taking the knife back into his hands.

He sliced open your bra before caressing your skin with the blade again. He took his time with it, waiting to see how you react to every movement of him, staying a bit longer at the places where your breath hitches or you let one of your delicious sounding moans slip. He was getting more and more aroused by the second.

After he decided he tortured enough (for now), he took the knife to your panties and sliced right through them, earning a gasp from you.

He took a seat at the table, grabbed your legs, and pulled you to the edge, before throwing them over his shoulder.

He started to kiss along your thighs, leaving the place where you needed him most untouched. He left a few hickeys along your thighs before finally coming closer to your glistening pussy. He admired you mostly in silence so far but couldn’t keep quiet anymore at the sight that you have presented him with.

“What made you so wet huh, little mouse? Was it my kisses, my caresses, my knife gliding along your skin or the sight of me killing that fucker who thought he was better than me? Tell me, be a good girl for me?”, his words aroused you even more. You couldn’t even answer him, taking too long to process his question in the haze you were in.  

“Answer me when I ask you something, little mouse.”, he told you more demanding now.

“Every- Everything.”, you managed to stammer out. “Everything about you turns me on. You- fuck you make me so wet.”

“Already this dumb? I didn’t even play with that sweet little pussy yet. How are you going to react when I fuck you until you are unconscious on my cock, huh little mouse?”, he asked you in mock concern before chuckling. You could do nothing but moan at his filthy words. Your pussy was clenching around nothing, waiting to be filled by the man in front of you.  

He decided to have some mercy on you and went back to your cunt. His warm breath against you let a shiver run down your spine. He placed a few wet open mouth kisses to your cunt, receiving needy moans from you.

Finally, he licked a long stripe down your pussy before caressing your clit with tight circles, making you cry out his name. His name on your lips seemed to spur him on even more, as he entered your tight hole with one of his fingers, pumping into you at a steady rhythm.

It all felt so good, almost too good. Finally having the relief, you earned for since that very first letter. He was moving against you like it was the thing he was destined to be doing. You had never felt like this with another man, and you were sure that smug bastard new that.e waHe

He slowly added another finger, making your back arch. You were coming dangerously close to the edge. 

Zade could feel your pussy clenching around his fingers. He knew you needed that relief, but he wasn’t going to give it to you just yet. When he knew you were right on the edge, he pulled out his fingers and removed his head from in-between your legs. You whined at the loss, a tear rolling down your reddened cheek.

“Please, Zade. I need you. I was so close. Fuck.”, you almost sobbed out.

“You really thought I’ll just let you orgasm? I wouldn’t have thought you were that naïve, little mouse.”, he spoke to you again in a mocking voice.

You leaned up on your shaking hands to look into his eyes, when another tear rolled down your cheek. “Please.”

“Don’t worry, little mouse. You’ll get you relief and it’ll be the best orgasm you ever had.”, he assured you with a dark edge in his tone.

He gripped your waist and lifted you up, pressing your naked body against his still clothed one. You quickly wrapped your shaky legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, peppering kisses along his jawline and face.

He carried you to your bedroom. Of course, he knew exactly where it was, having placed quite a few notes there in the past. He put you on the floor, steadying your waist in case your legs wouldn’t hold you. He suddenly looked very serious. “Little mouse, do you trust me?”

He could see the hesitation in your eyes. Of course, you trusted him, especially after he almost killed someone for you. But there was still some doubt in you, especially about his feelings for you. You didn’t even realise you hadn’t answered him.

“What do you want me to do to prove to you that you can trust me? Do you want me to kneel in front of you? Because I’ll go on my fucking knees for you, if that’s what it takes, little mouse. I promise you can trust me.”

At the thought of this powerful man on his knees in front of you, you felt another flood of wetness rush between your thighs. Even though you still didn’t know how he felt about you, you felt a little more comfortable.

“Yes, Zade”, you answered him “I trust you.”

That was all it took. He removed his hands from your waist and put one of them on your shoulder, pressing you down so you were on your knees in front of him.

“Take out my cock little mouse.”, he commanded before adding, “and then put your hands behind your back.”

You immediately got to work. You opened his belt, not bothering to pull it out, letting the belt buckle hang to the side. You opened the button and then pulled down the zipper, grazing Zade’s hard dick and making him moan. You put your hand into his boxers and pulled out his rock-hard cock.

He was huge, probably about 10 inches long and thick. Your mouth watered at the thought of tasting him and feeling him inside you. That dick was definitely going to stretch you to your limits. You could see a drop of precum escaping the tip, running along his thick shaft.

You looked up at Zade who was looking at you with a hunger you had never seen at anyone.

“No need to be shy, little mouse. Be a good girl for daddy and suck my cock.”

You leaned forward, your hands behind your back, and took his tip into your mouth, gently sucking it. You could taste his sweet precum, making you moan. You swirled your tongue around his tip before slowly taking him deeper, tracing his prominent veins with your tongue.

Zade was growling above you, mesmerized by the sight of you sucking his cock. It felt so good, finally feeling you around his length after he imagined it for so long. He came so hard thinking about you in this exact position and now having you there, bobbing along his cock felt unreal.

You were going up and down on him now, struggling to take him completely. Zade thought that you had enough time to explore him now. He put his hand on the back of your head and started to fuck your face. He started off slowly but then started fucking your face like it had seriously wronged him.

You were gagging on his cock, tears streaming down your face while you could just sit there and take it. Zade’s face was twisted with please, sinful moans falling from his perfect lips. He cupped your face with his free hand, not slowing his pace. He built a steady rhythm, using your mouth and throat the way he liked.

You could feel yourself getting wetter at the sounds he was making. Knowing that you were the one bringing him so much pleasure turned you on to no end. You were moaning around his cock, making shivers run down your spine.

“You’re such a good girl for me. You take my cock so well, so pretty in front of my knees, drooling and crying. I could fuck your beautiful face forever.” His words were bringing you closer to the edge, but you resisted coming. You knew he was close to, feeling his length twitch in your mouth. You wanted to make him cum, so you started to move your head against his length, giving him everything you had.

“That’s it, little mouse. You feel so good, I’m so close. I know you want it too, want to swallow all my cum. Go on, touch that needy pussy. I want you to cum, chocking on my cock with your hands inside that cunt. Do it.”, he ordered. leaving no room for discussion. You immediately removed your hands from behind your back and started touching yourself, playing with your clit and pumping in and out of you with two fingers. It didn’t feel as good as Zade, but it was enough to send you close to the edge.

“Cum now, little mouse. Be a good girl and I’ll fill you with my cum.” His words sent you over the edge. You chocked on his cock while cumming, sending him over the edge. he spurted his cum down your throat, not halting his movements until he had stopped.

He pulled out of your mouth, admiring your face. Tears streaming down your face, smudging your mascara. Drool running down your chin, your cheeks were red. He had never seen someone who looked that beautiful. He gave you a few moments to catch your breath and waited for you to look at him again. When he saw that stunning little smile on your face, he knew he could continue.

He hoisted you up by the arms and threw you onto the bed, earning a surprised yelp from you. Your legs spread automatically for him, and he admired your glistening pussy before undressing himself. He took off his jacket, loosened his tie, unbuttoned his shirt, pulled down his pants and stepped out of him.

Now that he was just in his boxers you had some time to admire him. He was built like a Greek god, taut muscles everywhere and his cock, now erect again, stood tall and reached his belly button without effort. He looked even better than you imagined.

Zade saw you starring and cockily flexed his muscles for you, turning around and showing you his muscular back, making you giggle. It was good that his back was turned to you, because your giggle made his face soften. He never thought he would hear you genuinely laugh because of him, but here you were.

He turned around again and rid himself of his boxers, before climbing on top of you, covering your body with his. He leaned down and kissed you with a passion that wasn’t there before. The kiss grew heated quite fast, and you could feel his hard cock against your thigh.

You pulled away. “Please fuck me, Zade. Ruin me, make me yours.”, you almost begged as you spread your legs further.

Zade gladly fulfilled your wish and put one of his hands next to your head for leverage and used the other one to guide his cock to your entrance.

He aligned his fat tip with your gaping hole and entered you in one swift motion. You screamed out at the feeling of him stretching you out. The moment he was fully inside of you, Zade’s hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing you.

He didn’t give you much time to adjust to his size but bottomed out completely before filling you up again. He started to thrust into you at a relentless paste, using you like a fuck toy.

You loved it.

Admittedly, it was a lot but it also felt so good. He fucked you hard, the hand around your neck, cutting off some of your oxygen only made it so much more pleasurable.

“Fuck, you feel so good wrapped around my cock, my good girl. I can feel you squeezing me every time I’m tightening my grip around that pretty neck. Is that what you wanted, little mouse when you told me to use you? To ruin you?”

“Y- Yes.”, you breathed out.

“Yes, what?”, he asked you with that cocky grin reappearing on his face. “Y- Yes, daddy.”, you answered him before letting out another moan at the way he talked to you.

“Good girl”, he praised you before tightening his grip and fucking you harder. He leaned down and kissed you breathless, tasting himself on your tongue.

You could feel his thrusts getting sloppy and the heat in your belly growing. You knew you were both close.

“P- Please.”, you stammered out. He loosened the grip on your neck for a moment. “Please what, little mouse?”

“Please cum in me, daddy. Please, I want to cum with you.”, you begged, more tears falling from your eyes.

“Such a good girl asking permission to cum. Cum with me, little mouse. I want to feel you milking my cock. I want to pump you full of my cum. Cum for me. Now.”

His words sent you over the edge. He tightened his grip around your throat, and you screamed out, your pussy clenching around his length. He came with a shout of your name but didn’t halt his movements.

You could feel him spurting thick ropes of cum into your pussy, fucking his cum deeper inside of you. He didn’t stop until the both of you had come down. He came to a halt inside of you, removing his hand from your neck, admiring the already forming bruise in the shape of his hand.

He reluctantly pulled out of you, watching his cum drip out of you. He pushed some of it back inside of you with his fingers, penetrating your already overstimulated pussy. He placed one last kiss on your clit before getting up from the bed and putting on his boxers again.

For a moment you feared that he would get dressed again and leave you alone. That he would maybe go back to just stalking you, but you relaxed again when he went to the bathroom. He reappeared with a damp cloth and body lotion.

He cleaned you up, being careful not to be too harsh on you. Then he took some of the lotion and started to massage your body. He started with your neck, where he applied some of the cream over your bruises and then worked along your body, relieving your stress. He looked concentrated as he worked his skilled hands over your body and made you feel the safest you ever had been.

After you slightly came back to yourself, he stopped massaging you and looked into your eyes with a feeling you couldn’t really place.

“Are you alight, little mouse?”, he asked.

“Yea- Yeah, I’m fine, more than fine actually.”, you answered with a hoarse voice, already feeling the effect of your rough fucking.

“If I am being honest with you, I imagined my first time fucking you a little bit different. And under of course under different circumstances.” His confession made you smile, though that smile faltered again after a moment. Zade looked at you concerned and was about to ask you if you were alright before you asked with a small voice.

“Are you going to leave me now?” The expression on your face made Zade’s heart break a little. His face grew cold again before he answered.

“I’m never going to leave you, little mouse. You’re mine now. Forever”

a/n: thank you for reading, i hope you liked it! please leave some notes: likes, reblogs and comments. feedback is always ver appreciated! please also consider supporting me on ao3 @ softestqueeen

taglist: @silvermagnolias @milywatermelon @BigBananaa

[elizabethsnuts]

Birthday Surprise

Aaron Hotchner x Daughter!Reader

Summary: Emily and JJ help you and Jack put together a surprise birthday for your dad.

———

The kitchen was an absolute mess, with flour all around the counter, frosting sticking to every surface in the form of child handprints, and the very obvious one too many failed cracked eggs that you insisted you needed to crack.

You stood in the kitchen with Jack, JJ and Emily, the four of you very busy making a big birthday surprise for Hotch when he came back from work. You watched as JJ stirred the icing with her spoon, mesmerised as it moved around the bowl and smoothed out.

“I try?” You asked JJ with excitement in your voice, you loved being a big helper in the surprise birthday for your daddy.

JJ nodded and smiled. “Of course you can, honey.” She picked you up, setting you on the stepping stool so you could reach the counter and stir the icing.

Jack was helping Emily with the streamers and balloons, he was having the best time throwing them all everywhere while Emily did the hard work blowing the balloons up.

Emily looked over at Jack and smiled. “Hey, bud, why don’t you go and work on the banner? It needs its finishing touches!”

Jack nodded quickly in agreement. “Yeah! I’ll put more of N/Ns glitter!”

You quickly looked up at JJ when you heard the word glitter. You loved glitter, you had glitter covering you from your recent arts and crafts on the banner. “Glitter?” You asked with a smirky smile.

JJ laughed slightly, taking in the mess of you. The little apron covered in flour, your cute little face with icing smeared on it, and of course the glitter in your hair, your face and your clothes. “I don’t think we need any more glitter, I think we’ve got enough.”

You just sighed and continued stirring the icing. “Glitter.” No one could tell if you liked glitter because it was shiny and pretty or if you just loved making messes, the guess was usually both.

Eventually, the cake was done and Emily and JJ had to keep you away from the kitchen before you could dip your little fingers into it, they knew you wouldn’t be able to resist that urge.

“Cake lonely.” You pointed to the cake sitting in the kitchen, you wanted a way in there.

Emily shook her head and laughed. “The cake is not lonely, it’s got the icing and all the toppings there for friends. Your dad will be home soon and look! We’ve finished everything on time!” Emily smiled and ruffled your now glitter-free hair.

“Y/N you can’t eat the cake until Daddy gets home!” Jack laughed and chucked his stuffed bear at you which earned a laugh from your little mouth.

When Hotch arrived home, he definitely did get surprised. You all popped up in excitement, yelling Happy Birthday, the house littered with streamers and balloons, and a big banner that said ‘Happy Birthday Daddy!’ in big bold letters, hung from the ceiling.

“Happy birthday Daddy!” You squealed loudly and ran over, hugging him tight and showing him a card you’d made just for him. “For you, for you!”

Aaron smiled a little wider at the sight of the surprise. “You guys surprised me so well!” He chuckled and looked at your card. It was covered in paint, pen drawings, random buttons and tape but most of all, glitter. “Wow Y/N this is just an absolutely gorgeous card you’ve made for me.”

You smiled widely and nodded. “Daddy, you like, you like?” You jumped up and down excitedly, you were so excited to give him your card.

“Do I like it? Y/N I love it! I’m going to keep it for forever.” Aaron smiled and hugged you tightly.

By the time the cake rolled around, you were jumping around the place. You needed that cake in your belly right at that moment. You watched your daddy closely as he cut the cake and got the first slice.

You took this as your cue to get some now as Aaron had taken some. You quickly realised you couldn’t have the knife so you resorted to your hands, grabbing a chunk and shoving it in your mouth.

“Good cake!” You cheered and jumped around the house. Aaron knew the sugar rush he’d have to deal with later but he’d just enjoy the moment now.

Aaron hugged both you and Jack close, grateful for his two loving children. With Haley not around anymore, he couldn’t be more appreciative of Emily and JJ who stepped up and made sure that you and Jack could give him the best birthday ever.

[trsrina]

not-so secret admirer h. yujin

your friends think you have a secret admirer but little did they know, all those anonymously given gifts left on your desk every morning are from none other than your secret boyfriend.

written in second person pov, gn reader, fluff, established relationship, high school au, requested !! mentions of food

“ha! it’s here again! i told you it wouldn’t be a one-time thing,” a paper bag labelled with the logo of the bakery near your school sits there on your desk with a mini heart-shaped letter clipped to it.

it was still quite early in the morning as the clock ticks half-past seven, most desks empty with the exception of a few school bags messily littered on the floor.

you smile unknowingly upon being embraced with the warm gift.

“open it! open it! this is so sweet! this whole secret admirer thing is straight out of a kdrama,” your friend jumps up and down excitedly by your side as she waits for you to unveil the gift.

“okay, okay, calm down. why are you even more giddy about this than me?” you chuckle as you delicately take the letter and hold it close to your chest as you read it secretively.

“hey! let me see it too,” she tries to peek at the handwritten letter as you hold it closely to your heart, scanning through every messily written word on the thin piece of paper.

it wrote, ‘good morning. i got this for you on my way to school. please eat it while it’s hot. i hope you like it xoxo,’ signed off with the single letter ‘h’.

the letter was snatched away from your hands before you could properly process it and soon, your ears were attacked with a dolphin-like squeal.

“oh my god, you lucky bastard! you bagged a green flag,” your friend pretended to be jealous of you as she pout and softly hit your shoulder, returning the heartfelt letter to you as you unwrapped the paper bag to be met with the sweet aroma of the strawberry flavoured dessert, warmth still radiating from the pastry, fresh out of the oven.

“he’s just a secret admirer. i haven’t technically ‘bagged’ him or anything. i mean i probably don’t even know him,” you playfully bumped your shoulder against hers.

however, while your friend was too busy in her little world fantasising about all the possibilities of your love life, you knowingly grin to yourself and internally gushed over the boy who just so seems to be the culprit.

“han yujin, what has gotten into you?” you murmured to yourself and shook your head as the morning bell rings.

after an eternity of sitting through your morning classes, lunch started and so, you and your mini friend group gathered at the halls to get lunch together at the cafeteria.

it consisted of a few friends you’ve made last year in your old class, now all having been separated in the new school year.

said friend group also included han yujin, the very boy who you fell for last summer and has since been secretly dating throughout the summer.

upon making eye contact with him as you all walk up to each other, your other friend from another class enthusiastically skipping up to you to sling an arm around your shoulders, the both of you bashfully offer a small smile to each other and hide the pink hue decorating your cheeks, looking down and avoiding eye contact.

with the rest of you friends walking up ahead and chattering away, passionately rambling on about how boring classes were, yujin sneakily took the place by your side and walked right next to you.

“hey, did you like the little gift i left for you this morning?”

you softly beamed at him, trying your best to hold back the grin peeking on your face, “thank you, yujin. i really liked it but you really don’t have to do this every day.”

“hmm, i’ll think about it,” his eyes finally looked into yours, lovestruck and just so in love, you were surprised your friends didn’t notice you two making heart eyes at each other yet.

mesmerised by the way his gaze lingered on you, you drifted away from the conversations of your friends.

you both sneaked glances at each other, looking into each others’ eyes for a millisecond before looking away. your hands did the same too, swinging by your sides and gently bumping into each other, the back of your hands touching for a millisecond and then pulling away only to do the same once again.

your newly blossomed relationship didn’t start long ago so you were both still quite shy.

setting down your plates on your table, yujin speed-walked over to your side and raced your friend to sit on your left, they only side-eyed him and snickered as they sat on your right instead, letting him have his way with a snarky smile on his face.

as soon as everyone was seated and started digging in, you felt warmth enveloping your left hand that was placed in your lap, a larger hand interlocking their fingers with yours, the intertwined hands resting on your thigh.

you almost spit out your rice upon feeling yujin boldly taking your hand in his and immediately turn your head to look him in the eye.

your wide eyed gaze meets his smiling ones, innocently grinning at you and holding in his giggles.

calming yourself down, you turn back to your previously neglected plate and continue digging in.

however, your heart still beats at 100 km/h and the pumping in your chest distracts you from the conversation of your friends.

“why is your face so red? are you alright?”

the look on your face resembles that of a deer caught in headlights, eyes shot wide open as you face the concerned gazes of your friends.

“i’m fine! it’s just a little hot in here, you know. um, let me just go get a cold drink from the vending machine real quick, bye,”

you untangle your hand from yujin’s in a rush and your chair screeches as you push it back to stand up, and you speed walk out of the cafeteria.

“it’s 2°C?” your friend questioned as you left.

reaching the vending machines area, you let out a sigh and lean on the wall near the vending machine, hand resting on your heart to feel your pacing heartbeat.

“what is wrong with you,” you speak to yourself in the empty area as your head hangs low with the lights of the vending machine reflecting off of you.

hearing footsteps nearing the area, you immediately regained your composure and tensed up.

“hey. are you okay?” it was yujin.

“yujin? why are you here? go back before they get suspicious.” your words were cut off when yujin walked closer to you, the proximity taking your breath away.

“relax. don’t worry about them for now. it kills me that i can’t be close to you when i haven’t seen you for so long.”

“it has only been a few hours, yujin,” you chuckled as he pouted at you. his hands grabbing yours.

your head tilted up to face him and his tipped down to get closer to you, lips simply hovering over each others’. “but i still miss you,” he mumbled.

you felt the air from his mouth when he spoke hit your lips, reminding you of the close proximity between the both of you. and so, yujin made a move and leaned in, eyes closed, your eyes closing too in response.

you could feel the warmth from his face transport to yours, his hand creeping up your arm to hold your chin, thumb gently grazing your flushed cheeks, you both leaned in closer and- clack!

your heads swiftly turned to the source of the sound, snapped out of your trance, only to be met with the surprised look of your friends, eyes wide open and jaws dropped, speechless at the sight of two of their friends having such an intimate moment.

the sound came from your friend dropping her belongings on the floor due to the shock and honestly, you could not blame her nor the rest of your friends for the dramatic reaction.

you and yujin exchanged awkward glances after taking a look at your frozen friends, yujin nodded his head at you as if giving you approval.

“um, well, surprise?”

i am so so sorry this took so long to write i hope you like it and this is my first work after my very long hiatus so hopefully my writing didn’t get too bad 😨

[yyokkki]

Dire Crowley

The mayor of NRV! 

He’s always giving you quests to complete while you’re at NRV claiming he’s too busy to get it done himself but his daily schedule consists of just walking around town doing daily ‘check ups’ on the businesses.

Dubs you a beast master after you gain three hearts with more than two villagers. He says nobody is able to acclimate themselves with the townsfolk so quickly!

He may or may not have been scared off by the scarecrows in your farm once or twice.

Is a total suck up to Governor Ambrose the 63rd but shit talks him behind his back. He plans to overthrow him one day but it’s not looking bright…

Absolutely hates the city and the new Royal Sword Mart that opened in town.

You basically get tasks weekly from him. Don’t worry the rewards are generous as he is a very gracious man~

Loved Gifts: Any Gems, Glass Shards, Gold, Meat, Universal Loves

“How generous of you, farmer! It seems my graciousness has rubbed off on you~”

Hated Gifts: Royal Sword Cola, Any Spicy Foods, Hot Pepper, Universal Hates

“Boohoo! Despite all my generosity and graciousness! How could you give me something so vile!!"

Divus Crewel

The local scientist! I’m not going into his specific field but he does a lot of experiments on the geography and ecosystems of the valley.

He also seems well versed in Chemistry as he regularly supervises Trey and Rook as they do their experiments too. (He’s afraid the pups are gonna injure themselves)

He owns a cool classic car that doesn’t work anymore after years of not travelling out of NRV. He grieves about it a lot.(The junimos fix it and he chaperones you over to the desert!)

His hobby is fashion design and he has a room in his house fully decked out with sewing machines, mannequins and the like.

He keeps a very good dalmatian named Spot at home. He is the most spoiled boy in town.

Occasionally visits the library to play chess with Trein but it usually ends with some kind of argument…

He’s the one who offers to set up a fruit bat/mushroom cave for you! (He may or may not have inspired Jade)

Loved Gifts: Raisin Butter, Wine, Cloth, Dye Materials, Universal Loves

“Good pup! This is a great gift.”

For Cloth and Dye Materials: “Might as well make you something with this… Especially considering your current attire.”

Hated Gifts: Universal Hates

“Bad pup! What is the meaning of this?!”

Mozus Trein

The librarian and teacher!

He holds classes for the kids twice a week but when he’s not a teacher he looks over the library with his cat, Lucius, whom the kids (and Idia) absolutely adore!

He’s quite strict with the manners and knowledge of the young people in town so it’s always a shock to see him so patient and gentle with the kids.

He has grown daughters who are currently working in the city! He regularly pens letters to them and sends over care packages. They come to visit him often too!

He finds it absolutely unacceptable how barren the library in town is and finds lost books more important than artifacts, though he thinks they’re a valuable educational tool as well.

Loved Gifts: Duck Feather, Vichyssoise, Tuna, Leek, Universal Loves

“This is a good gift, farmer. Thank you.”

For Duck Feather and Tuna: “Lucius will enjoy this, I thank you on his behalf.”

Hated Gifts: Universal Hates

“Ugh. How distasteful.”

Ashton Vargas

The town blacksmith!

Honestly? Might’ve become a blacksmith so he could work his arms out… He’s off every Thursday for leg day!

He encourages everyone in town to work out more! Certain townsfolk avoid him because of this.

Approves of you since farming requires a lot of physical labour! Actually offers to help you out with heavy lifting too.

He lives off of the forests too, he hunts and grows his own harvests! 

He has a few chickens too for sustainable egg supply.

Probably one of the nicest villagers if you ignore his gloating!

Loved Gifts: All Eggs, Beer, Universal Loves

“Thanks! Why don’t you drop by later for some weight training? I’ll tell you all of my tips!”

Hated Gifts: Universal Hates

“I hate this stuff!”

Sam

Owner of the general store!

Not much is known about him but he has lots of friends on the other side! (They’re the travelling cart merchants cooperating with him to sell out of season products)

He sells absolutely everything! Except for other shops products since he doesn’t wanna stir up the competition!

The general store has another branch in the city too!

Loved Gifts: Chicken Gumbo, Void Essence, Universal Loves

“Daw, thanks little imp! Now, don’t go thinkin’ this’ll get you a discount~”

Hated Gifts: Solar Essence (His friends hate this stuff), Universal Hates

“Hate to break it to ya, but I have a million of these in the back… You can keep it!”

Grim

The sewer rat? Basically the Krobus of this universe because it was between him and your farm companion! I mean c’mon you can even have him move in with you after you become good friends! He’s the true route fr.

Wants to live on the surface but that bird brained mayor won’t let him! So now he sells random stuff he found in the sewers to you…

He does sneak out pretty often though, it’s how you found him pretty early on.

The poor boy, get him some tuna. It blows his mind the first time he tries it. (He’s been living off of radioactive fish, he’s fine though)

Actually starts living with you even if you’re pursuing a bachelor as soon as he hits ten hearts.

He constantly complains about your other furry companion though…

It’s probably harder to give him a gift he hates since he’ll eat about everything. (Yes he eats all your gifts)

He wants to overthrow Crowley and become the mayor of town! He never succeeds. (He thinks mayor is the highest position in the whole world because it’s all he knows)

Loved Gifts: Tuna, Stone, Any Gem, Universal Loves

“Funa! You’re the best henchuman!!  I was feeling a little hungry!”

Hated Gifts: Universal Hates (Except clay maybe? Feels like he’d eat that too…)

“EW! This is worse than that time you called me a raccoon!”

---

TWST x SDV Masterlist

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[ladylilith]

(Play the song when the orange letter appears or just have it in the loop while you read)

Paper Moon

9:07 p.m.

Fifth day without hearing from him.

Since your last argument, silence had settled between you two, impenetrable. Neither of you dared to break it.

You couldn’t even remember how you got to that point. You never argued... at least, not until now.

It all started when you went to his room, needing to rid yourself of the lump in your throat. Another disappointment in love. Another failed attempt at connecting with someone.

You were exhausted from stumbling around, searching for someone who made you feel understood and loved. Was it really that complicated? Everyone else seemed to have found it, except you.

Although, deep down, you knew that wasn’t true. You had found it... it just wasn’t mutual.

“Don’t you think you should take a break? Stop meeting new people?” he said as he hugged you.

But this time, he seemed tired of the cycle you were trapped in.

“If I stop, I’ll never move forward,” you replied, feeling yourself spiral deeper into negativity.

You had never told Chan how you felt about him. Your friendship meant too much to risk it over feelings you knew weren’t mutual.

“Move forward from what? What’s holding you back?” he asked, his tone harder than usual.

“You wouldn’t understand,” you answered, tired of feeling this way.

Chan must have taken that last comment badly. After that, he dropped you off at home, and you hadn’t heard from him since that day.

Until now.

You entered the JYP building with a bag of food and drinks, showed your ID, and headed up in the elevator. Your hands trembled with uncertainty as you pressed the button for the studio, hoping, as always, that you’d find him there.

Stepping out of the elevator, you saw a sliver of light escaping from under the door. You took a deep breath, relieved that you hadn’t been mistaken.

Carefully, you opened the door without making a sound, hearing the melody of a guitar you didn’t recognize, accompanied by Chan’s voice.

We were talking in the dark skies

About how people change

You told me that you’ve never found a love

That stayed the same

Quietly, you placed the bag of food on the table next to the sofa and turned your attention to the figure inside the booth, focusing on the lyrics of the song.

You asked me what I was thinking

What I was holding in

I told you that I never wanted to end up like they did

A shiver ran down your spine, and you realized just how much you had missed his voice.

They say looking in the stars when they last saw the moon

Well that’s just a little too far or a little untrue

I hope it’s enough, it’s the best I can do

I can’t reach the real one so I’ll make you

A paper moon

A paper moon? Was he singing about your last conversation?

“Am I asking for too much? I don’t need someone to give me the moon, just someone I can trust,” you had said through tears.

"You deserve the whole universe,” Chan replied, kissing your forehead.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you approached the door to the booth, feeling your heart race with every step.

Chan noticed your presence and looked in your direction, surprised, as he took off his headphones, the melody still playing in the background.

“Uh-hey, what are you doing here? Did something happen?” he asked, concern lacing his voice.

“I came because we haven’t talked in days,” you replied, your hands tingling with the urge to reach out to him.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve been a bit busy lately,” he said, glancing at the sheet full of scribbles in front of him.

“Are you sure that’s all it is?” you asked, taking a step closer.

Chan gripped the stand beside him, and you noticed how his hands trembled slightly.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” he asked, avoiding your gaze.

“I miss you, Chan,” you said, taking another step forward.

“I’m right here,” he replied, this time meeting your eyes.

“I know, you always are, always,” you said, looking down and smiling. “Is the song new?” you asked, trying to read the scribbles on the paper.

Chan looked at the sheet in front of him, and you noticed doubt flicker in his eyes.

“Yes… well, it’s something I’m working on.”

“Can I listen to it?” you asked nervously, afraid he might say no.

“Sure, go outside and play the track again.”

You walked out to the room with his computer, sat down in front of it, and pressed the button to play the track again.

You listened intently to the part of the song he was singing when you arrived, absorbing every detail of the lyrics.

You can hang it on your ceiling

Or keep it by the door

I know it doesn’t shine as bright at night

But it’s all yours

Your heart ached as you thought about how the lyrics mirrored your feelings for him, how he had always had your heart, to do with it as he pleased.

I promise that I’ll love you

And it’s a promise I can keep

I hope you always feel the most at home

When you’re with me

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you thought about how he had always been your refuge, the place you went to when the world felt like too much.

The song continued until the last notes played out.

Chan left the recording booth and approached your table. You watched him as he slowly walked toward you, trying to wipe away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling.

"Are you okay?” he asked, crouching down to be at your level. “I guess you liked it,” he added, trying to dry your cheeks with his hands.

“What were you thinking about when you wrote it?”you whispered, your voice breaking.

“Our last conversation,” he said, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “It kills me to think you feel like you don’t deserve someone to give you the moon just because you ask for it,” he sighed. “You deserve that and so much more.”

You looked into Chan’s eyes, finding a gaze filled with everything you had been feeling for years.

Without fear of what might happen after saying the words, you decided to be honest, ready to risk everything.

“I think I already have someone who would do that for me,” you said, looking directly into his eyes. “And for whom I’d do the same.”

Chan stared at you, absorbing the weight of your words.

You felt his hand gently caress your cheek, slowly tracing the line of your jaw.

You leaned closer to him, feeling his breath against yours.

“Chan…” you whispered, resting your forehead against his. “It’s always been you,” you said, raising your trembling hand to his neck, feeling his pulse quicken with every touch.

“I thought you didn’t feel the same, that I could never have you, and that I’d have to settle for watching you from afar,” he said, his voice filled with sadness. “Our last conversation made me decide to distance myself, afraid I couldn’t hold it back any longer.”

You placed your hand on his cheek, feeling the dampness left by his tears.

“I was just trying to find someone to help me get over the fact that you would never feel the same,” you said, sighing. “I’m sorry for hurting you, Chan…”

“Don’t be,” he said, and you watched a smile form on his face. “I’m just glad you didn’t find them.”

“I did, you were always by my side.”

[kisskiss-slashslash]

Slashers when their S/O is crying

Jason Voorhees

Jason first notices how eerily quiet it is when he comes home to the little shack you both live in. Normally you come out to greet him as soon as you hear him come in, so he is pretty alarmed.

He finds you sitting next to your bed, wrapped up in blankets and with reddened eyes.

His immediate reaction is anger; not at you but at who- or whatever caused you to be in this state. He kneels down in front of you and cups your face with both hands to make you look at him. You give him a shakey smile.

“Oh, hi, Jason. I didn’t hear you come home.” You pull the blankets around you even tighter. “Don’t worry, I’m fine. Just having a really bad brain day, that’s all.”

He sits down next to you and pulls you onto his lap, so you can curl up against him. And he will not let you go until you’re feeling better.

Freddy Krueger

Freddy doesn’t mind you sleeping more than usual, after all, the more you sleep, the more time he gets with you. But even he notices that the time you spend sleeping is getting pretty excessive. And even worse, when you pop up in his realm, you look like a complete mess. Your eyes are red, you walk around like a zombie and are obviously dealing with a very stubborn runny nose.

“Who do I need to kill?”, he asks, all business. He isn’t really the type to offer emotional support but he is always quick to offer practical help. If that practical help is murder, at least, and really, isn’t it always?

“I just had a shitty day at work”, you reply lamely.

“Every day has been a shitty day at work for the past month or so.”

“Yeah…”

He remains quiet for a short moment. “So who do I need to kill? A coworker? Your boss?”

“You can’t solve every problem with murder, Fred.”

“I disagree.”

“Of course you do.”

“I mean”, he continues. “It’s usually not my style to go after adults, but I would make an exception if they’re messing with you. I could make it look like and accident, or a sudden heart attack in their sleep, or-”

“Fred”, you interrupt him, finding the familiar feeling of a giggle bubbling up in your chest. That son of a gun actually managed to help you forget your stress for a bit. “Thanks, but I’ll be fine.”

“Suit yourself.”

Vincent Sinclair

He somehow got it in his head that secretly drawing you would be a fantastic idea. It would be the drawing-version of candid shots. Capture you at your most natural, when you think that nobody else is watching.

What he did not expect, however, was to find you curled up on the couch, quietly sobbing to yourself.

He drops the sketchbook and pen onto the nearest table and sits down next to you.

You flinch. “Oh… Vincent.” You wipe at your eyes. “It’s nothing, don’t worry, it’s just…” You swallow the lump in your throat. “I…I was helping Lester with the roadkill pit, and we came across a deer that had just been hit, and it was still alive, and…” Your voice dies in your throat. “The poor thing looked so scared.”

Odd, really, how you could see humans die, and even help their killers, but seeing an animal in such a pitiful state is too much for you. “I don’t think Lester is gonna let me help him again anytime soon.”

Vincent lets you lean on him and gently rubs your shoulders and back to soothe you, until your sniffles slowly die down and you doze off in his arms.

Brahms Heelshire

He sees you crying through the crack in the walls, and immediately feels his protective instinct flare up. Who hurt you? Hell, who COULD hurt you? You hardly ever left the house. Had someone said something to you over the phone? Had you gotten a letter than upset you?

He says your name, in his child-like voice, which gets your attention. “Please stop crying. I don’t like it when you cry.”

You straighten up and put on a brave face. “It’s alright, Brahms, I’m fine.” You go quiet for a moment. “Brahms, you never took any letters or phonecalls meant for me, did you?”

“No”, he replies honestly. He had toyed with the idea to isolate you like that, of course, but in the end, even Brahms’ selfishness had limits.

Your eyes fill with tears once again. “Not once have any of my family or friends tried to contact me, ever since I arrived here. Do they not care about me?”

Brahms is quiet. What is he supposed to say to that? “Then…. if your family and friends don’t care about you, then I will care about you extra hard to make up for it.”

You wipe the tears away again and find yourself smiling.

Oh Brahms… Never change.

Bubba Sawyer

Unless you have been raised that way, like the Sawyers were, the ethical implications of eating human meat do occasionally catch up to you. And then you find yourself bent over the toilet, or a bucket, sobbing in between bouts of noisy vomiting.

You only notice Bubba when he starts stroking your head, and smearing the blood on his hand all over your hair in the process.

You try to somehow regain your composure, while Bubba helps you up and urges you to the nearest chair. The fact that that chair is made of human bones and decorated with even more human bones however doesn’t really help matters.

When you show no sign of calming down, Bubba panics a little. He looks around, trying to think of a way to make you feel better. Then he rushes out of the room. After a few seconds, you hear clucking, and Bubba comes back, trailing feathers and bedding from the chicken room behind him, and with his favourite chicken cradled in his arms. He carefully places the animal on your lap, urging you to hold onto it.

The chicken, quite used to being held and handled, is warm and soft. You run your fingers over its feathers, chuckling softly when it idly pecks at the sleeves of your shirt.

“Thank you, Bubsy”, you say. “Didn’t think that cuddling with a chicken was what I needed, yet here I am.” After a moment of silence, you add:”...Can you keep stroking my hair? That was nice, too.”

Bubba, of course, happily obliges.

[black-arcana]

the GazettE members says farewell to Reita

With the passing of Reita, the members of the GazettE have shared their heartfelt and heartbreaking farewells to the brightest bassist out there, Reita.

In the farewell messages, the members make mentions of the “forever” that Reita wished for, referring to Reita’s last tweet posted the day before his passing.

Reita’s last tweet: “I hope that the GazettE lasts forever”.

In our translations below, we tried to keep the messages as faithful to the original source as possible, taking into account nuances such as vocalist Ruki’s use of hiragana for “Reita” (れいた), and the other members’ use of “REITA” in capital letters, and more.

Please read every word that the members had to share.

Vocalist Ruki

I think the meaning of what [Reita] posted at the end, “I hope that the GazettE lasts forever”, is that he wanted to be able to see that amazing view from the stage in 2023—the view that he saw with his own eyes—for the rest of time. That view he saw together with you, the fans. Your happy faces. That place where all of us raised our voices together. That wonderful, irreplaceable treasure. I think that he thought it would be wonderful if that moment would last an eternity. I remember you saying that you wanted to play a show soon. “Even when I’m having a hard time, getting together with my band members like this and laughing is when I’m having the most fun”, he was the type of kind, passionate guy, who even after becoming an adult could say this with total honesty. I loved that honesty. We even joked around about taking care of our health this year, just like we did every year on our birthdays. This band will never be a 4 member thing. No matter what anyone says. You’re the only bassist for us. I know your soul is always going to be there on my right-hand side. Nobody will be able to see it, but we’ll feel it. That proof of life that you built with the GazettE will live on. That’s what I believe. That you’ll always be beside me as I keep singing, Reita. We’ll never become something that you’d hate. I don’t want to make you sad. Humans lives are finite, but I think the soul remains. Your soul will live on, in us, in me, in our fans. I want to keep playing shows that will make those I love want to come back and play, even when they’re just souls. Because all of our fans are here for us, we can create that view he wanted to see and keep him here with us forever. So please stay by my side from here on out, too. I know he’d like it best if you remembered him with a smile, and how amazing he was, instead of being sad when you see him. We’ll be more than ready to look after this band from here on out. We’ll show you that “forever” you wished for, Reita. So make sure you come down from heaven for every show, okay? We’ll always have a seat for you. Things are going to get really busy from here on out. Once we’ve settled on a schedule, I’ll contact you again.

Guitarist Uruha

To all the fans who supported REITA until now, I think he was a huge source of support for everyone, including myself. I still can’t accept that he’s not here, that we won’t be able to stand on stage together again. I think there’s going to be a lot of things I’ll come to understand slowly over time. But drowning in sorrow forever won’t let us bring his wish to see “forever” to life, and I deeply feel that I need the strength to keep moving forward from here on. I also think that the road we paved with him to get here is irreplaceable, and I think we all want to keep that alive inside of us in the future. He gave us so much, and stood by our side for so long, and now and forever, he will be one of my closest friends. Please keep all the words, the memories, and the love for everyone that he gave us in your hearts. REITA will live on in our hearts. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for always supporting the GazettE and REITA in more ways than one.

Guitarist Aoi

Out of all the things and all the work I’ve had to do with these members and our small team of staff, this is the only one I haven’t wanted to do. There was a time in the past when I considered giving up on my dream. Back then, after so many discussions, and some encouragement, the other members managed to convince me not to give up. That’s the kind of band we are, and that’s how the GazettE came to be where it is. REITA, you’re not the type of person who wishes for eternity. You’re the type who is eternal. To someone like you, I can’t say something clever like “I’ll carry the weight of your burden too”. I wanted to make more music with you, and see so much more together. No matter where or what, if it’s all 5 of us and our fans are there, it would be amazing. It’s so painful, having all these things I want to say and knowing none of them will come true. Anyway, when I make my way over there, I’m going to give you a stern talking to. You must be sad that we’re suddenly not around anymore, but just rest up until we meet again. I have a little more that I need to do on this side first. Thanks for coming all this way with us. Rest in peace.

Drummer Kai

REITA was such a huge presence to me, more than I can even know. All the words, saving me with sound, the mood maker of the band; really, I have so many truly wonderful memories of him, but most of all, his brilliant appearance when he was on stage. He was the best partner anyone could ask for in the rhythm section, truly one of a kind. That hasn’t and will not change. I want to carry his memory with me, and be more determined than ever to continue the GazettE. Lastly, to all our fans and associates who have supported us throughout these 22 years, Thank you. I want to keep running forward, all 5 of us, and hope you’ll stay with us. REITA. Rest easy. Thank you. Just like always, with everyone by our side, we’ll keep the GazettE alive. I promise. I don’t want those 22 years of yours to be wasted, and there are plenty of others who don’t either. Make sure you show your face at our shows! Let’s drink the good stuff together again sometime, okay?

We tried to get these message ready for you as soon as possible, but reading through them was extremely emotional and difficult for us.

While we understand that for most, this might not provide any real closure, but we hope you were able to grasp the sentiment and genuine emotions that the members shared.

As fans, we will continue to protect that “forever” too, Reita. Please rest assured.

[daisyblog]

Niall Horan and YN Tomlinson Take a Friendship Test

Our Story Masterlist Summary: Niall Horan and YN Tomlinson take the ultimate friendship test. From sharing their first impressions and stanning over each other to bonding over a minute-long hug and mirroring each other's sweet dance moves, these two prove that all some friendships need is lots of love and laughter. Warning: swearing

“I’m gonna ask you about your friendship with YN” A woman’s voice speaks to Niall from behind the camera. “Oh how long have ya got?” Niall sarcastically says with a small chuckle. “Who?” YN questions with a serious expression and Niall’s famous laugh is heard from behind the camera. “We met when I auditioned for The X Factor..and I was put into a band…One Direction with her brother Louis..and she came on tour with us and now we’re the best of friends” “Niall was in a band with my brother…not sure if you’ve heard of ‘em One Direction…yeah and..Niall begged me to go on tour wiv ‘em to style his hair..such a diva” YN joked whilst trying to not laugh at Niall shaking his head at her, from where he was standing behind set. “It’s because of me…she’s so famous..nothing to do with her brother or boyfriend” Niall joins in on the teasing. “Seriously now…Niall’s like a brother to me…he’s my best friend, he’s just so funny and he’s there for you no matter what and…he’s been there for me through some of my darkest times..and I’ll always be grateful to him” “YN…she’s one of the strongest people I know..even when she’s been goin’ through some tough times..she always wants to know how everyone else is and if they’re okay…she’s one in a million that girl”

Niall and YN were instructed to give each other compliments in the next part. As they're both standing opposite each other with their little notebooks and pens in their hands, Niall tries to peek at what YN is writing. “Don’t look at it” YN protests and hides her notebook away from Niall’s prying eyes. “I just wanna know how funny you’re being” Niall defends himself. “I’m not bein’ funny at all” “Yeah you fuckin’ are” Niall teases “She’s writing a massive list” Niall continues to laugh as YN flips the page over to write on another page. “I’m writin’ in big letters” “She paid me to be her friend” Niall continues with his jokes. “Yeah..yeah oh fookin’...if anyone’s payin’ anybody for anythin’..you’re givin’ me some fookin’ money” YN’s Doncaster accent is heard making Niall chuckle and continue to write on the paper in front of him. “I love your sense of humour..’cause you just laugh at everythin’ even if it’s not funny..and it makes me feel funny” YN compliments Niall.

“I like how creative you are..you’ve gone from touring with the band..to running your own business..and I’m proud of you and you should be proud of yourself” “Okay..movin’ on before I cry” YN talks “You always smell amazin’ every time I see you” “Thanks..I’ll take that one considering who you sleep next to every night smells like heaven”  Niall responds making YN laugh “I love how strong and determined you are…like most people would give up..but you just keep going and I admire you for that..so yeah” Niall compliments YN again. “Aww Niall…stoooop..you’re gonna make me cry” YN playfully scolds but inside feels her heart melt at the words spoken by her best friend “I think you’re an amazin’ songwriter…and a fookin’ boss on the guitar..and I love your music” “She’s a massive Niall fan…I’ve always been her favourite” “He’s not lyin’” YN said with a flick of her hair, causing them both to laugh. Niall and YN were instructed to hug each other for one minute in the next part.

Niall wrapped his arms around YN’s shoulder whilst her arms went around his back like they had done many of times over the years. “Oh he smells greeeat” YN’s voice is heard.

“You smell good too” “Thank you” “I like your shoes too” YN begin’s to sing ‘I like the way you talk, I like the things you wear, I want your number tattooed on my arm in ink, I swear” whilst her and Niall swayed back and forth. Niall began singing the lyrics “Watermelon sugar, high, Watermelon sugar, high, Watermelon sugar high, Watermelon sugar”. YN’s giggling is heard as the pair continue to sing together “Why that song?..Of all the songs you could have chosen” Niall and YN were instructed to mirror each other’s dance moves in the next part.

Some upbeat music was heard playing, Niall starts by pointing his hand up to the ceiling and shaking his hips slightly, and YN begins to copy his movement. Niall then abruptly points to the floor and leans down, and points back up again into his starting position. Then move his fingers in a circle around his body “This is us goin’ ‘round the world”. And after a few more arm movements, jumps to the side and begins to imitate Beyonce’s Single Ladies dance. “Your turn”. YN begins to jump around laughing and shows everyone her impression of how back up dancers dance, which Niall copies her every move whilst they laugh infectiously together “Do you know wa I mean?” she asks Niall as she continues to hop around. Next, YN decides to swing her around her head and tell Niall to “Giddy up, giddy up” as they gallop around the space. “What the fuck just ‘appened?” Niall asks as YN nudges his shoulder playfully.

“Welcome to the life of being a Tomlinson” YN defends her behaviour. Niall and YN were instructed to harmonise with each other in the next part. “Do you know what’s so annoyin’…she can actually sing so this isn’t even gonna be funny” “Ahhhhhhh” Niall and YN are heard harmonising together, before harmonising happy birthday and YN made Niall laugh. “You fucked it for me” Niall laughed.

“Nobody, nobody” YN began singing and dancing at the same time.

“Nobody can drag me down” Niall joins in, before singing his own song “Nice to meet ya” “what’s ya name, let me treat ya..to a drink” Niall and YN continue to sing together whilst clapping and waving their hands.  Niall and YN were instructed to perform trust falls in the next part “It’s called a trust fall” a woman’s voice behind the camera spoke. “Oh fook” and “Okay fuck” Niall and YN spoke at the same time. “What if I don’t catch you?” YN panicked. “Well..ya better help me up when I fall” Niall teased and laughed. Niall turned around so his back faced YN whilst she held her arms out ready to catch the brunette lad “Come one...come on I’ve got you” she reassure s him. Niall falls back gracefully and YN just about manages to hold him up for a couple of seconds “Okay..get up now before I drop ya”. YN prepares herself to fall into Niall’s arms as she turns her back to him “Don’t fookin’ drop me now Horan” “Just trust me will ya Mini Tommo” Niall uses her nickname from when she toured with the boys. YN delicately falls back into Niall’s arms as he catches her small frame easily in his arms. “Do you trust me?” Niall turns to ask YN as she stands back up. “I trust you with my whole fookin’ heart” “Aww come ‘ere ya softy” Niall teases as he pulls YN into his arms and squeezes her tight “She’s like the sister I never had”

“Horan and Tommo are in town” Niall and YN say together as they sway from side to side.

Tag List: (let me know if you would like to be added) @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats @harrysbbyh0ney fanfictioncafe lilfreakjez jerseygirlinca iamahallucinationnn

[bloatedandalone04]

Wrapped Around Your Finger - Part 0.4

Series Masterlist | Original Fic

➪in which the tour begins and though anakin is excited to be back on stage, he already misses having you there with him, and this results in him spending his last night with you by loving on you in every possible way.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 8.7k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

“I think we’ve narrowed it down to three options,” Vinny tells Helena and sits next to her, his phone in his hand as he scrolls through the Instagram pages of each potential photographer. “How’d we do?”

Helena hummed as she scrolled through the pictures. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” She teased as she paused on one of the pages. “What about this girl?”

Anakin leaned over and saw that she had the Instagram account named elizaphotography open. “She’s my first choice,” he announced before going back to writing down lyrics to a song that’s been stuck in his head all day. “I don’t know about the other guys.”

“Yeah, I liked her, as well,” Theo agrees. 

“Me too,” Helena says and hands Vinny back his phone. “So if she wasn’t your first choice, you’re outnumbered, Vin.”

Vinny scoffs as he shoves his phone into his pocket. “I chose her, too,” 

“Perfect, it’s settled,” Helena claps as she stands up. “I’ll arrange an agreement with her and get her signed onto the tour, which is two days away, if you weren’t aware.”

Anakin felt his heart skip a beat at that. 

Two more days with you at home, then another day stuck on the bus.

He really wanted you with him the whole time, but he also wasn’t about to go back on his words and ask you to give up a great career opportunity just so you can watch him from backstage. “We’re aware, thanks,” he mumbled and felt the eyes of all three of them stare at him, but he just continued writing lyrics that were quickly beginning to sound like a straight up love letter addressed to you. 

“Alright,” Helena says and Anakin misses the weary look she shares with the guys before backing away. “Just making sure. Get some good sleep these next couple of nights, guys. You’ve got a busy three months ahead of you.”

She leaves after that, and Anakin quickly begins to feel a bit bad, but he liked to think his harsh words were justified. “Hey, man,” Vinny says and places his hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “You okay?”

He nods, closing the book and standing up, giving his two friends an apologetic smile. “Yeah, I’m good,” he answers. “I think I’ll go home early today, if you guys don’t mind. I still need to pack a few things, and I’ll probably forget to do it later on.”

That sounded reasonable, right?

“Sure, man,” Theo says and stands up as well. “You go home, Vin and I will catch up with you in a bit.”

Vinny nods and gives him an over-exaggerated smile, successfully making Anakin laugh as he walks towards the door that Helena left through not even a minute earlier. “Thanks, guys,” he says, grateful that they seemed to understand him better than he thought they would. As he heads towards the exit, he takes his phone out of his pocket and dials your number, bringing the phone up to his ear as he waits for you to pick up. 

“Hi, Ani,” your way too kind voice greets him, and he felt better already. 

“Hi, princess,”

“What are you guys up to?” He could hear you rummaging around with something in the background, and he really wanted to be home with you right now. “Making more hit songs? Preferably about me?”

Your soft laugh met his ear and he refrained from groaning. “All our songs are about you,” he reminds you as he leaves the building the studio is in. “Perks of being the lead songwriter.”

You laugh again and he could picture your pretty smile without even trying to.

“But, no,” he answered. “I’m on my way home.”

“Oh,” you sounded surprised but also a bit happy at the news. “Early day today?”

“No, I just miss you,” and then he was once again picturing your small smile he knew was just for him.

-

“Are you sure you have everything?” You ask Anakin for the third time as he stuffs his headphones into his bag. 

“Yes,” he answers for the third time and turns to face you. “Do you have everything? Still have that email saved that proves you’re a student there and get to take advantage of the student housing on campus?”

“Yes,” you say and kiss his cheek. “Bye, bedroom. See you in three months.” 

You wave goodbye to yours and his room before heading towards the door, and he is convinced there is no one in the world who is cuter than you. 

After locking the door, Anakin takes your hand in his as the two of you make your way towards the elevators. The whole ride down, as well as the short walk to the side of the apartment building, he didn’t loosen his grip on you for a second. 

You weren’t complaining one bit, nor could you blame him for wanting to touch you as much as possible right now. You weren’t doing much better. 

After getting a drive to the airport you meet up with both the guys, who had arrived a bit earlier. 

“Hey, Y/n,” Theo smiled at you when you and Anakin approached the bag check area. They both already had their bags checked, so they were just waiting on the two of you. “Nice to see you.”

You smile at him as Vinny looks up from his place on the uncomfortable airport chair. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, especially after the torture you two put us through on the bus last time, but I’m glad you’re here,” he says and you laugh quietly. “This guy has been acting like a depressed teenage boy ever since you got accepted into that program. Been a real downer.” He points at Anakin with a smirk.

Laughing again, you press yourself against your boyfriend’s side as he glares at his friend. “Shut up, Vin,”

“Be nice,” you lightly slap his chest as he pulls you closer to him. “In all honesty, I haven’t been acting any better.”

Vinny nods. “Fair,” was all he said before he looked back down at his phone.

You lean up and kiss Anakin’s cheek, moving to pull away from him when he tugs you back against his side and kisses you properly. Stepping away with a laugh, you hold out your bag to him with a soft pout. “Get this checked for me?”

He takes it from you without question and kisses the side of your head before walking towards the screening section, leaving you to stand with Theo. 

“Hey, I’m not sure how much you wanted me to know, if at all, but Anakin told me about your mom,” you start and move closer to him. Theo tenses up at that and leans against the wall. “I’m really sorry to hear that she’s sick. How are you doing?”

He sighs and shrugs. “I don’t care that he told you, don’t worry,” he said. “I figured he would, so it’s fine. I’m fine, too.”

You nod, pursing your lips as you think about what to say next. It was clear that he wasn’t, but you weren’t about to call him out on it. That was Vinny’s thing. “Okay,” you murmur, reaching over and squeezing his shoulder. “If there is anything at all I can do, just let me know.”

Theo gives you a semi-forced smile as he nudges your side with his elbow. “Thanks, Y/n/n,” he mutters. “I’m good for now. Promise.”

“Okay,” you repeat and smile teasingly at him. “Are you ready for round two of tour life?”

He smiles, too, and gives you a hesitant nod. “As ready as I’ll ever be,” he answered. 

“You’ll be great,” you assure him as Anakin walks back over to you. “You’ll all be great.”

“You’re sweet,” Vinny says as he stands up. “Far too nice for our boy Anakin here.”

Anakin gives him a blank look and you have to hold back a laugh. “Where’s your girlfriend, Vinny?” He asked as he laced his fingers with yours. “We’re going to be late.”

Vinny rolls his eyes and looks behind you. “Right there,” he replied as Clara rushed over to you after getting her bag checked. “Hey, babe.”

“Hi!” She says back, out of breath as she smiles at you. “I’m so sorry I took so long getting here. I had to order an Uber and the traffic was crazy.”

“You’re fine,” Anakin says as you all begin to walk towards the loading bridge. 

After giving the lady your tickets you were left to board the plane and sit for the next eleven hours. The whole ride there Anakin somehow managed to sleep peacefully with his head on your shoulder while you watched the entirety of the Scream franchise.

You ended up sleeping through most of the third one, but other than that, you didn’t get nearly as much sleep as Anakin did. He was a bit groggy because of it as the five of you made your way through the London airport. Helena was waiting for you when you made it outside, and the sight of the tour bus brought back so many memories from the last tour, it had your hand tightening around Anakin’s as he guided you towards it.

“Alright, guys,” Helena said excitedly as you all got onto the bus. “And girls. Are you ready for your show tomorrow night?” 

Theo tossed his bag onto the top bunk before sitting on the small couch that was next to the even smaller table. “So ready,” he answered with a certain amount of enthusiasm that gave away the fact that he was playing it up a bit. He was excited, sure, but he would rather be at home and helping his sister take care of his mom, but he knew what he was getting into when he joined this industry. 

It truly didn’t wait for anyone. 

“I was waiting for the day we got to go on tour again,” Vinny says as he heads towards the back of the bus and throws his bag onto the double bed. “Just didn’t realize it would come this quick.”

Helena nods as she sits down at the table. “This is all very fast-paced, I know,” she agreed. “How ‘bout you, Anakin? Are you ready?”

Anakin pulls you with him towards the bunk as he nods. “I’m ready,” he says and sets his bag down on the ground, turning to take yours from you and set it down as well. “I’m not ready to say goodbye to this one, though.”

You laugh as he pulls you against his chest. “‘This one’?”

“Yeah,” he states. “This one.”

Shaking your head, you look down at the bottom bunk. “We’re both supposed to fit in that bed?” You ask and he nods, looking over at the small bed as well. “Not sure how that’s going to work. Unless I sleep completely on top of you.”

Anakin smirks and slides his hands lower down your back, seeming to not care at all about the four other people around. Five if you counted the driver. “That’s the plan, baby,” 

You roll your eyes and push him away from you. “You’re such a guy,”

He laughs loudly as he moves to lay down on the bottom bunk, his hand finding yours as he tugs you down as well. “C’mere,” he mumbles. “Let’s see if we fit.”

You huff as you move to lay on top of him, his hands finding their home on your hips almost instantly. “Wow, would you look at that,” you mutter as you settle against him. “We fit.”

Anakin hums, kissing your lips quickly. “It’s you and me,” he points out. “Of course we fit.”

You smile and kiss him again before moving to rest your head on his shoulder. 

“Does this remind you of anything?” He asks as he runs his hands up and down your back.

“Us,” you answer. “Circa…..less than six months ago?”

“Feels like it was yesterday,” he grins. “It also reminds me of when you and I fell asleep on the upstairs couch at my parents house after we threw that graduation party.”

“Oh, my God,” you whine, burying your face against his neck. “Your mom was so mad about that. She came home and the house was a mess.”

“Hey, she said she wouldn’t be back for another three days. I would’ve had plenty of time to clean it up had she stuck to her word,”

“We would’ve,” you pointed out, brushing your nose along his jawline. “I love you, Ani, but we both know you’re awful at cleaning.”

“True,” he agreed. “But that didn’t stop my mom from sending you home and making me clean the entire house by myself while I nursed a hangover.”

You laugh and move to lay half on top of him and half on the small amount of space left on the bed. “It feels like it’s been years since we were in high school,” you admit quietly as Theo and Helena fell into a hushed conversation. You weren’t sure you wanted to know what Vinny and Clara were up to. 

Anakin hummed and you felt the vibrations of it against the side of your face. “It has been years,” he mumbled, his voice giving away the fact that he was tired, despite sleeping for most of the flight. “It’s been almost three since we graduated.”

“I know, but it feels like it’s been way longer than that,” you murmur, tracing the tip of your index finger along the various shapes on his shirt. “Maybe it’s just me. I feel like I haven’t slowed down in so long. It’s been one thing after the other since we finished high school.”

He hums again, turning on his side and draping his arm over your waist. “I know,” he says quietly. “I’m to blame for most of it, I know that. I’m sorry it’s been crazy ever since the guys and I released that first song.” 

You shake your head and press your body against his. “I wouldn’t change a thing, Ani,” you promise, stroking his cheekbone with your thumb. “I’m just hoping we get some time to ourselves after this. Is that selfish to want? Considering we’ve been spending almost all of our time together since we were seventeen?” 

He shakes his head this time and pulls you closer to him. “No,” he states. “It’s not selfish, baby, because I want it, too.”

You smile up at him, wondering how he was able to assure you so easily with the simplest of words. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he presses a kiss to your forehead. “I want to spend days on end with you in our apartment, in our bed, and not have to worry about anything else all day long.”

You groan and the sound goes straight to his dick, but he did his best to push away the dirty thoughts about you in his head. While you and he weren’t very quiet last time on tour, you also had a whole part of the bus to yourselves, and fucking you on the bottom bunk while Theo slept above him was a bit much, even for him.

“Sounds perfect,” you practically moan and Anakin really had to put in the effort to stop the blood from rushing to the lower part of his body. 

“You should try to sleep,” he changed the subject in an attempt to stop himself from thinking about all the ways he could take you right now. “I know you barely slept on the plane.”

You huff out a laugh, settling against him. “You did enough of that for the both of us, don’t you think?”

He smirked. “That’s the best sleep I’ve gotten while not in an actual bed,” he argued but you just shook your head. “It’s late, pretty girl, and we’ve got a long day tomorrow. You should try to get some sleep.”

“I’ll sleep in a bit,” you say and rest your head on his chest. “Right now I just want to lay with you.”

And Anakin would never complain about laying with you for as long as you wanted, because it was something he wanted, too.

So, he stayed in the bunk with you for a couple of hours before you both changed into more comfortable clothing, and then you were right back in the bed together. 

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to sleep in this bed by myself once you’re gone,” he confessed quietly, not wanting to wake up his sleeping bandmates. “Now that I know we fit perfectly together on it, it’ll be hard to get used to not having you in my arms.”

“Easy,” you warned just as quietly. “If you keep talking like that, I’ll end up staying with you instead of doing this program.”

“Maybe that’s my plan,” he joked, but he quickly realized how serious his words actually are. You didn’t need to know that, though. “I’m proud of you, you know that?”

You nod, kissing his neck and closing your eyes. “I know. And I’m proud of you, too. And I love you,”

His lips found yours in the dark bus, and he kissed you more than a few times before pulling your body right up against his. “I love you,” he swore, wrapping his arms securely around you and feeling the way you relaxed completely against him as you fell asleep. 

-

“Hi,” an unfamiliar voice said from behind Anakin. He turned around and looked up from his crouched position as he tuned the string of his guitar, his eyes meeting ones of a girl he’s never seen before. 

There were a few hours left before he was set to go out on stage, and he was currently going over the standard soundchecks backstage. 

“Hi,” he trailed off, trying to think of where he could’ve seen this girl, because it was clear that she was here for a reason, and it seemed like she knew him. 

“Oh, right, sorry,” she laughed, lifting her hand revealing an expensive looking camera. “I guess since there aren’t any photos of me on my Instagram, you wouldn’t have recognized me from anywhere. I’m Liz, your band’s new photographer.”

She held her hand out to him and Anakin straightened up a bit but stayed in his knelt position. “Oh, hey,” he greets in a much more friendly tone. He shook her hand briefly before going back to working on his guitar. “Yeah, I had no idea what you looked like, just what your Instagram shows. Your pictures are good.”

Liz’s face tints pink a bit as she holds up her camera. “Thank you,” she smiles. “I can’t wait to start taking some for you and your band.”

Anakin laughs as he glances up at her. “I wouldn’t call it my band,” he brushes off her words. “We’re a team.”

“You’re the lead singer and lead songwriter, right?” She smirks as she plays with the settings on the camera. When Anakin hesitantly nods, her smirk grows. “So it’s your band.”

“Not really,” he tries again but shuts up when she brings the camera up to her face.

“Mind if I get some behind the scenes pictures of you?”

Anakin looks down at his ripped tee and worn jeans with a frown. “I look kinda bad right now,”

Liz scoffs. “You look hot,” she grins when he looks up at her. “You’re in your element. The fans will go crazy for it. They want to see you in a natural setting, one where you’re not trying to look good but somehow managed to anyway.”

“Right,” he laughed. “If you say so.”

“You know I’m right. Now smile,” he did as he was told and waited until Liz had taken at least ten photos of him before turning away and focusing on the strings of his guitar. “Thanks. I’ll see you later...in action.”

When he heard her begin to walk away, Anakin lifted his gaze again and watched as she wandered off towards the exit. There was something about her that he couldn’t quite place his finger on, but it was weird. He knew that much. 

But he also didn’t want to judge her after one interaction with her.

Shaking his head, he goes back to tuning the strings and takes another ten or so minutes doing that before setting it aside and pulling out his phone. When he opened his Instagram app, he was met with the picture Liz had just taken of him not too long ago. 

It was already edited to make it look a bit more HD and vibrant, and he wondered how she had managed to do that and post it so quickly. It was captioned ‘One of many to come. Here’s a sneak peak of Anakin before tonight’s show in Manchester! I’m beyond excited to go on this journey with you.’, and she had tagged both his account and the band’s. 

It already had over fifteen thousand likes, and after scrolling through her other posts, he realized that the simple picture of him was her most popular upload already. He couldn’t lie, she was quite talented, and if her posting him was what got her stuff out there, he was more than okay with that. 

Still looking at his phone, he missed the way the door to the parking lot opened and how you quickly made your way over to him. “Ani,” you call and he looks up instantly, rising to stand just as you throw yourself into his arms. 

You kissed him before he could say anything, and he was helpless in fighting off the smile that took over his lips. “Baby,”

You grin at him. “I saw that picture your photographer posted,” you tell him and Anakin could immediately hear the way your voice changed into one he’s heard you speak in way too many times to count. “You looked so hot, I had to come see you for myself.” 

He laughed, holding your waist with both hands. “She’s quick with it, huh? I guess we made the right choice,”

You nod and kiss him again. “So you’ve met her? Officially?” You ask and he nods, running his hands up and down your sides. “Damn, I wanted to meet her before tonight, too.”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to talk to her before the show,” he offered as he leaned down and kissed your neck. “You look so pretty.”

You scoff and glance down at the simple white dress you wore, the contrast to his fully black outfit and how different your styles were more evident than ever. “Please,” you laugh. “I don’t even have my makeup done. I was in the middle of it when I saw the post and had to run across the parking lot to come see you.”

“Ah,” he hums, pulling back with a smirk. “So that’s why you’re all hot and bothered.”

“Nope,” you shake your head, glancing around the backstage area before shamelessly gripping the front of his jeans. “You’re why I’m all hot and bothered.”

“Y/n,” he warned as he looked over to see a bunch of the stage crew members scurry around in an attempt to get things ready for the show. “Don’t make me take you right back to that tour bus when I’m supposed to be getting ready for the show.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” you tease back, pulling your hand away. “I gotta finish getting ready, and so do you. I’ll see you in a bit.”

He nods, grabbing your hand when you begin to move away from him and pulling you back in for a deep kiss. “See you soon,”

And then you were on your way with a shy smile on your lips, and he was left with a semi hard-on as he helped get the stage set up. It wasn’t part of his job, and there were professionals there to do it for him, but he needed the distraction to help rid him of your effects on him. 

Since you were now in London, Anakin had gone out of his way to book a hotel room for tonight so he can spend his last night with you alone and in an actual bed. Your dorm was about an hour away from tonight’s venue, so you came up with the plan to catch a ride the rest of the way tomorrow morning while Anakin left for the rest of the tour. 

The fact that he had less than twenty four hours left with you did the trick and he was no longer sporting a semi.

Hours go by and it’s finally time for him to go back on stage for the first time since the last tour. Yeah, it was only a few months ago, but Anakin couldn’t deny how much he missed performing. And he couldn’t deny how much he loved seeing you in your personal spot backstage. 

Before he joined the other guys on stage, he stopped next to you with his guitar strap around his body. He pulled you towards him and kissed you hard, grinning when you pulled back and murmured, “Have a good show, Ani,”

That was all he needed to hear as he made his way out on stage, and the loud cheers of the fans had both of you smiling. 

You stand next to Clara as Vinny introduces the band from his place behind the drumkit, and she was as antsy as you were the first time you saw them on stage. 

A flash goes off next to you and you turn, noticing a girl in her late twenties holding up a camera and taking pictures of the guys in various angles. “Hey,” you call out over the beginning chords of Dirty Little Secret. The girl looks over at you with an unreadable expression, making your smile drop a bit. “You’re Liz, right?”

“That’s right,” she yells back, stepping towards you with a small smirk. “And you are…?”

You furrow your brows, assuming she already knew who you were since she was told to look into the band she would be working with, and you weren’t exactly missing from Anakin’s Instagram. He only had two posts now, the one with you, and the shirtless picture of him from the SLACKERS shoot. He posted that one mainly for you, since you so sweetly asked him to. 

“I’m Y/n,” you say and nod towards your boyfriend. “Anakin’s girlfriend.”

“Right,” she dragged the word out as she lifted the camera again. “I knew you looked familiar. Saw you on his Instagram. You guys are cute.”

The way she said that had you narrowing your eyes as she moved past you and towards the stairs that lead to the mosh pit. She didn’t give you the chance to respond, but she was also technically working, so you didn’t really get too annoyed. 

You turn back towards the stage and heat up at the thin layer of sweat that had already settled on Anakin’s skin. His outfit was simple; black jeans, a vintage tee and black converse, but fuck did it get you going. 

As he sang the song he wrote way back when the two of you first got together, you had to stop yourself from moaning out loud at how good your boyfriend looks. Realistically, no one would hear you if you were to slip up and moan, but you also didn’t want to take that chance. A bit hypocritical since you used to receive a lot of dirty looks back on campus after spending hours on end with Anakin in bed, but you couldn’t be blamed. Anakin was beyond attractive, and those walls were far too thin. 

Even though you had pretty much the best view, you were still excited to see the HD pictures Liz took once the show was over. She seemed relatively nice and career focused, and you could only assume that the two of you would get along. Sure, you wouldn’t see much of her since this is your last day on the tour and this is her first, but the potential of a possible friendship forming between you was definitely there. 

The show went on for nearly two hours before the guys were bidding their London fans a goodbye and leaving the stage, all three of them pumped up on adrenaline. Vinny is pretty much all over Clara, and Anakin is no better. After handing off his guitar, his hands find your hips and he pulls you against his sweat coated body. 

You didn’t mind at all, and you were actually having a hard time resisting poking your tongue out and licking a line up his neck. “You guys were amazing,” was all you managed to get out before his lips were on yours. He pressed you against the recently unplugged speaker, his hands bunching up the fabric of your flimsy blue dress. “Ani.”

“I love that sound,” he muttered, kissing you again. “I love this color on you, too. This dress is so pretty, baby.”

You hold back a moan and tangle your hands in his hair. “Anakin,” you said breathlessly. “Let’s get out of here, please?” 

He groaned, kissing along your exposed shoulder. “Let’s go find out how this dress looks on the hotel room floor,” he suggested, pulling away and taking your hand in his as he led you towards the exit. 

The hotel was a short five minute drive away from the venue, so Anakin just flagged down a cab after grabbing your things and his bag. On the ride there, he sent a quick text to the guys and Helena that told them he would meet up with them the following morning at whatever place they decided to station the bus at for the night. 

Then he was pulling you along with him as he took the room key from the lady at the front desk. He barely had the door labeled 306 shut fully before he was pressing you right up against it, his mouth covering yours and his hands gripping the backs of your thighs after you both dropped your bags. “Anakin,” you gasp quietly as he lifts you up. “Please.”

He hummed into the kiss, only breaking it to murmur, “We’re going to take our time tonight, princess,” he rasped, sliding his hands under your dress and gripping your ass. “I’m going to make you feel so good for hours.”

“Ani,” you whined against his mouth, holding onto his hair as he pulls you away from the door and moves towards the bed. You moan as his hands knead your soft skin before he sets you down on the floor just in front of the bed. “I need you.” 

“I need you, too,” he says back, kissing along your shoulders and pushing down the straps of your dress. “I always need you. Remember that, princess.”

You nod as he slides your dress down your body and lets it fall to the floor. When his hands grip your thighs again, you jump up and wrap your legs around his waist and kiss him, clinging onto him as he lays you down on the bed. 

It was nearing midnight, and even though you both have an early day ahead of you tomorrow, the fact that this was your last night together before being separated was hanging heavily at the front of your minds.  

Anakin kissed all along your neck and shoulders as if he was trying to burn the feeling of you into his mind. He was savoring the feeling of your soft skin against his lips as if this was the last time he’d ever experience you, but he knew that was far from the truth. 

You are undeniably and completely his, much like how he is yours. 

“You’re so good to me, Ani,” you praise as he kisses down your body, his fingers gently kneading you through your bra. “I don’t deserve you.”

He shook his head as he pressed a kiss to your hip. “You’ve got it wrong, pretty girl,” he said, running his nose along your pretty pink and lacy panties. “I don’t deserve you. I’ve done nothing in my life that has ever made me deserve you.”

You pout. “You write songs about me,”

“Yeah, but that began happening after I met you. Before I was just a dumb band geek who could hardly keep up with the rest of them,” 

Your mind goes back to the early days of yours and his relationship, back when you were part of the school’s book club and he was part of the school’s band. Realistically, the two of you should have never met because you were so different from one another, but you were beyond glad that you did.

You were sure there was no better person for you than Anakin Skywalker, and you didn’t want the chance to even try to prove yourself right. 

“Look at you now,” you grin. “You’re living out your dream. And you were never dumb.”

Anakin laughed as he kissed your inner thigh. “Maybe not, but you were always a hell of a lot smarter than me,” he pointed out and traced the lining of your bra with his index finger. “And it’s only a dream because you’re right here with me.”

Your face heats up and you bite down hard on your lip, his words sending a jolt of need through your body. 

His hands gently tug the lace down your legs and drop them to the floor, his mouth moving to wrap around your bundle of nerves. You grab his left hand and tangle your fingers together, bringing your joined hands up to your lips and pressing a kiss to the bumpy skin of his newest tattoo for you.  

You place his hand on your chest and he gets the hint immediately, curling his fingers and stroking your nipple through the thin material of your bra as he licks a stripe up your folds. 

“Anakin,” you whine, trying to close your legs but he was relentless as he pushed them back down. “I want you.”

He lifts his head, his mouth glistensing from both his spit and your juices. “I want you, too, pretty girl,” he promised, using his free hand to fuck his middle and index finger into you. “But we’re going slow tonight, the way we both need it.”

You whine again as his mouth returns to your clit, his tongue tracing the letters of his name onto it in time with the thrusts of his hand. Your hand tangles in his hair while your other one fumbles with the clasp of your bra. Once you pull it from your body, Anakin’s fingers go right back to pinching and pulling at your hardening peaks, the feeling of it only making the fucks of his hand that much more intense. 

“Are you going to get me off with your mouth, Ani?” You ask so innocently, despite you literally asking if he was going to make you come with just his tongue and fingers. 

He groaned against your core, the vibrations traveling right up your body and making you squirm a bit. “Yeah, princess,” he answered, slowly fucking his digits in and out of you. “I’m gonna get you off with my mouth.”

You moan loudly and arch your back a bit, placing your hand over his in a tight grip. “Fuck,” 

He smirked and brought his tongue back to your folds, where he fucked you with it right alongside his fingers. “You want it?” He teased, unable to stop himself from getting you to say more and more filthy things that always sounded so sweet coming from you. 

And, of course, you give in to him without any hesitation. “I want it,”

“Let me taste you, pretty girl,” he nearly begged and roughly thrusted his hand. “All over my tongue.”

He sunk the wet muscle into your core and thrusted it a few times. That was really all you needed as your stomach tightened and your back arched. “Ani, oh, God,” you cry out as the knot that had been quickly building up snaps and unravels. 

Anakin greedily cleans up any evidence of your release, slowing down the sharp fucks of his fingers before pulling them out of you completely. He sits back on his knees as he sucks the digits into his mouth, all while keeping eye contact with you. 

Your eyes are blown wide as you watch him pop his fingers out of his mouth before he moves onto ridding himself of his shirt. His bare chest next to his ink covered arm had your mind blanking for a second or two as you were hit with an overwhelming feeling of need for the man in front of you. 

His hand slides up your leg and bends it at the knee, using very little strength to pry your thighs apart so he can stare at your sopping entrance. You writhe and bite down hard on your lip, and his smirk makes your heartbeat quicken. “Move back, princess,” he demands in a deep voice and you oblige right away.

You move back and lean against the ridiculous amount of pillows that were propped against the headboard. Your hands tug on his jeans as you whine quietly, your mind a lust-filled mess at this point. “Take them off,” you beg and he laughs. 

He unzips the black material and kicks them off his legs. They join the growing pile on the floor as he hovers over you and grunts at the way you grab his hand and suck his thumb into your mouth. “You’re so hot,” he muttered as he settled between your legs. 

“Don’t talk to me about who’s hot when you’re literally the most attractive man on the entire planet,” you say and pull him down on top of you. 

Anakin laughs again and grinds his still clothed front against your bare one. “You always know just what to say to make me feel special, baby,” 

You lean in and kiss him hard, tugging on his hair as you did so. “You are special,” you mumble and kiss along his jawline. “Don’t ever forget that.”

He hummed and moved his head down to suck another mark onto your shoulder, wanting all of the guys in your program to see that you were taken and that they shouldn’t even bother wasting their time. “I want you,” he rasped, kissing you again and noisily pulling away. “Are you ready for me?”

“Always,” you answer without hesitation. 

He grins and kisses you again while you take it upon yourself to rid him of his boxer briefs. Your previous release made it easy for him to slide into your core, and the two of you share a moan as he pulls away from the kiss. “Fuck,” he groaned and pressed his head against the side of your neck. 

You were still a bit sensitive, but you were also far too gone to wait any longer. Tangling your hands in his hair, you tug at the slightly long strands as he pulls out halfway before sinking back into you. “Ani,” you whimper as you wrap your legs around his waist. 

“I know, baby,” he mumbles and peppers kisses along your neck and shoulders as he begins thrusting into you at a slow pace. He was painfully hard and his body was begging him to go fast, but he didn’t want this night with you to end anytime soon. “You feel so good.”

Like always.

Your sweet moans sound throughout the hotel room as he slowly and sharply fucked into you. Your walls took every inch of him greedily, and the tightness of them had Anakin grunting quietly under his breath. 

Wrapping your arms tightly around his shoulders, you bring your mouth to his in a surprisingly delicate kiss, despite the current circumstances. Your lips mesh together as his hips meet yours at a slow pace, swapping out the quick fucks you’ve shared since moving into the new apartment together. 

While it was always intimate and personal with Anakin, and it was amazing every single time, on the rare occasion he took his time and touched every single part of you….you never felt more loved, wanted and needed. 

He breaks the kiss and moves his mouth to your neck, where he kisses every inch of you. You wrap your legs around his waist, your heels digging into his back to push him even deeper into you. He lifts one hand and pushes away the hair from your forehead that had gotten messy from your previous actions, his fingers running down the side of your face and resting on the curve of your jaw. 

How he was so gentle in one way while absolutely destroying you in another was sending your mind into a frenzy. 

He told you from day one that he would always take care of you, and that meant in and out of bed, and he was never one to break a promise, especially one he made to you. 

He made you feel so good all the time, and right now was one of those times you truly felt connected to him. 

“You feel so good, baby,” he praised quietly, and his sweet praises always made you a blushing mess for him. 

Usually he loved to get you loud, which ultimately resulted in him fucking you hard and quick into the bed, but nothing turned him on like when he took you nice and slow. 

The intense feeling of your walls hugging every inch of him had him going crazy. He had no idea how he was supposed to go weeks without you, and not even in this way. Five years is a long time with someone, and he had never gone more than a few days without you. 

He was going to miss you more than he’s ever missed anything else, but the thought of finally settling down with you after this was over is what he is holding onto. 

He didn’t care that you were both still so young. He wanted you forever, and he wanted everyone to know it. 

As soon as the tour was over, he was going to ask you the question he’s been waiting to ask you since a month into your relationship. 

“Ani,” you whimper, tugging on his hair as he brought you closer and closer to your release with the slow fucks of his hips. “I love you.”

Anakin lifts his head and kisses you deeply, his thrusts stuttering a bit as you clench down around him. He kisses you a couple more times, cradling the back of your head in one hand while his other finds yours, where he laces your fingers together. 

He held you as if you were the most pure and fragile thing he had ever seen, and your already dizzy head swooned further. “I love you, princess,” he rasped, kissing you again as he fucked into you a bit harder but at the same pace. “My pretty girl. I love you so much.”

Though he was going slow, you felt your release quickly approaching. He was so sweet and your emotions were getting the better of you, and you moan against his mouth as you hug him close. “Anakin,” you practically whisper as you tug on his hair. 

He hummed and kissed along your jaw, pausing by your ear so he could murmur, “Come for me, pretty girl,” 

And you do. 

You cling to him impossibly tight as you come for the second time with Anakin mumbling soft praises to you. 

The warmth that flooded around him spurred his own release, and Anakin groans and curses under his breath as your walls suck him in deeper. “Good girl,” he says quietly as he moves to lay next to you. He pulls you into his arms and kisses all over your face as he tangles his legs with yours. “You always take me so well.”

You grin up at him. “Well, I was made for you,” you joke, but both of you believe that your words were true. It really did feel like you were made for each other. 

Anakin laughed and kissed your forehead. “You’re not wrong,” he agreed and ran his fingers up and down your back as you both tried to get your breathing back to normal. 

You lay together in a comfortable silence, your hand resting on his chest as you tried to forget about the fact that you really only had a few hours left with him. Propping yourself up on your elbow, you meet his eyes and match his grin. “We should probably get some sleep soon. We have an early morning,”

He nodded, gently grabbing your left hand. “We should,” he says as he kisses your tattoo of his initial. “But I’d rather be tired tomorrow than waste our time together by sleeping.”

Your smile grows as he pulls you closer to him. “What did you have in mind, then? If you don’t want to go to sleep?”

Anakin hummed in pretend thought as he grabbed the back of your thigh and placed it over his. “I remember saying that I would make you feel good for hours,” he recalled and your face heated up as your hand tangled in his hair again. 

“I think I remember you saying something like that, too,” 

-

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Anakin mumbles against your lips as he holds your body impossibly close to his. 

“I miss you already,” you quietly confess as you pressed your head against his shoulder. “But it’s only three months. And I’ll come see you when it’s our anniversary. And your birthday is coming up, too, and I’m not missing that.”

He kissed the top of your head, the cool air blowing your hair around a bit. “You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that,”

You smile up at him with tears in your eyes and he couldn’t stop himself from kissing you right now if he tried. His lips met yours in a gentle kiss, one that reminded him of the first ever one he shared with you, back when he was an inexperienced teen. 

He didn’t want this moment to end, nor did he want to go back onto that bus without you, but it was nearing the time he was supposed to meet back up with the guys so they can make it to the next location in time. 

Anakin pulled you closer just as his phone went off, and he knew who it was without even checking it. He pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at the text before looking back at you. “It’s Vinny,” he says quietly. “I’ve gotta go.”

You nod and take his hand in yours. “I love you,” 

He kisses your forehead and squeezes your fingers in between his. “I love you so much, pretty girl,” 

You sniff quietly and step away from him. “Have fun, Ani,” you request in a whisper. “And don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

He would always worry about you for as long as he lived, and you knew that. He was actually very worried about you living in London on your own while he was off with two of his closest friends, but he didn’t want to make you any more nervous about it than you already are. “I know you will,” he smiled sadly. “I’m so proud of you. You’ll do amazing.”

Anakin grabbed his bag and moved towards the cab that had been waiting for him for the past ten minutes, and if Anakin hadn’t already told the guy that he’d tip him extra for waiting, he was sure he would’ve left by now. 

“Keep me updated,” he nearly begged as he opened the backseat door. “I want to hear about everything, okay?”

You nod and wipe under your eyes. “I will,” you promised, dreading having to go back to your hotel room to get ready to move into your temporary dorm. “Text me after every show, please?”

“You know I will,” he grinned then softened his gaze as more tears fell from your eyes. “We can handle three months, princess. That’s nothing when I know it’s you who I’m coming back to.” 

You smile with a laugh. “I’ll see you soon,” 

He refrained from going back over to you and taking you into his arms as he knew he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to let you go again. “I’ll see you soon, baby,” he agreed and threw his bag into the backseat. “I love you.”

“I love you,” 

And then he was gone, and you were left alone on the sidewalk.

-

“Hey, good to have you back, man,” Vinny greeted as Anakin stumbled his way onto the bus. “How are you doing?”

Anakin laughed as he set his bag down onto the floor before laying down on the couch. He wasn’t ready to get into his bunk since the last time he was in it he was with you. “I’m fucked,” he admitted and rubbed his face. “I miss her already.”

Vinny nodded from his place at the small table. “You’ll be fine. Both of you will be fine,” he assured Anakin as he scrolled through his phone. “Hey, did Liz send you those pics from last night?”

Anakin furrowed his brows as he pulled out his phone. “I don’t know, I’ve barely used my phone today,”

“Check your email,” Vinny suggested as he leaned back against the chair. 

Scrolling through various emails and spam alerts, Anakin came to the conclusion that Liz hadn’t sent him anything. “I don’t see them,” he muttered as he looked one last time. 

“Really? Weird,” Vinny mumbled. “She sent them to Theo and I.”

Anakin narrowed his eyes as he opened his Instagram app to see if she posted them onto her account. It was then when he saw that she had messaged him on it, and he clicked on the chat without thinking much of it. 

Liz had actually sent him the pictures, but through Instagram DM’s and not through email like she did for the other guys. He scrolled through the multitude of photos with a small smile on his lips that quickly disappeared as he read the message she sent with them.

Here are the shots from London! Gotta admit, you look good on camera, but even better off ;) Can’t wait for the other locations! See you tomorrow night. 

He read it over a few times before glancing up at Vinny. “Hey, Vin?” He called, hearing his friend hum in response. “Did Liz say anything in her email? Or did she just send the pictures?”

Vinny looked in thought for a second. “Did she say anything? Like what?”

“I don’t know, like….flirty?” Was she flirting with him? He couldn’t tell if that’s what it was or if that was just her personality.

“No,” Vinny laughed, suddenly giving him his full attention. “Why? She sent you something flirty?”

Anakin shrugged as he skimmed over the message again. “No, but she seems kinda….forward,” 

“That’s good, no?” Vinny asked as he stood up. “I take it she did send the pictures to you, then?”

“Yeah, through Instagram,”

Vinny looked a tad confused as he stared down at Anakin. “That’s a weird way to get them to you, but at least you have them now,” he offered before wandering off towards the back of the bus. 

“Yeah,” Anakin trailed off, knowing that Vinny wouldn’t have been able to hear him. He wasn’t sure how to respond to Liz, and debated on whether or not he should even respond at all if she was actually flirting with him, but then decided that he must be a bit sensitive to everything at the moment since he was already hundreds of miles away from you, and he missed you a lot.

So, he typed out a “Thanks, they look awesome,” and topped it off with a thumbs up emoji before pocketing his phone and burying his face against the armrest of the couch.

[mysicklove-main]

A/N: Tanjiro writing to his long distance partner bc thats so cute and im in love with him

My Beloved,

I feel as though a part of me is missing without you by my side. I find myself constantly looking for you, even though it’s no use. Oh how dearly I wish you were here. But even so, I feel at peace knowing you are at home and well rested. Safe from harm.

I can’t contain my questions. So please make do with my ramblings.

How are you? Are you sleeping well? Do you feel lonely at home? Have you been keeping busy? Has Shinobu been visiting you? Where Has your hair grown out since my absence? You haven’t been going out at night, right? Is your finger still bare?

I’ve been growing quite worried with the time apart. I feel as though you may find another if I leave for too long.

I’m sorry, I know you would scold me for thinking these things. I wish desperately that I could hear your scolding. But I can’t stop the thoughts that creep on me in the night.

Nezuko is doing fine. She’s getting stronger by the day. She misses you immensely. It’s strange to see how uneasy she is without you. I don’t blame her. I wonder, if you were

Inosuke and Zenitsu are also getting stronger. I hope I can keep up with them. I train day in and out hoping to not fall behind. I think I am getting stronger. I have been working on Hinokami Kagura. It drains my body, but still I push forward. I have to master it, even if it is such a slow process.

At night I find myself daydreaming. Maybe one day you could call your husband lover a hashira. Would we live together peacefully? Or would I be gone on missions like these? I don’t think I could bear to leave you for long. It’s so hard t But I am getting ahead of myself. I am only doing this to save Nezuko. And of course to protect you! I don't need to become a hashira.

I hope my crow has been delivering the gifts properly. I wish I could see the way your eyes light up when you receive them. I’m trying not to let the separation get to me, but when I think about these moments it’s always so hard.

I’m getting distracted again, I apologize my love. The crow should have delivered you the jewelry box. A kind woman sold it to me, and please don’t worry! I promise that it was fairly priced! I hope through its journey that it didn’t get chipped. But I know you don’t care about those things. Either way, I hope you use it well.

My beloved, I do have a favor to ask of you. I hope this is not too much to ask, but the same woman from the market told me about something that cannot seem to leave my head. She explained that many soldiers from the Meiji period used to tie fabric from their lover's kimono around the hem of their sword. It was a symbol of good luck, and that they will always be together no matter the distance between them.

I thought it was…romantic. It made my cheeks burn at the thought. I really I would love if I understand completely if you don’t want to tear a part off. But I can’t explain the joy I would feel if you did. I would treasure it dearly.

I have been avoiding the real reason I wrote this letter and I can’t go on without saying it. Oh, my love, I miss you dearly. I miss the scent of you. I miss your smile, your laugh. I miss waking up to you every morning, that vision never seems to leave my mind. I miss your voice, your touch. I desperately crave it.

I’m sorry. A man shouldn’t act like that. Tengen left his wives for months, and was completely fine. I wish I could do the same. It’s been five weeks and the fight seems to dwindle in me without you here.

I’m trying though. I won’t give up. I will make it home to you and then I swear I’ll never leave you again.

A couple more weeks until I am home. The thought of you in my arms once again makes me feel dizzy with need. I will come back safely for you.

So please, my everything, please take care of yourself. I can’t bear the thought of you being unwell. Please stay safe and don’t walk alone at night. Please eat lots and sleep well.

I will write to you next week with more updates. I promise the next one will be less about me and more about you. I want to hear everything about how you are doing.

I await for your reply, and hopefully the fabric.

I love you more than words can describe.

Forever yours,

Tanjiro

[percyjavksongf]

June on the East Coast.•☆

➤Parings: Book!Percy Jackson x reader

➤Word count: 5’324

➤Warnings: very fluffy, one mention of death

“But nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it”

𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛

It was well known in camp that you had been blessed with a green thumb by your mother, you could grow anything no matter how bazzar and it would be the most wonderful thing to exist in the Demeter cabin garden. The only thing your hands were useless for was writing, you could spell and had neat enough handwriting of course but what use was that when you couldn’t put them to good use? You knew people kept diaries, journals, whatever the writer preferred to call them. You have no one to blame really for your frustrations but yourself since you’re the one who had the brilliant idea of starting a journal, you had overheard one of the Apollo kids raving about how useful they were, writing down all your emotions or even simply explaining your day, the point was that it was yours, you could write down whatever you wanted and no one ever needed to know.

That’s why you were currently tucked into the corner of your bunk, journal resting snugly on your lap as anxiously you chewed on the end of your pencil, why was it so difficult to write something down? You could think in your head of all the things you wanted to say but why was it so damn hard to put into words? You had managed to get the date down at least. You knew what you wanted to write about but the idea of having your most raw thoughts become materialised felt so nerve wracking, it would be better if you could write them down and then throw it away, maybe toss them into the firepit while no one was looking. You had expressed all this to Mitchell last night during dinner, making sure to be quiet enough that no one could listen in on such delicate information, after playfully smacking him for laughing too loudly at your fear of someone finding your journal and pinning it up on the camp notice board (dramatic but a totally rational fear) you downed the rest of your cherry cola.

“what if you send your writings away!” he beamed, an idea that received an unimpressed stare in returned

“don’t give me that look! I’m being serious. Listen, obviously you won’t be sending away all your personal stuff but even just talking to someone about your day can help make you feel more comfortable opening up to people, just do it bit by bit” you pondered his words for a moment, you supposed that some sort of penpal could be nice, you wouldn’t have to deal with the embarrassment of stumbling over your words because you start to overthink and panic yourself, you just write down some simple stuff and send it away.

“a penpal wouldn’t be too bad” you said, still not fully convinced on the idea

“it would be great! I also already know who your penpal could be” his sing-song tone earned an eye roll

“oh do you?” you say sarcastically

“yes I do” he replied matter of factly “and I’m sure Percy-”

“absolutely not” you spew out instantly “I am not tellingPercyof all people my secrets-”

“it doesn’t have to be secrets remember? Just writing to him about your day and how things are going at Camp” he protested and you pulled a face, he was always so convincing, probably another one of his mother Aphrodite’s gifts.

“Percy probably won’t want to write letters of all things, he’ll probably be too busy with mortal things” you say weakly, you however, did not possess the skill of producing a good argument.

“you know he’d ditch any mortal things to talk to you, doesn’t he call you with Iris every Saturday afternoon?” you had forgotten you’d told him that

“he does but-”

“but what? If he has no issues taking time out of his day to call you every weekend religiously then he won’t mind taking another ten minutes to write you a letter” Mitchell said finally and you rested your head on your hand.

“fine, I’ll ask him” you rolled your eyes playfully at his triumphant grin. You sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments, scoffing down more of your dinner before you’d have to head to the camp fire. “so..” Mitchell drew out, you glance over at him while still chewing, “what do you and Percy talk about when he calls? Does he tell you how much he misses you? I bet you two stare into each others eyes and-” you stand quickly from your seat and brush your hands against your shorts, hoping that your embarrassment isn’t evident on your face “ok conversation over-”

“I was just kidding!” he laughed, jumping up to join you quickly in your decent to the camp fire “but like does he actually say that or-”

“yeah he totally does!” you said with fake excitement “and he also tells me that he thinks your so nosy”

“I am not nosy! Simply curious” he said with a gasp as you finally catch up with the rest of the campers.

You stared at the paper for what felt like eternity, you had mentioned to Percy during your last call about the letters but quickly followed up that he didn’t have to do it if he didn’t want to, but of course being the selfless person he naturally is Percy agreed to it no problem, you didn’t mention why you wanted to start writing letters but he didn’t pry. Thats why you’re currently stuck in this situation, staring down at a page for at least half an hour while you think of how to start a letter, something most kids your age already know how to do. Writing ‘Dear Percy’ sounded far too formal and made you cringe, so you stuck with the casual and classic ‘To Percy’, good enough.

Eventually you decided that you should just ask Percy all the questions, you didn’t really know what to write about yourself. It was around half a page and probably contained a good few spelling mistakes but you decided to wake up early and send it off anyways, the only other people who could be wandering around this early would be the Apollo kids so it was the perfect way to get rid of the letter without all the curious questions. You had continued with your routine for the next couple of days with the letter glued to your thoughts, what if Percy thought it was stupid? What if it had gone missing in the post? What if he didn’t write back.

It arrived early the next morning, you ran frantically towards the big house to where Chiron had said it landed, snatching it quickly off the polished wood flooring you sprinted back to your cabin, ignoring your siblings protests of how early it was when you slammed the cabin door open and practically jumped into bed to read the letter. You stared at the smooth brown envelope for a moment, running the pads of your fingers of Percy’s name, you could tell he had taken the time to make it look neat and the thought made your heart flutter. You peeled the letter open as carefully as your eager hands would let you and let your eyes soak in Percy’s words, he asked about what was going on at camp and that it felt so old fashioned to be writing you letters, you couldn’t stop the grin on your face as you read through him explaining his days at school and how Sally had attempted to make blue pasta for dinner the day before. The letter ended with Percy mentioning that he accidentally made the water fountain explode and that Paul was trying to convince the school that he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Your eyes travelled to the end of his letter that simply stated ‘miss you’ before signing his name, you sucked in a quiet gasp of air and thanked the gods that your siblings were fast asleep, giving you the privacy you needed to dramatically fall back against your sheets and hug the letter to your chest.

Maybe Mitchell's idea wasn’t too bad after all.

It took a couple more letters but you found that writing to Percy started to come naturally, you opened up about how you were doing at camp and that your archery skills were starting to improve, you ranted about your garden but criticised yourself after posting it because why would Percy want to read about your gardening skills? You were surprised to see how positively Percy responded to your ramblings about how successful your patch of radishes were that he was excited to see your work when he returned to camp that summer.

It was early Friday morning when you sat in the strawberry field, Apollo was making his beaming appearance across the sky and the daylight shined a golden hue against the plump red berries, you had taken to writing your letters to Percy away from your cabin, your siblings had become curious to who you were writing all those notes too and you felt this was the best way to insure your privacy. You twirled the pen around in your hands and stared down at the paper on your lap, it had been a month now since you and Percy had started exchanging letters and you felt more confident writing to him about your day truthfully, your feelings about certain things happening around camp and how you missed him. You swear you had never felt so many butterflies in your stomach when you sent off that letter, telling him that you wished he was here with you, or you with him, too be honest it frightened you because it sounded so sweet, so...couple-y. You weren’t really sure what you and Percy were, Mitchell said that it was obvious you both liked each other and that you just needed to bite the bullet and confess, which you reminded him was much easier said than done, but you knew he was right.

Well, you knew he was right on your part, you did like Percy, a lot. You only really grew close last summer at camp, both getting yourselves into a bit of trouble and being sent to clean the stables every other day together, surprisingly you managed to bond over those gross chores and become inseparable until Percy had to leave for school, you had never minded too much about being a year rounder up until that point. During that summer together you discovered a side of yourself you had never known, you felt more daring, willing to take risks and you took everything less seriously, being with Percy felt freeing. You had a habit of sneaking off in the middle of the night and meeting Percy down at the lake, he’d bring you around and show you what life looked like down there, it frightened you at first but once Percy promised theres no way you could drown with his air bubble you took the risk, and you were so glad you did. You spent ages down there with Percy, lounging in the calm air bubble and watching all the different fish swim by, Percy talked about home and how he’d be looking into the New Rome college for next year, something you were equally interested in. it wasn’t till you saw the streaks of light dance through the water that you and Percy resurfaced and swam back to shore, your mixed laughter filling the air as you quickly grabbed your sandy shoes and ran back to your cabins before someone spotted you.

You never realised how hard it could be to say goodbye, standing at the top of the hill in late August watching Percy double check that he had all his bags before turning to you, he stared at your form as if drinking the sight of you in, you felt your eyes sting with emotion and you looked down at Percy’s bags, you didn’t want him to see you cry.

“do you have everything?” you asked, clearing your throat after and looking back to Percy.

“yeah” he said with a small smile, he still hadn’t looked away from you, something you were hyper aware of, you nodded and picked at the end of your sleeve, not trusting your voice to hide the feelings you felt bubbling in your throat.

Percy’s quick steps towards you took you by surprise but you welcomed his embrace gratefully, melting into his arms and revelling in how snugly they wrapped around you, tight and secure.

“I wish I could stay” he said, voice muffled into your camp shirt, your arms snaked around his shoulders and you let your fingers run through the dark curls at the nape of his neck,

“I wish I could go” you replied honestly, you felt the imprint of Percys smile against your skin and your eyes squeezed shut at the feeling. “I’ll call you, ok? I promise” he said sternly, pulling away but keeping his arms wrapped around you and your heart stuttered at the position you were in, he was so close. You nodded and gave him a quick smile “you better” you said and pulled away from Percy, noting his small frown from the action. He grabbed his bags and gave you a wave before walking towards the camp boarder, your eyes welled with tears and you couldn’t look away from his retreating frame. He gave you one last look before leaving the camp, you let yourself cry then, you knew he was coming back, you knew this wasn’t goodbye forever, but why did it hurt so badly?

“it’s hard to watch someone you love leave you” your mothers voice spoke from beside you, you didn’t look at her though, you didn’t want her to see your tears.

“when will I get used to it?” you asked, deciding not to argue against her observation of your feelings.

“never” she replied honestly “it gets some what easier, but your heart will always feel the ache of their absence” you turned to look at her then, she out of anyone would understand to have someone taken away from her due to circumstance, you wiped your face self consciously.

You’re surprised when you feel her hand press against your cheek for a moment, it was warm and rough but held the gentleness of a mothers touch. The feeling is gone soon after and you left standing alone in the green waves, you turned to look back at camp half blood bathed in the evening light.

Breaking away from the memories of your mind you looked away from your page and back towards camp, people would wake soon so you’d better get writing before your private writing nook was private no more. You had decided to write two letters, you usually one that consisted of day to day life and questions on how his exams were going. You stilled you pen when you went to start your second, this one you knew was never to be seen by Percy, ever. Mitchell had said that the whole reason to write letters was to give your whirling mind a break and to spill all your feelings onto a page, something you had struggled with greatly so far, but it would be fine right? You write this letter and tuck it away safely in your pillow case never to be seen by eyes other than yours. You decided to write about the day Percy left, what you wish you had said instead of asking about his bags, his stupid bags. You wrote how you missed him being the first person you spoke to over breakfast in the mornings and how he was always the last person you’d wave goodnight to before going to bed, you missed his messy hair and perfectly green eyes, you missed how his face flushed red after laughing for so long, you missed talking about your future lives together in New Rome and how exciting it’ll be to be able to exist like mortals. You wrote how you wanted to go to New York and walk around times square with him, you’d never been before and Percy had promised to take you someday. You apologised that the only thing you could think to say when he left was if he had all his bags, because you didn’t care about the bags, selfishly you had hoped he left something important enough behind to come back, you told him you hated saying goodbye and you never wanted him to leave you for this long ever again. You finished by saying that you were sorry that you never knew the right words to say, and that if you could go back in time you would’ve just blurted out that you liked him, and that you would miss him more than any words could describe because maybe if your heart didn’t long for him so much you’d be able to write down how you felt.

You stared at the page in shock when you finished, Mitchell was right, it did feel a bit better to have all your thoughts slapped down on a page and away from the cage of your mind. Shouts of delight from camp made you quickly shove the letters into their respective envelopes and tucked into your jacket pocket, you ran quickly towards the dining area and sat down next to Mitchell, who by the side glances he was giving you could tell you had been up to something.

The day had been wonderfully warm, something you and Mitchell made good use of by sunbathing lazily on the lakeshore, lunch time and quickly come and gone and before you knew it your siblings and yourself had retreated to your cabins for the night, giggling away about the days events and trying to decide who was on cleaning duty tomorrow

“oh! You left your jacket down at the lake earlier” your sister Billie said before throwing the jacket over to you, you stared at it in shock, shit, how could you have left that around knowing what was in there? You hands raced to the pockets of your jacket but grasped nothing, oh the fates were cruel to you. You breath quickened and you turned back to Billie “did you find anything in the pockets?” you ask, trying to keep your voice steady. She nodded absent mindedly and flopped down on her bed “yeah your letters to Jackson, don’t worry I threw them in the post for you already”

if the world could’ve burst into flames then and there you would’ve welcomed the warmth with open arms.

Percy was going to read the letter. He was going to read the letter and think you were some sort of love sick freak, he was going to read the letter and never write one back, would he even talk to you when he came back this summer? He’ll probably just walk right past you as if you meant nothing to him. You dragged your eyes away from Billie’s curious gaze and walked back over to your bed, laying down against the sheets with your back turned to your siblings, who thankfully had already retreated to their own bunks. The bundle of primroses sitting in the lopsided vase you made in the camp’s pottery class made you frown, being a child Demeter meant being an encyclopedia for all the unique flora around camp and those stupid primroses were currently teasing your already fragile heart. The primrose was a flower representing young affections and unrequited love. You flung the curtain shut, feeling sick to your stomach.

You spent the next day hiding away in your bunk, no one knew what that letter said but you felt like everyone would be able to see the shame painting all over your face, your siblings had already caught on that something was wrong but you waved them off with a fake cough, claiming you just felt a bit under the weather and you’d be back to normal in no time. The cabin was quiet, maybe staying inside was a bad idea. Your mind was racing with scenarios of Percy’s possible reaction to your letter, one that made a sob escape your throat was the thought of him laughing at it, what if he thought your letter was hilarious and showed other people? Pointing out particular parts that you poured your heart into. You knew it was silly, Percy’s one of the kindest guys at camp and you already know he’s been confessed to by loads of people over the years, and they all still speak positively of him so he must’ve let them down easy. The idea of it still eats away at you, you wouldn’t be able to handle it, him being laughing at your words probably to hide the embarrassment your confession brings him. A knock at your door tears you from your darkening mind and you yell out a weak come in, Mitchell cracks the door open hesitantly, swiping at vines that tangle in his styled curls, the motion brings a small smile to your face.

“I heard you’re diseased, being a good friend I came to make fun of you- are you alright?” his sarcastic tone was quick to change, no longer caring for the plants that drew towards him curiously as he crossed the room towards you. You nodded and wiped your cheek self consciously

“yeah I’m good” you said, Mitchell took a seat next to you on the bed with an unimpressed look

“if you’re so good then why do the plants next to your bed look like they’re about to disintegrate? Your green thumb gives you away”

the yellow tulips on your bedside table did look like they’d seen better days.

You give Mitchells comment a weak laugh, wincing slightly when you noticed his frown

“what’s going on with you? And don’t say your sick because thats bullshit, you don’t always have to put on a brave face you know, you’ve literally watched me vomit from crying after watching ‘When Harry Met Sally’” you nodded at that, the memory made stomach queazy, it was really hard to wash that out of the Aphrodite cabin’s faux silk carpet.

“you remember how you told me to write letters to Percy?” you said, picking nervously at the loose seam of your sweatpants

“you did it? Are you worried about how he’ll react? I’m sure it’ll be fine don’t worry about it”

“we’ve been sending each other letter’s for the last two months” you confess, the shocked look on Mitchells face makes you roll your eyes

“you little liar-”

“I haven’t lied about anything! I just didn’t explicitly state that I did it” your justification earns a small shove from Mitchell, the grin on his face lets you know that he isn’t truly mad at you. Mitchell opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off quickly “I accidentally sent Percy a letter that confessed my feelings for him”

If Mitchell looked shocked before he now looked like you’d grown two heads “no fucking way”

“I know, I’m an idiot” you sighed, Mitchells hand grabbing yours shifts your gaze back to him, were surprisingly, he looks the most serious you’ve ever seen him.

“you’re not an idiot, maybe this is a good thing” you’re the one to now look like he’s grown two heads

“are you crazy? This is horrible, Percy’s never going to speak to me again” you argued, how on earth could this be a good thing? Mitchell scoffed at your words

“he’d never ignore you and you know that, I think you’re just scared that this could become a real thing, it’s alright to be scared you know?” Mitchell spoke soberly, but his words made you feel defensive

“I’m not scared Mitchell, I just know Percy doesn’t feel the same-”

“stop it. it’s obvious he cares a lot about you” Mitchell retorts earnestly, but you shake your head much to his dismay and annoyance

“no it isn’t” you said while moving off the bed, Mitchell’s quick to follow

“look, we could argue about this fort hours cus’ gods know we’re both stubborn. But mark my words there will be a letter from that boy waiting for you in the big house tomorrow” Mitchell sighed

“just remember that it’s not just your feelings that are involved in this, I know things like this scare you but sometimes running away can cause more hurt than just facing it” with that Mitchell left you standing alone in cabin once more.

There was a letter waiting for you in the big house the next morning.

There was another one waiting for you a couple of days later, a week later you had a very annoyed Mr D banging on your cabin door, throwing the letters at you and mumbling about how he was going to start blocking Johnson’s letters soon. You gathered the letters as quickly as you could before throwing them into your bag as if they burned to the touch, before you could zip your bag closed your eyes found the letter dated two days after you had sent your last letter, you wondered if some sort of magic had been laced into it with how drawn to it you were. You reached into your bag and grabbed the letter, your hands felt heavy holding the letter. The sounds of your siblings shouts made you quickly shove the letter under your pillow.

“I heard your pen pal pissed off Mr D, now I wonder what he has to say that could be so important that he’s sending you multiply letters” Mitchells sarcasm is met with a kick to the leg under the dining area table, one he swiftly returns

“you do realise he’s gonna be here tomorrow, you can ignore those letters but you can’t ignore him”

“I know” you sigh, to be frank you’ve been trying to forget the fact that you’ll have to face the consequences of misplacing your jacket sooner than you’re comfortable with.

“your cabin will probably be the first place he goes when he gets here”

“you’re such a stress reliever you know that?” you said sarcastically, earning another kick to the leg.

You decided to skip the campfire tonight, making your way back to the Demeter cabin and grabbing the letter, you’ve been doing this for a few days now, staring at the letter as if it’s just going to start talking to you, you kept imaging Percy’s voice flowing from the pages to tell you how you were ‘such a good friend but definitely not girlfriend material’. You flipped the letter over and eyed the back, Percy was going to be here tomorrow morning whether you liked it or not, at least if you open this letter you can take his rejection in private instead of having to look him in the eye, the thought made you feel sick. The cabin was too risky to open it in, anyone of your siblings could decide to retire from the fire early and walk in on you sobbing into your pillow, with that embarrassing image in mind you grab the letter tightly and made your way over to the strawberry fields. Sitting among the berries helped calm your nerves slightly but your teeth still chewed worriedly at your bottom lip

“it’s just like taking a band aid off, quicker so it hurts only for a second” you mumble to yourself while fiddling with the letter, you ripped the envelope open and made out the beginning of Percy’s messy handwriting.

“you got my letters” the voice made you halt all movement, maybe you had gone crazy and the letters were actually talking to you.

Percy stood in front of you, he was dressed in his freshly ironed camp shirt and a pair of baggy blue jeans, his hair had grown out slightly since you’d last seen him and framed his face delicately. You watched as his eyes drifted across your body before landing back on your face, you hoped he couldn’t see the way your hands shook.

“what’re you doing here?” you finally managed to get out, gods you weren’t prepared for this

“did you read it?” he asked instantly, his voice steady in a way that didn’t help your nerves. You shook your head.

“Percy I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to send it”

Percy frowned, he walked towards you and gently took his letter from your shaking hands, sitting down beside you and unfolding the page. A crimson hue had bloomed across Percy’s face making his tan skin look even more gorgeous, you mentally noted how his freckles had already started to darken on his face. You sat in silence looking out towards camp, the fire was visible from the field and you could make out the other campers sitting around it. For once Percy had no witty comment, no sarcastic comeback to lighten the ever dulling mood that suffocated you terribly, was this a punishment of some kind? What god or goddess had you pissed off so badly that they decided your heart needed to be crushed in return?.

“Since I was twelve I’ve ben tasked with saving the world, and surprising I did it, twice. I’ve lost a lot of people I’ve cared about through the years. I can’t help but think of Charlie whenever I walk past the Hephaestus Cabin. I get lost in my head and imagine the life he could’ve had if I never existed to take it away from him” Percy’s voice was soft, the choked emotions of everything he’s ever felt.

“don’t say that” you whispered back sternly, chest hurting at the thought of Percy feeling so guilty for the actions of the gods, their actions took Charlie away, not him. Your hand reached for his and he was quick to accept it, the touch wasn’t uncommon between the two of you. His hand held yours firm and vulnerably, an unsaid plea to not let go just yet.

“I see you in everything” he laughed weakly, “I see you everywhere, whenever I see your favourite colour I see you. It’s been really windy in the city the past few weeks, Mom has these flowers growing out on the fire escape that sway around with the wind and I can’t help thinking of your hair and- gods that was embarrassing to say out loud” the sound of your joined gentle laughter was music to your ears. Your eyes meet properly since Percy sat down next to you, he looked tired and the thought made you frown. Had your silence done that? You felt a pit of guilt in your stomach.

Percy’s hand squeezing yours breaks you free from your mind.

“I can’t lose you” you whispered “I’m sorry if I ruined everything”

“you’ve ruined nothing. You could never ruin anything.” Percy countered, “I couldn’t sleep last night, I kept thinking of my life without you in it, and you know what’s crazy? I realised that I could never get over you if you left, I told you, I see you everywhere” Percy’s thumb had started to draw circles lazily on your night chilled skin, he was nervous. “can I hold you?”

you nodded instantly, the feel of his arms which were toned and scarred for years of training and battle fit snugly around you, his touch spreading a warmth through out your body that you missed. You head rested against his shoulder, nose brushing the side of his throat slightly. “I don’t want to just be friends anymore” Percy’s voice broke the silence and accompanied your pounding heart.

“me neither” you admitted

“let’s be best friends” his words earn him a bucket of laughter from you, you missed the way you felt when you were with him.

“best friends forever?” you replied jokingly, looking up at him and trying not to focus on how close your faces were

his lips press gently against yours and it only lasts a second, he pulls away slightly before you push up and kiss him again, his smile against your lips melts away all the months of insecurity that had plagued you.

“forever”

a/n: so ik i lied and said i had this ready like 3 months ago but yall school really kicked my ass so i literally haven't written in MONTHS, also this is not proof read so if it makes no sense then damn. hope yous have been keeping well!! so happy to finally have the summer to write more.

[andreafmn]

12 Days of Ficmas ❅ Day 3

Word Count: 4.0K Paring:  Tommy Shelby x Fem!Reader Prompt @12-days-of-ficmas: anonymous donor pays for the kids at your nonprofit to have a perfect Christmas. Wait, this handwriting looks familiar Warnings: mature language

Summary: For a little over half a decade, (Y/N) has run the Angel's Touch Foundation caring for children in need from all over Small Heath. But times are hard and money is tight, and all she wants is to give the children of her foundation the best Christmas. And an anonymous letter might just have all the answers she has been searching for.

A/N: goodness, I love angst a little too much. I think y'all might need to prepare for a christmas filled with just a tad of sad 🫣🫣

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Life in Small Heath had never been easy. Life in England had not been easy in general. At least not for the everyday man, much less for their children. 

(Y/N) had dedicated her life to making sure no child went hungry in her town. With what little money her family had left her, she had started a foundation in their name to do just that. For a little over half a decade, the woman had seen to it that no child went hungry or homeless, especially during the holidays.

It had been hard to keep Angel’s Touch afloat for years. Keeping the foundation running smoothly required more money than was flowing in most of the time, but she somehow always pulled it off. She didn’t care if she went hungry herself for a couple of days or if she lived in the smallest apartment she could afford. All she wanted was to make sure no child went through the hardships that had been bestowed upon them with no fault to them. As hard as it was. She pulled through every year, and she would continue to do so for as long as she could. 

That particular year had been particularly difficult, with their government funding being cut in almost half, a slow influx of donations, and the amounts of intakes growing (Y/N) didn’t know how they had even made it to December without more struggles. 

“I don’t know how we’re gonna give the kids a good Christmas celebration this year, Margaret,” she sighed as she sat on her desk chair. “We’re barely making it as it is, and I don’t even know where we’ll get the necessary funding for next year.” 

“Well, we could always ask…” 

“So help me, Margaret, if you say what I think you’re gonna say, I’ll fire you right now,” (Y/N) warned. “I don’t care that you’re my closest friend and one of the only reasons I’m still standing.” 

“I’m just saying, love. He could help,” Margaret shrugged as she placed a cup of tea before the woman. “But I understand why you don’t want to call him. We could try the church again. Grovel to the Father for some more donations. At least enough to give the kids a Christmas dinner.”

“Yeah,” she responded, ignoring the fact that her friend had tried to bring up the one man she had wanted nothing more than to forget. “I’ll try to call some family friends or try to kiss up to politicians and remind them or their re-elections. Maybe see if my brother has any money to spare. I just need to find someone with big and loose pockets for this month. Then, we can worry about next year.” 

“You’ll find a way,” Margaret said with a comforting smile. “Somehow, you always do.” 

“Just one year,” she begged. “All I want is for one year to go smoothly.” 

“Oh, darling, we didn’t get into this business because it was easy,” the woman reminded her. “We do it so the children don’t suffer under someone else.” 

“Right,” (Y/N) smiled. “For the children.” 

“We’ll make it through, darling. Don’t worry your pretty little face.” 

It was easier said than done, that much (Y/N) knew. She made more phone calls than she had ever done in her lifetime, trying her best to reach everyone and anyone who would listen. As Christmas day approached, she felt her time running short. Money poured in slowly, and it was spent twice as fast. At the rate they were going, it would have surprised her if all they could give the kids was a hot mutton stew. 

But what (Y/N) didn’t know was that a higher power was in play. Something and someone she had no control over. 

A week before Christmas, after receiving another shipment of donations of basic necessities, two of the children she housed ran after her down the halls. “Ms. (Y/N)!” they yelled as they ran. “Ms. (Y/N)!” 

“Woah, Helen, William, slow down,” she chuckled softly. “You know there’s no running in the halls.” 

“We’re sorry, Ms. (Y/N),” Helen smiled angelically. “But there was a postie outside. Left a package for you.” 

“Yeah, he said it was urgent.” 

The boy extended a pristine envelope sealed with the crest of England. “Alright, thank you, kids,” she smiled “Now, go on, darlings. Go get some lunch.”

Once the children were out of sight, (Y/N) hurried to her office. The envelope didn’t say who it was from, but her name was written on it in the most beautiful calligraphy she had ever seen. Inside the room, she put aside the box she was carrying and sat quickly by her desk to see what inside the letter was so urgent. 

“Slow down, woman,” Margaret chuckled as the woman pushed her aside. “What do you have there?” 

“I don’t know,” she said. “Helen and William gave it to me. Said a letter man had dropped it off, and it was urgent.”

“Looks quite official, doesn’t it? Does it say who it's from?”

“No. It only has my name.”

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Margaret smiled. “Open it already.”

“Alright, alright,” she chuckled as she pulled out her letter opener. The wax came off the paper easily and, inside, (Y/N) found two pieces of paper. But it was the one in front that caught her attention. “Oh, fuck.” 

“(Y/N), such foul language,” Margaret laughed. “What is it?” 

“Someone has donated sixty thousand pounds to the foundation,” she choked out. “Do you know what this means, Margaret?” 

“Oh, fuck.” 

“My sentiments exactly,” she laughed. “We are more than set for Christmas, Margaret. And not just the holidays. We’re set for next year!” 

“Happy fucking Christmas,” the woman exclaimed. “Does it say who it’s from? We need to do something to honor whoever it was that decided to answer our prayers.” 

“Uh,” she stammered as she looked for a name. “It doesn’t say.” 

“Anonymous donor? I mean, people do get rather generous during the holidays.” 

“Yeah, I just wish we could thank whoever it was,” (Y/N) said. “But, we have enough planning to do now. Christmas is in a week!” 

“Don’t you worry, darling,” Margaret smiled. “Everything will be perfect.”

As her friend set off to work, making phone calls and ensuring deliveries, (Y/N) looked over the second paper in the envelope. There wasn’t a name there either, but she recognized the lettering far too perfectly. In a handwriting that she wished she had forgotten the words: Happy Christmas to you and the children. 

At that moment, she wanted to break down. It had been years since she had spoken to him, much less heard a word from him. Yet, somehow, when she needed him most, he appeared like a knight in shining armor. In a simple cheque, he had been able to resolve her biggest worry. All it took was the stroke of a pen, and all her problems had disappeared. It was just so easy for him. 

But she couldn’t come undone. Not when there was so much to be done.

In the blink of an eye, seven days had passed, and the Angel’s Touch Foundation was preparing for a feast. Every single one of the kids had received their fair share of toys, clothes, and anything else they might have wanted. It was truly something out of a fairytale. 

Their entire home had been decorated from top to bottom for the holidays. It made the children very excited to see the place filled with Christmas lights and decorations, and many a kid stopped to gawk at the massive tree that had been propped up at the foundation’s lobby. Everything was beautiful and perfect. 

(Y/N)’s mind should have been focused on the kids and their happy faces. She should have been zoned into their reactions when they got to open presents that morning or their surprise when they were told what they’d be having for dinner. That’s what should have been running through her head. 

Yet, since she had received that letter, only one thing lived in her mind. His name and his face swirled around in her brain like it was the only thought that mattered. It consumed her every waking moment and filled her dreams with images of him. She had done so well to avoid him for years, and with just a few words, he was all she could think about. 

After dinner, while the kids all played and laughed a floor below, she found herself inspecting the piece of paper that had started her spiral. Maybe the longer she looked at it, something would happen. Maybe it would make him walk through the doors…

“Darling, you can’t spend the rest of the night locked up in here,” Margaret said as she walked in with two glasses of whiskey. “We’re supposed to be celebrating.” 

“I am,” she smiled softly. “I just… it’s this letter. I haven’t stopped thinking about it.”

“There’s no point to dwell on it, dear. There’s no name.” 

“I know who sent it.”

“What?” Margaret gasped. “So, there was a name?” 

“No,” (Y/N) chuckled dryly. “I recognized the handwriting. Instantly, actually. And I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.” 

“It was him, wasn’t it?” the woman inquired. “It was Thomas.” 

“It was,” she sighed. “I just don't understand how he could have known. I haven’t seen him in years, and then he shows up out of the blue with this letter.” 

“Darling, Small Heath is big but not big enough,” her friend mused. “Why don’t you go see him? It’s been long enough, don’t you think?” 

“And say what, Margaret? That I ran away from our home, and he’s somehow still saving me? I… I can’t go see him.” 

“But you want to,” she said. “And you know where he lives. Everyone does. So, just go to him.” 

“He’ll turn me away.” 

“It’s Christmas,” Margaret smiled. “He won’t turn you away on Christmas. Now, there’s a car waiting for you downstairs. So, go, love. Stop waiting around.” 

(Y/N) didn’t know what had possessed her, but her legs moved faster than her brain could think. And before she knew it, she was in the black car headed toward Arrow House. She could have told the driver to turn back around at any second, proclaimed she had lost her mind, and the best thing she could do was sleep off the madness. But the car kept moving, and the distance became bigger. Then, the grandiose house was looking down on her, beaconing her closer and closer. Once she was out of the car, her decision was made for her. The only way was onward. 

She knocked on the front doors, thinking there couldn’t possibly be anyone up at that hour. One second more, and she would have walked herself back home. Yet, the door opened wide, and an older woman opened the door. “Hello,” she smiled. “May I help you, dear?” 

“Oh, um, perhaps you could,” (Y/N) stammered. “I was looking for Mr. Shelby.” 

“Of course,” the woman said. “Come in. He’s just in his study.” 

“This late into the night?” she questioned as she followed the woman inside. “I thought perhaps he would have already gone to bed.” 

“Mr. Shelby keeps odd hours,” she explained. “But I think you knew that if you yourself are coming at this hour.” 

“Right,” (Y/N) chuckled. “I guess if he had been asleep, I could have used that as an excuse to leave.” 

“He was expecting you earlier in the week, Ms. (Y/L/N). But I guess you were quite busy with Angel’s Touch.” 

The woman’s words stopped her in her tracks. “You know who I am?” she asked. “And you knew I’d be coming?” 

“Of course, I know who you are. It’s my job to know,” she smiled. “Well, we’re here.” She knocked on the door before them and opened it ever so softly. “Mr. Shelby?” 

“Yes, Frances?” 

“Ms. (Y/L/N) has arrived.” Frances beckoned the woman inside, and she did as told. “I’ll leave you to it, then.” 

(Y/N) heard his voice before she saw him, and she felt shivers running down her body. His head snapped toward her the second he heard her name, and the cigarette he had just lit threatened to fall out of his mouth as he stared. 

They stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity, wondering if the image before them was a hallucination like the ones they’d had before. Maybe they were scared. Maune they thought the second one of them moved, the other would disappear.

“(Y/N).” Tommy was the first to speak. But his voice was so low it was almost as though he hadn’t, almost like he had said it as a prayer. “You’re here.”  

“Yes,” she breathed, her heart fluttering against her chest and threatening to jump outside of her body. “I came to thank you for your very generous donation.”

“Ah, so Angel’s Touch is yours,” he said nonchalantly as his demeanor changed to the mask he always wore. “I was simply trying to do a good deed this Christmas. The name of the foundation sounded familiar, but I had no way of knowing you were the one running it.” 

“You don’t have to pretend, Tommy. You already knew it was,” (Y/N) commented as she took a tentative step toward him. “Why now? After all these years, why have you reached out now?” 

“I have no need to pretend,” he announced as he filled a glass with whiskey. “I was truly just doing a good thing.”

“Right,” she conceded. “Well, I’ll simply thank you then. And since you did not leave a return address I had to come personally to give my gratitude. Your donation has changed the lives of many children.”

“Good. That’s what I wanted.”

“Alright then. I guess I’ll see myself out. Since you were only doing a generous thing.” (Y/N) turned, fully determined to walk out the doors and leave him with the same indifference with which he was treating her. But she couldn’t walk away. Not again. “Oh, cut the fucking bullshit, Tommy, and give me a real answer. Why now? I can only assume you’ve always known where I was. So, why did you reach out now?”

Tommy’s eyes found hers, and she swore she could have died at that very moment. She was sure in the infinite blue of his eyes, she could see the love he used to have for her, the love that had died after he had come home from the war. “I reached out because I heard you were in need of donations. Truly,” he explained. “I was going to hand deliver the cheque myself. Even went by the building.”

“I didn’t see you.”

“But I saw you, (Y/N). And I realized there was still so much anger and resentment buried that I decided to send it through the post. Because regardless of how I feel, those children deserve a better life than they were given,” he said defeatedly. His shoulders had fallen and she was starting to see the broken man behind the mask. “Yet, I still wrote that note, and I knew it would bring you around sooner or later.”

“For what, Tommy? Why did you want me to come here?” 

“Because I need a fucking explanation!” the man exclaimed, slamming his hands on his desk. “You fucking disappeared as soon as I came home from the war. In the middle of the night. You took your things, and you fucking left. Like I meant nothing to you. And you have the gall to stay in Small Heath. Hidden, but still there. Why, (Y/N)? ‘Cause it wasn’t just me you left. You left the entire family.”

“You’re joking, right? You truly have no idea why I left?” As she was met with silence, (Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh. She crossed the room as she did, staring out the window because it was easier than looking him in the face. “You were a completely different man when you came home. At first, I told myself it was normal. That the things you had seen in the battlefield would have haunted you ‘til the day you died. But then, there were things that could not be attributed to the war. 

I know you used the opium to help with your Shell Shock, and I tried. I tried to be okay with it because I truly believed you needed it, Tommy. But you’d be worse after. The nightmares still overtook you and your behavior… well, long gone was the man that used to make me laugh,” she sighed, wrapping her arms across her chest. “And, up to that point, I would have put up with it all because I loved you more than I loved myself. But then, you brought women into our bed. Maybe you thought I hadn’t noticed, or you believed I would keep my mouth shut and let you do as you pleased. Maybe I did wrong by you for allowing things to get to that. Still, I had not expected you to ever raise your hand at me, Tommy.”

“(Y/N),” she heard him call. 

“I can understand that you were drunk. Pissed out of your mind with the whiskey and the drugs. But I had told you how my father had treated my mother, and you had promised that you would never stoop that low.” She could feel the tears start to form in the corners of her eyes, threatening to fall down her cheeks in ugly black streaks. “That was the night I decided I would leave because I could not live in a house with a man I was afraid of. I told Polly what my plans were, and she helped me. She gave me enough money to go back to my brother’s, and she promised to keep my secret. I don’t want to think of what would have happened if I had stayed.”

“You know I would have never hurt you, (Y/N).” She could tell his voice was closer but cautious. It was the first time they had spoken, the first time they had gotten answers, and he was not about to lose his chance to understand it all. “I must admit, the man that came back from the war was not the man that left for it. I don’t think such a man even exists. But I would have never hurt you.” 

“How can you be so sure, Tommy? You swore that you would have never raised your hand at me, and you did. How far could a strike be? Or perhaps a push or a shove? That’s how it starts,” she shrugged sadly. “If I had stayed… I couldn’t have stayed. It would have ruined us both. I mean, look how well you’ve done for yourself. This house, your business, I’d say everything worked out well for you.”

“It didn’t,” he sighed, stepping even closer. She could feel his presence behind her, looming over her. She could feel the warmth from his body even as the cold from the winter seeped in through the window. “There’s always been something missing.” 

“I heard you got married,” she said. “Even got a little boy. I’d say that’s more than enough.” 

“My wife is dead. And though, yes, I still have my child, you know what I’ve been missing.” 

“You loved her,” she continued. “If love was what you were missing, you had it.”

“That is not what I meant, and you know it, (Y/N).” 

“You gave your heart to another. That’s what I know.” 

“How could I ever give something that wasn’t there anymore? Something that was taken many years before.” Tommy’s chest was pressed against her back, rising and falling at a dangerous pace. His hands ran up her arms, his touch so soft she thought it was a ghost. But he was there. She could feel his breathing on her neck, feel his heartbeat through his chest. Tommy was there, and she could not deny it. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). The last thing I ever wanted was to lose you.” 

“I didn’t want to go, Tommy. You have to believe that,” she sighed as she leaned into his touch. “I didn’t want to, but I had to.” 

“I know, but you’re here now. You’ve come back to me,” he whispered in her ear. “Please tell me you’ve come back to me.” 

“I can’t go through that again, Tommy. The children at the foundation depend on me, the workers… I cannot go back to the woman I was. I lost myself in you, Thomas Shelby. And if I did that again, I don’t know how I could survive.” 

Tommy kissed her neck unexpectedly, savoring her skin as he had done many years before. He breathed her in and sank into the familiarity of her body. He remembered her softness and her warmth, he remembered every curve of her body and the way it would react. He remembered how it had felt to have her belong to him. 

But (Y/N) also remembered how lost she had been without him at the start. Being with him meant losing a part of herself. It meant she would no longer be (Y/N) (Y/L/N). She would be Tommy Shelby’s girl. And she didn’t know if she could go back to that. Not when she had done so much to be the woman she was. 

Yet, the feeling of his lips on her reminded her of the moments they had been happy. They had been young and in love, and even if they had less, they felt the richest they could have been. His hands reminded her of a time when she had not been afraid of him, when his touch was a welcomed solace and not a dark premonition. It all reminded her of the life they believed they could’ve had. 

“Tommy,” she whispered as his kisses became feverish. “Tommy, wait.” 

“What?” he groaned. “We’ve waited long enough.” 

“If we were to do this, if we were to be in each other’s lives, we need to take things slow,” she said. “I cannot jump into these waters headfirst. I need time.” 

“Time,” he chuckled softly. “Time is something we’ve had so much of.” 

“And I need more of, Tommy. Please.” 

“Alright,” Tommy conceded. And though he wanted to be more annoyed, all he could feel was compassion. “At least stay the night. It’s late, and it’s Christmas. You shouldn’t be out on the road.”

“If this is another ploy to get me into your bed, Mr. Shelby,” she chuckled, turning to look him in the eyes finally. Those icy blue eyes that had always haunted her. 

“It’s not,” he smiled. “I can have an entire room set up for you if that’s what you’d prefer.” 

“It takes trust, doesn’t it? And it’s already a cold night, I wouldn’t want to freeze until morning.”

With a warm smile on his face, one he hadn’t remembered he could muster, he took (Y/N) in his arms. “Happy Christmas, (Y/N),” he said. “I do hope it was a good one.” 

“Well, I certainly haven’t had better in a while,” she chuckled. “But I know it’s the best one Angel’s Touch has seen.” 

“The best one yet.” 

“Right,” (Y/N) said. “I guess all we needed was a true angel’s touch.” 

“I’m no angel, darling. I’m more of a god.” 

“I can see the sense of grandeur hasn’t died down,” she chuckled as she leaned into his touch. They walked through the quiet house in each other’s arms, forgetting the past years, forgetting their absence in each other’s lives. They were simply present at that moment, and that moment only. “But I don’t think there’s anything I could do to thank you for what you’ve done.” 

“Well, there are a few things I have in mind.” 

“Very cheeky, Mr. Shelby,” she grinned. “But that’s not happening any time soon.” 

“A man can only hope,” he laughed. “But I’ll take what I can get. As long as you promise you’ll still be here in the morning.” 

“I promise, Tommy. I’m not going anywhere.” 

Next ->

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[jennamoran]

Tonight's Hitherby: "In a World Rapidly Turning to Cards"

I was too busy thinking about Nobilis to do another voiced thing today. So instead I'll repost a story I wrote back in 2004, and link you to a voiced version by Xavid, who's done readings of a bunch of these.

Dame Mathilda rides.

She is a bold knight, Dame Mathilda, born into a time of legends. She wears shining steel mail. She wields a bright sword. It’s long and it’s sharp. The hilt bears a lady’s favor. Its balance is fine, and the Pope blest its blade.

Dame Mathilda rides to rescue a princess. That princess has been kidnapped by a manticore. Dame Mathilda considers this typical, which should explain a great deal about her life and her situation.

Mathilda dismounts by the manticore’s lair. It’s a cave adjoining a grassy field. She brushes back her horse’s mane. “Stay well, Morningshine,” she says. “If things go poorly, I’ll need your swift feet.”

The horse whickers. “I plan to stay well,” he informs her. “I do not want a manticore to eat me.”

“That’s good,” she says. “Also …”

“I will not get stuck in a tree again,” Morningshine drones. “Or wander off a cliff. And that wardrobe experience — I shall not repeat it.”

“Good,” Mathilda says. She pats his nose. “Then I go.”

She enters the manticore’s lair. From within, the sounds of battle rage. Then comes a shout: “Flawless victory!”

Mathilda emerges. Her sword drips with blood. She carries a previously-stolen princess slung over her shoulder. She looks for Morningshine. Morningshine is not there.

Carefully, Mathilda reviews the situation. She looks up. Morningshine is not stuck in a tree. She looks down. Morningshine has not fallen into a pit. She looks around. She sees a squirrel. The squirrel looks innocent. Mathilda concludes that the squirrel did not steal her horse.

“Can I put you down for a moment?” Mathilda asks the princess.

“Of course,” the princess says, haughtily.

Mathilda does so. “Don’t wander off,” she says.

“I wouldn’t wander off,” the princess sniffs.

“You wandered off and a manticore kidnapped you,” Mathilda points out.

“That was not wandering,” the princess insists. “It was peregrination.”

“Before that, a chimera; and before that, an evil duke; and the time before that, I believe it was some jelly.”

“The jelly did not kidnap me,” the princess argues. “It was more that its tart, crisp flavor kept me enchanted.”

“Nevertheless,” Mathilda says. “Please stay put.”

Mathilda ranges through the field. She looks under every stone. She studies the clouds. She walks beyond the field and into the woods. She scours the earth. In frustration, she summons forth the dryad of the trees.

“Hello!” the dryad says.

“Hi,” Mathilda agrees.

“I’m a dryad!” the dryad explains.

“Have you seen a horse?”

“Horses go da-da-dun da-da-dun da-da-dun when they run,” the dryad says.

“Yes,” Mathilda agrees. “They do.”

“Da-da-dun, da-da-dun, da-da-dun, da-da-flutter.”

“It’s a canter,” Mathilda says.

“They can’t?”

Mathilda catches a glimpse of white out of the corner of the eye. It is high in a tree. She hands her sword to the dryad. “Please hold this,” she says.

“Okay!”

“And stay here.”

“I’ll stay here!”

Mathilda climbs the tree. She takes the white thing down from its branches. It’s a card. The card is white. The card is crisp. The card is clean. Its black letters say MORNINGSHINE.

“I cannot but think,” says Dame Mathilda, dropping lithely to the ground, “that Morningshine has transformed into a card; and this somewhat tops his normal straying tendencies.”

The card nickers apologetically.

“Well,” Mathilda says, philosophically, “at least you are portable.” She tucks her horse away in her pocket and goes to collect the princess.

A dragon flutters down into the meadow. Its neck is long. Its eyes are bright. Its wings are powerful.

“I am having a complicated day,” Mathilda explains.

“You are a knight,” the dragon says. “I am a dragon. This is not complicated.”

“This much is true,” Mathilda says. “But I just rescued the princess from a manticore, and it is traditional to return her to the castle before she is captured again.”

“I don’t see a princess,” the dragon says, puzzledly. “I had thought this was an essentially coincidental encounter.”

Mathilda frowns. She looks around the field. The dragon, curious, follows suit. Finally, the dragon spots a card.

“PRINCESS,” the dragon reads, holding the card up. It cocks its head sideways. It stares at Mathilda. “This is very low-budget, Dame.”

“It’s not my fault,” Mathilda protests. “She was a real princess when I left.”

The dragon thinks. “Well, are you willing to fight to win her back?”

“I suppose,” Mathilda sulks. “Let me go collect my sword.”

“Of course,” the dragon agrees.

A few minutes pass.

“Don’t get lost!” the dragon cries into the trees.

A few more minutes pass.

Mathilda stalks back. She holds the SWORD card in her hand. It is short and flat. It has the word “Sword” on it. It is blest by the Pope.

“Ha!” the dragon laughs. The dragon exhales the FLAME card. The card falls out of its mouth and sizzles on the ground. The dragon frowns.

“I am unsure,” Mathilda says, “which of us has the advantage under the current circumstances.”

They move towards one another; and begin the dance of knight and dragon; and finally retreat, one from the other, to sit panting on the ground. Mathilda clutches her ARMOR card close to her slip. The dragon looks with grave disapproval at the CLAW, FANG, and SCALES cards scattered across the grass.

Mathilda finally says what both of them are thinking.

“I don’t want to fight any more.”

“Hm,” the dragon agrees.

“It’s too bad that we pretty much have to finish the fight,” Mathilda notes. “For honor, I mean.”

“Ack!” the dragon cries, and rolls over. “I am slain! I am slain!” It flops, limp.

“Flawless victory!” Mathilda shouts.

Mathilda stalks off. After a bit, the dragon gets up and slinks after her. When she hears its footfall, deep in the woods, Mathilda turns.

“Why are you following me?”

“Humans are clever,” the dragon says. “I figure you’ll find a way to turn the cards back. Then I’ll have tooth and claw and flame again.”

“Go away,” she says. “We’re deadly enemies.”

“I’ve never really done anything to you,” the dragon points out.

Mathilda scratches her forehead. “It’s still how things are done.”

“No,” the dragon says. “‘How things are done’ has you killing me, or me killing you. Then you raise your sword in triumph, or I lick myself clean, gleam magnificently in the sun, and crack open your armor to eat your tasty corpse.”

“I can still kill you,” Mathilda says.

“No,” the dragon says, practically. “You can’t. You don’t know how.”

“I …”

Mathilda frowns.

“You don’t, do you?”

“I have a SWORD card!” Mathilda shouts. Then she sits down and sulks, holding a small deck of cards close to her heart. After a while, she leans back against a tree. After another while, she falls over on top of the TREE card.

“I don’t really want to kill you,” Dame Mathilda admits.

The dragon examines the DRAMATIC CONVENTIONS card. “Oh,” it says. “I’m glad. You seem pretty cool, for a knight.”

Mathilda raises an eyebrow. “You haven’t seen my best side.”

“I know,” the dragon admits. “I had to take that into account.”

“Okay,” Mathilda says. “As long as you understand.”

“It’s getting faster,” the dragon says.

“How can you tell?”

The dragon hops. “Less gravity.”

“Ah.” Mathilda thinks. She reviews the rules by which her life has functioned. “Is there any obvious way to overcome this situation through the power of friendship, understanding, and facing our inner demons?”

The dragon squinches up its face and clenches its sinuous body, trying to face its inner demons. This fails.

“I don’t think so,” the dragon says. “However, I will happily be your friend.”

“Good,” Mathilda says.

There’s a silence.

Mathilda sits up. She looks over. She stands up. She walks over. She picks up the DRAGON card. It is warm in her hand. She walks into the silence, and two years pass.

“Hi!”

Mathilda looks up sharply. It’s the first voice she’s heard in years.

“Who are you?” she says.

It’s a young woman. She’s fair and tall. Her eyes are deepest blue. “I’m Willow,” she says. “I’m the unmaker.”

“Hey.” Mathilda hesitates, and then permits herself to utter a small complaint. “Everything’s turned into cards.”

“Yes,” Willow says. “Everything everywhere but you. That’s why I had to come find you.”

“Why?” Mathilda asks.

“I looked at the world,” Willow says, “and decided that it would be better that way. But you won’t turn into a card.”

Willow reaches out. She touches Mathilda’s nose. Mathilda does not turn into a card. “See?”

“I see,” Mathilda says gravely.

“It’s efficacious enough,” Willow says. “I mean, everywhere else.”

Mathilda tilts her head to one side. Then she says, with gentle sympathy, “You need help, don’t you.”

Willow’s eyes mist over with confusion. “Why would you say that?”

Mathilda shrugs.

“Don’t,” Willow says, sharply. “I’m your enemy. I’ve killed everything. See?”

Willow holds up the EVERYTHING BUT YOU AND ME card.

“Yes,” Mathilda agrees. “But you’re a damsel in distress.”

Willow’s eyes burn. Then she turns away. “You can’t care,” she says. “You’re a paper tiger. You’re a pattern knight. You don’t know how to rescue anybody. If you did, people wouldn’t be CARDS.”

“I used to rely on my sword,” Mathilda says. “I used to rely on my sword, and my armor, and the presence of dragons.”

“Right,” Willow snaps.

“But that’s not what it’s about,” Mathilda says. “Striving for the right. It’s not about the forms.”

Willow sits down on the nothingness. She shrugs angrily.

“It’s not about the forms,” Mathilda says. “It’s about helping people who are hurt.”

“But I’m your enemy,” Willow protests, again.

“You’re also the second-to-last damsel in distress in all the world,” Mathilda says. “So I’ll have to let that pass.”

Willow looks down. There’s nothing beneath her feet. Just the endless hungry void.